Birth Day

Mike and I just got done talking with my doctor. Their normal procedure for twins is to deliver them by 38 weeks, 37 being just as good of a choice. I am 36 weeks tomorrow (Tuesday). The doctor is willing, though reluctant, to let me go into natural labor, so he is giving me until the 16th to do it. Otherwise, I am on the books for cesarean delivery the morning of January 16th.

I will be making an effort to stay active and encourage contractions, however, I still have to be semi-cautious because Mike is leaving for DC in 2 days and won't be back until Sunday night. His mom is coming in 3 or 4 days, so that I am not by myself. And yet, I have little expectation that I will actually go into progressive natural labor since only one of my other children was born without a little pitocin to help them along. My doctor will not induce me. If I come in for the c-section dilated to 8, (or any time before) he'll just let me go. Past experience says it takes me a week or two of consistent contractions to progress that far.

In conclusion, you can pretty much mark your calenders that Anastasia and Amelia have a birthday of January 16th.

I'm Done

I had an ultrasound today from an ultrasound specialist. They finally got all the measurements down. According to their calculations, each baby is now about 6 pounds. I am done being careful. I am done taking it easy. It is time for these critters to come out. I am 35 weeks and 2 days. At 36 weeks is when doctors feel completely safe with the delivery of a baby. According to the doctor I saw today, although 40 weeks is full gestation, with twins they take the babies at 38 weeks. Yeah, I am having a contraction right now.

I will be talking to my regular doctor tomorrow to see what he has to say about it. If I can manage to go into labor before that, I won't have to debate with my Doc about whether or not to do a c-section.

You know what's funny? I heard my babies' heartbeats today for the first time. I have seen their hearts beat on the ultrasound, but not heard it. Today they hooked me up to a fetal monitor and I got to listen to their shwop shwop shwop shwop for several minutes. Usually I get the doppler mic on me about the 12th week and get all misty eyed when I hear my baby for the first time. It is then that pregnancy becomes real to me. Of course, when you don't go to the Doc until your 24th week, there are several other reality checks you get without the Dop mic.

You know, I actually did hear the babies heartbeat before. I wasn't sure because before I went to the Doctor, I borrowed a stethoscope from a friend and found one heartbeat on the left side. But I know now it was the baby's heartbeat because it was in exactly the right place. I got a really strong pulse in the center of my belly and today learned that it was the blood pumping through the umbilical cord.

The kids have dinner on the table, so I better go. But not until this next contraction subsides.

Christmas Vacation

No Snow, for Christmas, just showers of love. If you read Mike's blog, it sounds like all we got was movies and video games. The movies were what we got from Thomas and Vickie, who were our exchange family. I had mom and dad, and since they are coming in January, I figured I would give them their gifts to take home. I will probably make them go shopping with me at Bed Bath, etc because it is now Clearance Season, where everything that is on clearance is brought back out of the stock rooms and is marked down an additional 30% off the lowest ticketed price--and you can still use the 20% off coupons on top of that (which is what I would automatically get if I was still an employee, but I am not.)

The girls got dresses and the boys got new suits for church from this awesome store called Syms, to which I had never been, but love. Lots of high quality brand-name clothing and great discounts. I got Mike a robe and a shoeshine kit. I also gave him a promise that we would go back to Syms and get him another suit or two. He only has two and he has to wear a suit to work every day. I like watching my dapper darling go out the door in the morning.

Mike got me a case for my makeup because he hated the one I had. It is big enough and nice enough that I can even put all my new Cookie Lee Jewelry (as well as previously existing accessories in) along with my makeup. So I am now a Cookie Lee consultant, but I have yet to look at my information and imitate getting started.

The kids are all here all week, and I am here with them. I like it. Mike has short workdays this week, but he is working. The boys--get this-- played video games all yesterday while I took the girls shopping. Where do stereotypes come from? How did we fall so easily into them? I left Lexi and Emylie at the Mall while Claire and I exchanged her 18" bike for a 20" bike that would continue to fit her for much longer than the smaller one. There ended up being no price difference either. Since Emylie has a WalMart gift card, she is anxious to go, so we may do that today (depending on how their rooms look by the time I have my Dr. appointment).

Isaac and Emylie both have cell phones now. Isaac is on my plan and Emylie is on her dad's plan. Those little boxes have generated the most excitement for them. I resisted them having a cell phone for a long time, but I am tired of wondering where Isaac is after school. He has no excuse now not to let me know where he is.

Emylie has decided to go back to her dad's for the rest of the school year. She misses her friends. She wanted to go a long time ago, but I made her stick it out a little longer. Splitting parenting necessarily means less control over your children's lives. It is hard, but you have to continue to teach them and trust them to be mature and make their own decisions based on what you have taught. I guess it gives them a chance to mature a little sooner. Good or bad, that's the way it is. I treasure the time I have with them.

Calm Before the Storm

It has been a lovely, quiet weekend, with just Mike and I hanging out together and tying up loose ends before Christmas. We may have one more weekend completely to ourselves before the babies are born, but then never again.

My focus this weekend has been on keeping my activity limited and my feet up, to reduce swelling. In the second trimester I could feel the tension of my skin being stretched as me belly grew. Now I have that same sensation in my feet and ankles. It's really gross.

I have also been working on a little sewing project that has to be completed before Christmas Eve. I can't say more than that at present, because we never know what prying eyes may happen upon my blog.

Tomorrow is my last day of work at Bed Bath and Beyond. I told my store manager I would try to hang on until Christmas, and I have. Everybody says I am doing really well for having twins, and I guess I am. I have gotten to the level now where I am familiar enough with my discomfort that it doesn't bother me so much. I just don't like those moments when I really need to go to the bathroom, and then I get a contraction, and with all that pressure, a child decides they need to adjust themselves. But it only lasts for a couple of minutes.

Mike and I will be going separate ways tomorrow night to pick up kids so that we can have everybody wake up at our house on Christmas morning. We are excited about it. It will be our first Christmas all together. Last year we had to have two separate Christmases.

We had a fairly warm week last week, but we got wind from the north. It is really cold again, and they are saying that there is a chance we could get some snow flurries for Christmas. That is exciting in Texas, for those who may not appreciate it.

Look at the Baby

This is me in Missouri at Thanksgiving, looking every more like Joan Cusack. It was just Mike and I for that trip. Below is a more current picture. It is the profile of Righty. We can't see lefty's face because of the way she is turned.

As you can see, full lips are an inheritance from both sides of the deal. The NP noted that these babies were not small. They are skinny, but they are long, hence the pain in my ribs. Lefty's head is lower, so she will probably be born first. She seems to have a bit more of an aggressive--or at least active--personality

Wuh Wa Wa Wa

Okay, I'm sick of people saying I'm cute, and I don't want to be told "You look really good for having twins." I'm huge, uncomfortable, and in fact, sick. My belly is as big as it was when I delivered my biggest baby (Andrew) but I am still 5lbs under that weight. I want to eat, but I have to eat in smaller portions and I don't have time to graze all day. I have gotten so used to being hungry that I don't even recognize my hunger. I want to take care of my babies, but that requires me standing on my feet a great deal longer to fix something significant for myself and my children. It's not that I don't have food in the house, I just don't have convenience food.

Because of poor nutrition and improper rest, I have a major head and chest cold that is a week old. I never have that problem. I have become glad of my pads when I am seized with violent coughing episodes.

Anyway, I was out for the past week because I had to spend every spare hour doing data entry for the Bishop, who owns a number of dental offices. He just bought another one because the dentist died, but everything was hand-written on ledgers, with no computer files at all. Mike and I put over 1,000 names and basic patient information on an excell sheet in four days, in addition to our full time jobs, and trying to keep our house together--missed on the last, but we tried.

I would love to be involved in Christmas. I am missing it. I want to bake--not just have a couple of buns in the oven. I enjoy shopping. I want my house to look nice. I got my tree up, but it has been partly decorated for a week with the remainder strewn about the living room. All of those things are doable for even a pregnant mother of twins, but not one who is working 8 hours a day, five days a week. Today was really rough, though. I am going to talk to them tomorrow about cutting back what I already have on the schedule, because if I work the full schedule, this will probably be my last week. I would rather just scale back, though.

It looks like I am going to have a few visitors when the babies come. I am excited, and look forward to seeing everybody.

Whew!

Mike had an interview on Friday at 8AM. By 4PM he had a job offer. He accepted, and he starts on Monday! Just when the bank accounts looked hopeless... It will pay an okay base salary and have some commissions as well. I am really not sure what he will be doing, but it has something to do with doing setups for tech companies at events and conventions. Getting a company to go with his services is, I guess, where the commission comes in. Maybe he will post a blog to correct my ignorance.

He has not heard word back from Microsoft, which he interviewed with on Wednesday. I don't know what we would do if we did get an offer from them. Just because of the benefits, we might withdraw from the other company, but taking their offer right now is much wiser than waiting on the unknown.

Are We Done Yet?

I think I have reached term pregnancy size. I am 31 weeks, which means I have at least 7 weeks to grow. I don't know how such things are possible. My trepidation about my ability to support the growth of two babies inside my body keeps me from enjoying the experience I am having. I just don't know how much more uncomfortable things will get. Sleeping is becoming extremely difficult and requires an increasing number of pillows. I hardly slept two nights ago because Lefty was kicking my ribs all night.

I am still working six hours a day, but I am still not as tired when I get home as I was the first trimester. I just hurt more. I have gained 23 lbs and my ankles are swollen. The kids are doing a pretty good job, though of helping out and being aware that I have to do less and they have to do more.

I am at the library, and I need to eat dinner--which means make it. Till next time.

Holiday in Missouri

I am winding up a cozy weekend for adults.  It has just been Mike and I and his mom and dad just enjoying each others' company.  Thursday we just sat around and ate all day.  We watched a couple of Hitchcock movies and a couple of football games.  The Cowboys are having a good year, eh?

Yesterday we tootled around Missouri.  We visited the RLDS (now Community of Christ "Temple" and the neighboring church visitor's center where they had a Dead Sea Scroll Exhibit that ends today.  It was pretty cool.  They also had some water pots and oil lamps (I was surprised how small the lamp were) from the time period.

After that we revisited Liberty Jail.  Since it was just us adults, we had a wonderful discussion with the young sister Missionary who gave us the tour.  At the end of the tour, we stopped to enjoy the Nativity display there at the visitors center.  Local members donated their Nativities from around the world.  There were probably about 50 different sets and works.  Ten of them were from the "Skembos Liberty Stake."  Consie has collected them for years.

Before we did any of that we stopped at Sam's to restock their candy at the Far West Country Store.  They made me ride the fat lady scooter cart.  I really do need to take it easy because these babies have to stay in there for two more months.  This month has gone by fairly quickly, though.  

Today is our last day here.  Tomorrow we leave after Sacrament Meeting so we can get the kids back and get back to work.  Mike has three job interviews lined up for the coming week already.  We'll see.

Pink

I have deleted all of the boy items from my Babies R Us registry. Both of them gave a clear view for the doctor. I have two girls. Doc says there are two separate sacs, but they have thin walls, which leans more toward identical. Of course, I don't expect them to be anything but identical. Doctor says their measurements are totally consistent with the 29 Jan. due date and they are growing equally.

Mike is coping well enough. He had a house full of boys growing up. He is not used to hormones. It will be a good experience for him. I am sure I will get a chance to make another post before the holiday, but I wonder if anyone will read anything before then. Just in case, Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I hope you enjoy it. I don't have enough room in my stomach to really enjoy it. If I eat two bites too many, I become reflexively bulimic. The Nurse Practitioner says I just need to have little feasts all day. This Thanksgiving be thankful for the space in your abdominal cavity.

FAQ's

Are you far enough along to find out the babies' sexes? Yes

I am 29 weeks. As long as the baby is positioned well, the sex can be determined at 20 weeks.

Do we want to know the babies' sexes? Yes.

Because we have a nice "bottoms up" situation, it should be pretty easy to determine the sexes at my in-depth ultrasound on Monday. I went to Babies R Us to update my registry today and added multiple sets of both boy and girl clothes. When I find out, I will delete the unnecessary clothing.

Can the doctor tell you if they are they identical or fraternal? Yes and no.

They can only rule out identical if they are male and female, or confirm identical if they are sharing a placenta sac. However, if they are the same sex and in a different sac, we may not even be certain if they are identical or fraternal after they are born. However, I expect that they will be identical, because of family history, and I was certainly not in fertility therapy.

When is the due date? Jan. 29th

All of my other children came two weeks late, so until I knew it was twins, I told people I was due in early February. Realizing that they usually come early, I am now telling people I am due the end of January. However, Mom said she carried the twins to full term and her singles were late like mine. So, rather than have them at 42 weeks, I will have them at 38-40 (January 15th-29th), despite the fact that the majority of twins deliver by 37 weeks.

How long are you going to work? I don't know.
I expect to be on bedrest (on orders, or voluntarily). I may be able to hang in there long enough to be of help up until Christmas Day. If I make it that far, I will certainly stop there. After that, I expect to return to being an at-home mom. There is just no value in working for 8.25/hour when I have a baby to care for. That is enough to pay for daycare and taxes, while still putting us in a higher bracket so that we are sure not to qualify for earned income credit. Not enough families realize those implications.

I will be looking at some dance/music teaching opportunities for a little extra here and there, where I can bring my babies along. Hopefully they will be content babies. I doubt they could be as easy and content as Andrew.

The answer to the unaskable question. Yes, I will be breastfeeding.

Any other questions?

It Takes Two to Make it Out of Sight

It's official. Baby A and baby B are side by side, heads down, which explains why I get so much stinking kicking in my ribs.

I only met with the Nurse Practitioner today, who happens to be the mother of twin boys. Monday I will be having an in-depth ultrasound with the doctor, who is the father of twins. This doctor was recommended to me by a couple of ladies in the ward.

I'm stuck in a 70's sitcom. I've gone from the Brady Bunch to Eight is Enough! I'm excited. Since I work right next door to Babies R Us, I registered there, though I have never been in the store, I did it all online. Feel free to visit babiesrus.com and look up our registry number: 68713835 or you can look it up by searching under Skembo.

Emylie the Artist

This is Emylie's freehand drawing in colored pencil. She did this one from an art instruction book, though this picture did not have instructions, it was inside cover art. She does a lot of other things out of her own brain.

Activity

Monday was a busy day at work. I had contractions every 5 minutes for the last two hours I was there, and another full hour after I got home. I did leave work a little early, and I laid down most of the rest of the evening. I was not feeling well at all, and I was concerned about how much longer I would be able to work.

However, I had kind of the same problem last Monday as well. I think I must be doing too much on the weekends and adding a full day of work to it after that just sets everything off. Yesterday and today were fine. I only had one or two contractions per hour, with none during some hours. Even that would be a source of concern for some, but since I regularly had contractions for a month or two before all of my other babies were born, I only see them as a warning sign to take it a little easier.

Babies were pretty still over the weekend, but there was tons of activity in the middle of all my contractions. The one on the top had been the far more active one for the longest time, but I am getting a lot more movement on the left side now too. Some of the movement is so strong that it moves the rest of my body, like someone bumping against my chair or something. I love feeling the life inside of me. Pregnancy is uncomfortable, but I love it.

Big Transition

Emylie got her certificate of achievement from the Bishop today to advance to Young Women's just before the primary program. Isaac was the only one who did not participate in the primary program today, but next year, only 3 kids will be in it.

Lexi and Emylie both went to YW today after my class. I have one more student who will turn 12 in a month. After January, I will have no students in my class, so I will be able to attend the adult classes. I took Emylie, Lexi, and Isaac to a fireside tonight. I have three children over the age of 12. Three. And two in my belly who will not go to youth activities for a long time. Just strange to think.

It is funny how pals-y Emylie and Lexi have been this weekend. Lexi had a bunch of things going on with her mom on Saturday and Emylie kept asking when she was going to be here. Their friend, Megan was here part of the time, and they all got along fine--including Claire. It was supposed to be the weekend of Emylie's big birthday party, but she wanted to keep it small. Because it was so late before Mikey and Lexi got here, we didn't have cake until 10 pm. The only present there was to open was an MP3 player, but she had gotten the wig and a nice set of leather bound scriptures the week before, so she actually got a REALLY nice birthday.

Claire, the Artist

Emylie has long exhibited artistic talent, to the point of over-shadowing her sister, Claire. However, last month Claire was selected to be part of an art exhibit at the school district office. We did not get a chance to visit the exhibit, and neither did you, however, the school district has teamed up with Artsonia.com to publish the exhibit online.

View Claire's artwork, comment, or join her fan club. Click on her work when get to the gallery. You can also buy prints of her art on greeting cards or T shirts. Proceeds will benefit the school art program.

You can appreciate her work better by taking a closer look at some of the other children's work. Her color saturation and pen strokes are definitely more mature than her schoolmates. The continuity of her border through the color changes adds to the effect as well.

Pain

Monday at work was awful. I kept having pains and contractions. I was concerned that I was going to have to stop working soon. I went home and laid down the rest of the evening. I was not able to sleep at all that night. Nothing was comfortable. Tuesday at work was much better, and I slept well last night, for the most part. I did have a dream that one of my left ribs was broken and sticking out, so I pulled it out like one would an underwire that was malfunctioning. I did wake up to a very sharp pain there.

Mike is on week two of having his car all torn apart. It has consumed him. There is little time for anything else. He has been in a lot of pain for one reason or another; whether its smashed fingers or aching muscles. He is having to take me to and from work so that he has a vehicle to fetch any unexpected parts in while he is working. He thinks he has everything he needs now. He has new tie rods, shocks, breaks, springs, rebuilt calipers, and whatever else attaches to any of those things, plus a new clutch master cylinder. We have probably spent about a thousand dollars in parts, but the labor that we are not paying for would amount to at least another $4,000. Our friends Cash and Scott have contributed to the labor, or Mike would probably have another week of work to do, and he would have had to buy a great many more tools and tidbits. We still need to get an alignment not that all of those components have been replaced, and are in great need of at least 3 new tires.

All of it has been no source of stress for me. Mike is strung out, but I am excited for him. I guess the timing couldn't really be better, since he is out of work. There is no way he could have done all this if he had his job.

Whaddaya think?

I am at 27 weeks, which marks the end of my second trimester, making me (newly) 6 months pregnant. A lady came into BB&B two days ago, who was due 2 days after me, and we were very close in size. She has been to the doctor, and is definitely expecting twins.

Did you know that your chances of having a multiple pregnancy double when you are over 35? I continue to experience significant movement in my belly. I have felt a heel right up at my diaphragm and tickled it. However, I have a really hard time distinguishing what is what. The most dramatic movement occurs on my right side.

If it is twins, one baby is facing out (the one on the right) and the other baby has its back against my belly and its limbs toward my back. It just seems like I am getting nudged from a hundred different directions.


I definitely sense the urgency of seeing a doctor now. I took the day off work yesterday so I could apply for Medicaid. UGH! I had #317. They were on number 269 when I came in. I was there for 3 hours and they were on 279. THEN I find out that I can just leave my filled out application (that I got online and filled out at home) in the box for them to review and they would call me for an appointment in 7-14 days. If I had known that, I would have done it 2 weeks ago just after work. I was expecting to have to sit in a waiting room. If I had stayed and waited the six hour minimum I still would have had to come back for an appointment.

As much as I wanted to stay in a room with mothers talking about Child Protective Services in relation to their addictions and overweight smelly people crowding the chair next to me, I had to get the van back to Mike so he could take the kids out to Matt so that I could get a ride to be at the church by 6:30 for our warm-ups for the 7:30 performance. Yes, I left.

I will not wait 7-14 days, however, until I contact doctors and make an appointment, since Medicaid can be retroactively applied up to 3 months.

Baby just woke up. I love playing with my baby. Where it kicks, I push on the spot with the same rhythm and it pushes back. I have never had a baby respond like that. It is amazing.

By the way, you haven't seen my hair yet. It is 2 months longer than it was. My hair has not been growing very fast, though. I just went 2 weeks without shaving my legs, and it was hardly noticeable.

All Saints Day

All Hallows eve is done. Today used to be the holiday that was focused on. I guess that was when a much higher percentage of the population was Catholic.

Emylie went Trick-or-treating with a couple of friends last night as some sort of princess. Her dad bought her a costume wig, but it is really uncomfortable and she doesn't like it, but her new everyday wig that we ordered showed up yesterday. She is really excited about it. Today she is wearing it to school for the first time. We'll see how the kids at school respond to it today, and how she responds to them.

I walked around the block last night with the other three. The neighbor kid, Vuk and his little sister Ani (short for something-they are Polish or Russian or something) came along with us. Claire was a Gypsi with a black wig. Isaac and Andrew and Vuk were dressed in camo as some sort of military unit. Isaac kept giving drill commands and marched them between the houses.

Somebody "Boo'd" us (ding-dong-ditch) a couple of nights ago, but Mike and I were not here, and before we got back, the kids had eaten all the candy they gave us. So last night, everyone was required to dump out their bags for "inspection." They were told to give us anything they didn't like. After that, we were free to take anything that WE liked from what they had left. The bowl that was left on our porch is now full of things to satisfy adult-only sweet-tooths.

Tomorrow I have the day off because I asked for it, so I am going to go apply for medicaid because I really need to see a doctor. It's not the doctor I need to see, it is what is in my belly that I need to see. I am just barely six months along. I have now passed into the third trimester, but I look like I should deliver in the next three weeks. My fundal measurements continue to be ahead by several weeks, and the activity in my belly continues unabated. Either the child has ADHD already, or they just like playing with each other.

I am having more spurts of sore ribs where the bones and cartilage are stressed by the pressure of baby living and growing there, which I have not experienced before.

Time for work again.

Fall Festival

Last night was the ward fall party. There was an adult costume contest. I went as a pregnant lady, but that is because Mike wasn't going for my couple costume idea of me being Bruce Banner and him being the Hulk. Okay, so we didn't dress up at all because we didn't have a spare minute to do anything.

I did 10 loads of laundry, got groceries, made waffles for breakfast and even made lunch for everybody, made chili for the carnival and cupcakes for the cake walk. Mike was busy taking his car apart. He finally has nearly all the parts and pieces he ordered for rebuilding his brakes, suspension, and drive shaft. It will be out of commission for a few days while he gets all his work done.

Today we began rehearsal for the primary program, but could not run through it in the chapel because another ward was in there. It was just the singles ward. Don't know why they can't skip sacrament meeting for a week or two. Maybe they could have Sacrament meeting at the park. Singles love that kind of stuff. That, or next week when we do our run though the single adults, who miss the opportunity of a primary program could have us "bring the spirit through the hearts of children." Yeah, our practice should be their Sacrament Meeting!

Being our first week of run-through, it was the usual madhouse. It looks like it will be an awful program, but experience tells me that the kids will be fine.

I've been teaching the 11-year-old girls for a year now. That is the longest I have held a calling in a long time. Probably because I don't like it that much. I love my girls--for the most part that literally means "my girls"--but I don't feel like I have put much effort into lessons and preparation. I absolutely loved my calling as the primary choirister, and I only got to do that for 4 months. It was long enough to be part of a killer Primary Presentation.

This is my last week of two choir practices. I have ward choir in 20 minutes. I missed the one before sacrament this morning that would have been a nice warm-up for our ward conference special music, but I did not feel in any way like getting out of bed this morning after all I did yesterday. I have Stake choir tonight at 7, then next week is the cantata, which should be really nice.

I have to leave now.

I have been trying to squeeze as much into my mornings and afternoons as possible, but still not getting anything done that needs to be. I have to talk to the scheduling manager about having a day off next week. I need to apply for medicaid and get a Dr. Appointment.

This week I took Emylie downtown to fit her for a wig. We have gotten to that point. She wasn't sure about it before, but now she is excited. They didn't have what we wanted in the store (meaning something near $100) so I will be ordering one this morning that the company has online, now that it is payday.

That is the last check we will be getting from Mike's previous employer. He has already been contacted about temp work, but when he showed up yesterday, no one else was there.

It is finally cold enough here for long sleeves and jackets in the morning. Short sleeves is still fine in the afternoon. I have yet to turn on the heater, though.

Fun with Hon

Mike got a hairbrain yesterday and decided he had to have cheesecake. His sister has a recipie that he is very familiar with, so he got it and made it. We had fun in the kitchen together. Not laughing, playing fun, just nice to be working side-by-side fun. I was making dinner at the same time he was making dessert.

I didn't get to taste the cheescake until today. I liked it. IT WAS CHEESECAKE, DUH! --Even with forgotten vanilla.

This post has been sitting in my drafts for nearly a week. I guess it's been that long since I posted.

Neck knots

I'm feeling a little tense. I took more than a third of the money I have been saving for our Disney vacation to cover expenses for Mike's car, which is not driving safely at all right now. Fortunately, that is only half of what it would be if he wasn't so skilled at his own labor--or he would not be getting it fixed right now.

Just as my savings is dramatically reduced, Mike's company pulls his contract and we are left, once again, jobless. However, he has an interview today with a company where he is becoming very well-known. I will not give any details because in the past that seemed to jinx things.

If things work out with this company, we will have the medical benefits we so desperately need. If it does not, I am now able to qualify for medicaid, so there is always a positive. In the long run, somehow, there will be more positives than negatives. In the present tense, (there's that word again) I have knots in my neck.

Off to the Races

Yesterday we went with our friend, Cash, his granddaughters, and a few other people to the drag races. Lexi and Mikey had fun for a little while, but then complained about being bored. The boys came back with a bit of a sunburn. That pretty much filled up our day.

When we got home, Mike started working on his talk for today. His topic was Following the Prophet. This is the first time he has been asked to give a talk since he was able to be classed as a youth speaker. He ended up going into work before he was able to finish, so I took dictation for him and helped him with revisions and stuff while he was driving to and from work. We make a good team. It was a great talk and he delivered it well. What I liked best about it, is that it was powerful, succinct, and the meeting ended five minutes early.

I went to choir practice this morning before church, but only the accompanist, director, and one other person showed up. We were not able to go over our special number that we were on the program for, so the other lady and I did an impromptu special musical number of "Come listen to a prophet's voice." We only had enough time before the meeting to decide on the song and give the first verse a shot. It turned out fine, of course.

Now I have to get ready to meet Matt for the kid exchange, get back in time for Isaac to go to the regional youth fireside with President Dahlquist, YM General President, and then to my stake choir practice.

"There is an hour of peace and rest"--somewhere in all that.

Andrew

I missed Isaac's Tuesday game because I was in the hospital with Andrew. It was the last game Isaac will be able to play for three weeks because of his grades. His team won, though, I think, 26-6. That is really impressive. Their first string team lost again. Either they kept the teams more even than the other schools or this school has a really deep skill pool so that there just is not a big difference between Team A and Team B.

Yeah, Andrew and the hospital...Not a big deal really. He has been fighting a bronchial infection for a week or two since fall allergies kicked in. After the weekend at his dad's he was wheezing again. He was complaining that he could not breathe. Since we don't have a doctor yet, I took him to a few different urgent care clinics and Dr. offices trying to find one that takes the military insurance. By the time I found one, all the clinics were closed so I went to the nearest ER that takes it.

The doctor was barely able to diagnose him with pneumonia because he had a "little spot in his left lung." He has not had a fever, except for the mildest that day. He went to school the next morning, though.

Today I had a conference with his teacher, Mr. Wu. He has a really high reading level, which I was pleased with, but, like Claire, it does not translate into successful spelling. The teacher was convinced, though that his writing was below what it should be. It would appear that Andrew has a standard case of Boy Lazy. I mean, I have never called him anything but Andrew, and he has chosen to write Andy on all of his papers because it is easier. The teacher says his sentence structure is ultra simple and does not reflect his abilities.

Of course, he needs more practice in Math. Time to go to work.

Stretched balloon

It seems like it has been a long time since I wrote, but looking at everyone else's blogs, I am at a fine pace. Kim is the best at it this week.

Yesterday we watched both sessions of General Conference. Our friends, Scott and Arren (Peachblossom) came over and watched with us. While the boys went to Preisthood meeting, Arren and I watched HGTV and like channels for the entire evening. We enjoyed it. (You have to kick the guys out if you want the remote.)

As nice as it was, I have a better appreciation for standing on my feet for long hours. Sitting all day just about killed me. My upper back hurt like crazy. There was nothing I could do to get comfortable. Then, when I stood up, the skin of my stomach felt like a fully inflated balloon that someone was still trying to put more air into. The baby had not moved much for two days, apparently because it is going through a growth spurt.

I am so short-waisted that I have, literally, two inches from the top of my hip to the bottom of my ribs. That does not leave a lot of interior room for a baby--therefore, my belly is way out. Besides that, it is trying to grow into my ribs. Yesterday I felt like my sternum was being separated to make room for a baby inside my ribcage. The child, according to week-by-week pregnancy sites, is only one pound. I have at least six more pounds to fit in there.

Despite the discomfort, I love being pregnant. There's something in my tummy. It is alive and it came from God. I am helping Him create it. Time for the last session of Conference.

Strong

Baby is getting so strong! I don't have people feel my belly, all they have to do is watch! My belly jumps.

Isaac had another strong game. They tied it up in the third quarter but they let the other team score in the last 9 seconds of the fourth, so they lost 16-22. Both teams had good defense, hence the low scores. Its funny that this is my blog and there is a weekly football feature.

Emylie and Claire and both expressing a strong interest in joining soccer somewhere. If they do, you will probably hear more about soccer from me that from MaryAnne.

It is nothing like Utah, here. Snow could happen in 3 months. We are having a strong indian summer. Fall comes and goes. I watched the game tonight with my face to the sun--again--in the heat. At least there was a steady breeze. Mike made it because Lexi didn't have a game tonight. It was nice to have him to lean on in the bleacher behind me. He's my strong man. Of course, he had to leave back to work after the game was over. I don't know if I will see him again tonight.

I am going to go help Andrew make some macaroni and cheese.

Today I lounged around in bed a little bit with my husband. Nice. Then I made brunch--bacon, eggs, pancakes. Then I was set to have my husband help me in the garage. He complains that he doesn't have a place to park his car, and he has a window that won't roll up the last inch or two, so I figured he would be motivated. I told him we only needed a half an hour and that I couldn't do it without him because of being in my "delicate condition." He whined like a little crybaby. He had his heart set on something else.

See, Tuesday this week, in case you hadn't heard, was the release of Halo 3. Mike bought it on Thursday at the Microsoft company store for half what everybody else paid because he has a friend who works there. He has had few hours to play because of his work schedule. Rather than getting up to help me, he handed me a second game controller. He taught me the night before how to play, but rather than shooting at him this afternoon, we shot at other things together. I saved his back, he saved mine. It was tender.

All the kids are with us this weekend. (They were watching TV while we were lounging this morning, and they were playing outside while we were killing things.) We took them to the Aquatic Center and let them play at the indoor pool. Then we went to the adjacent park for just a few minutes after that.

There in the park was one of the most elaborate birthday parties for young ones I have ever seen. A mother was dressed as Tinker Bell, and all the girls had fairy wings and skirts, while all of the boys had pirate hats and patches. They were organized on a painted tarp, which they left for a scavenger hunt. They all came back in an orderly fashion and ate pizza to be followed by cake. One of the things they ended up with from the treasure hunt was a "rock" (baked salt dough) filled with a jewel/ treasure. It was nearly inspiring.

Mike had to go into work this evening--again. I at least had a little chance to talk with him about our holiday travel plans. I was looking up hotels and ticket prices last night for our trip to Disney world. When I started planning the trip last year, I had intended to stay at the Disney accomodations. However, we have a friend with a time-share condo in FL, who can't use her week this year, and she offered to let us have the week, so I got my brain around that idea and was told that, as I expected, there were no availabilties for the holidays. That got me looking into other options, though, and the prospects are good--even without doing the priceline, name your price. I am really getting excited about the trip. If I keep saving at the rate I have been we will be able to go without any problem--except for the issue of being 9 months pregnant.

I am typing with my tired, chlorinated eyes closed. I wanted to look into some other planning stuff, but it will have to wait. Goodnight

First Win

Last night was Isaac's third game. The first one was a huge loss. The second one they lost by half as much. This game they won 6-22. I was glad to be there for it. I hate that I have to pay $9 for myself and the kids to get into it, but at least the school covers the full cost of uniforms, etc. I think Mike bought him some cleats and a cup, but that is the only expense besides paying the boosters for the game.

Mike would have been at the game, but he went to Lexi's game an hour away. She is cheerleading. She only has four games that she is cheering for, and this is the second one. I don't know whether or not they won, but I know Lexi did a good job.

I had to rush out of Isaac's game to get to Relief Society. I have not been very good at going to that lately, but I am trying more, and I am glad I did. The kids went to the church with me and played in the gym. One of the ladies complemented me on their unsupervised behavior. She saw them in the hall because she had to take out her crying baby.

Now it is time to make dinner before I have to take Isaac to scouts. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are my taxi days.

Two Weeks of Five Days

I am on my second week of five days of work in a row. I had gotten used to having a day or two off in the middle of the week. I really appreciate having time when the kids are not here to get things done. When I work all week that leaves me with no time when the kids are not here. Right now all I have time for is griping at the kids about doing homework and chores.

I guess I have just spent too many years as an at home mom. What I am doing now, though is only so we can go on our family vacation. Once that is over I will go back to being an at home mom. My income won't be missed because it is all going into savings right now. I will miss my discount, but I am saving up 20% off coupons to make up for it. In case you didn't know, we are trained to pay no attention to expiration dates on Bed Bath and Beyond coupons.

There is still a baby growing inside of me. I love that it is there, but I don't pay much attention to the reality of it. I did a baby journal for all of the others--some more than others. Maybe I have not had the reality dose of hearing the heartbeat and seeing the ultrasound to help me get into being pregnant.

Because the baby was so active lately, and I feel like my belly has gotten so huge lately, I was wondering if it might be twins. Mike's mom said it runs in her family every generation, except for hers. However, I was talking to Marianne at church who, herself is a twin, has had her ultrasound because of her own concerns. She is a couple of weeks different from me, and she is about the same size as me. Her ultrasound shows up single. I like the idea of having a double batch for the last one, but raising an only child will be an interesting experience.

Better go make the kids get their work done.

The Invisible Woman

Got this email today, and I thought of myself and a few other people who stop in here now and then.

It started to happen gradually. One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, "Who is that with you, young fella?" "Nobody," he shrugged. Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought,"Oh my goodness, nobody?"

Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We'd been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, "I'm ready to go when you are." He just kept right on talking.

Then I realized, I'm invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible.

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was >hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work.
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you
spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees." [I thought of the pioneer artisans of the 40- year building of the Salt Lake Temple.]

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great [temples]. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

I broke the 120 lb. mark today! My belly is getting noticeable enough that people are not afraid to ask about my pregnancy. Baby was moving all over the place last night.

I have not had nearly enough sleep lately. I can tell because the solution to everything is: rage about it. Yelling and screaming helps. Especially when there is someone to yell at. I have never been one to take it out on my husband, but my kids--and especially drivers of other cars--get the full blast. Really, I don't like it.

I called T-Mobile about my outrageous phone bill, and rather than yell at the lady, I started the conversation with "I'm in a really bad mood, so don't take it personally." She laughed and it ended up being a really enjoyable conversation. I have gotten a little irritable at my store manager when he has been in a bad mood, but I would never show that face to a customer. It is tragic that my children are the ones who are the outlet for my frustration. But to be honest, they are the source of much of it. However, so is my husband, but I don't go off on him. Why is that?

Oh, and I don't care what you think. I don't even like you any more. This blog is for me, not for anyone else. If you cared, you would make a freaking comment now and then. No, no, don't start now. You have had four posts to make a comment. 0 is the amount of concern I have for your input or opinion. Don't worry, I'm not going to stop commenting on your blog just because you can't take the time for mine. The piddly details of your life are no more interesting than mine. It is all stupid, mundane stuff we talk about, but this is MY life. If it doesn't matter to anyone else, it doesn't have to. It matters to me! Like I said, I'm not doing this for you. It is a record of my life, for my sake because I matter--to ME.

Today should be my day off, but the other girl had her baby last weekend, so I am getting more hours. For the first time I consented to work on a Saturday last weekend . I am working this morning, and I am late to get ready.

Third Blog This Morning

So, apart from Isaac's first football game, which we all went to and watched as a family (Matt even came, as he was in town working that day) and my new dryer, I have a baby in my tummy.

It has been resting for a few days through its growth spurt, but this morning there is a lot of activity. I finally started wearing the maternity clothes that Devanie gave me, but all of the pants are capri length, so I can't wear them to work without looking like a dork in my tennis shoes. IMO, only sandals or dress shoes should be worn with capris--stillettos are questionable depending on how tight the capris are and what message you want to convey.

So, I broke down and bought myself one pair of full-price maternity pants that fit me. I will wear them every day that I work for as long as I work as a pregnant woman. I absolutely love getting a good deal. I hate that there is no such thing as maternity clearance. Maternity clothes are function-driven, not fashion-driven, so there is no selection and no merchandizer motivation to move them out at discount prices. So I have to pay full price for clothes that I can only wear for six months.

I had bought two pair of size 6 jeans a few months ago for under $10 (total) for that in-between phase where maternity just didn't work, but neither did my old pants. The good news is, now that I am in maternity, I can buy at my original size and have all the other proportions where they belong.

Claire stayed home from school yesterday, because she had a bellyache. I usually don't go for that, but I just let her stay. Mike was happy to have an excuse to "work from home." He went in to work as soon as I got home, though, and still put in a full six hours.

It was Wednesday, so I took Isaac to scouts, and for the first time took the girls to Achievement days in this ward since they are with me for the week. They had a great time. I wish I could have Lexi in YW and Mikey in scouts too. Emylie will be in YW in Nov. Maybe we can get her Faith in God completed before then.

I think my washing machine has stopped. Time to go make use of my wonderful dryer.

Old News You Didn't Know

Remember my washer and dryer saga? Mike made the washing machine functional, which was great. I still can't do a full-size load of jeans without a failed spin cycle, but it works well--except for the mysterious leak I discovered when we cleared everything out of the laundry room.

Why did we clear out the laundry room? The 20-year old dryer our home teacher gave us was functional, but it snagged the clothes between the drum and base occasionally and left brown streaks. That was the problem I had with the previous dryer, except that they were much larger black streaks until it swallowed a sock and would not turn anymore. Well, the home-teacher dryer just stopped heating alltogether.

So, two weeks ago, rather than beat a dead horse, we went to the Sears Outlet and found a good deal on a scratch and ding dryer. It is a Kenmore Elite Oasis. The cheapest, bare bones dryer we could buy was $325. It was a no-name, moderate capacity, two-button, tiny opening dryer that had no appeal other than price. For $70 more, we got electronic programming and customizable functions with a mega capacity and huge front-load opening. As it is nearly an $800 dryer, we got it for 50% off. That's the way I roll.

Fall and Football

Did I tell you Isaac signed up for football this year. In 7th and 8th grades if you take athletics, they are able to participate in intramural competitive sports. Isaac got the class this year--which Mike really wanted him to take last year. Because of Mike's encouragement, he has shifted his opinion of the sport and is now developing those skills.

Because of the size of the classes, and the policy of no one getting cut, they have two teams, the A team and the B team. Isaac is a receiver on the B Team. They had their first game on Tuesday. He got a little game time and was able to hold his own. They lost 30-0. Isaac was consoled by the fact that the A Team, which played after his game lost 60-0. I guess our team has a lot of work to do.

Tuesday the weather was perfect for a first football game. The morning started out nearly cold (in relative terms. It actually felt like fall. The rest of the day was very moderate and there was a cool breeze during the game that almost made up for the glaring sun as the bleachers we were on faced directly west. Today is supposed to be back to the 90's, though, so fall is just teasing us.

P.S.

Hey all, Mike has updated his blog again, but it is not merely an update. He is writing a novel and posting it for your pleasure. He will be far more motivated to continue with it if he knows you are anticipating the next installment by posting your comments on what he has written thus far. Click on My Husband Mike on the right.

I Hate School

The kids are enjoying their new school and doing really well. I am happy for them, and I love learning and encourage them to do it. Still, I hate school. Every day there is another note for $5 for this or $10 for that, and we need $15 for another thing. As if my neighbors and landlord don't pay enough taxes to cover that! Just kidding--kind of.

Then there are planners and notes to sign and homework to follow through with and check up on. Then the short time that is left of the evening, after I have taken the time to make a decent dinner, is just enough to exert all my remaining energy to hound the kids about completing their chores. We have time to read scripture and say prayer (usually) and go to bed in order to get the needed full night's sleep. Of course, it wouldn't be any big deal if they would just do their homework, eat their dinner and finish their chores, but they do not.

I have to admit, though, that having the children properly trained to do chores has been a significant relief to me. I do not do dishes--except the weekends when the kids aren't here. It is then I miss them most. It is impossible for one woman to work part time, as I do and maintain a civilized home by herself. But it really is a blessing to have children who are old enough to fully participate in house care and be held responsible for its success (to my standards).

I am most excited with Isaac's progress this year. They gave him Pre-Athletics during 7th period, which qualifies him to participate in whatever competitive sports they are focusing on for the season. Isaac opted to sign up for an additional hour of "P.E." in the form of football practice. Because he is still small (though he has grown so much these past months that his Sunday clothes look funny on him) he is a receiver. There is a fascinating growth in his maturity since school started. His voice is cracking as well.

Since I am falling asleep, I leave you here.

Growing Pains

I did not realize how much space the baby is taking up until today when at work, I got a jab in my ribs. It was a hurt I am very familiar with. The baby was just stretching into new territory. I had to push down on it to make it get out of there. I am sure it will happen many more times, but this was a first. I just hadn't realized it had already grown that much. My belly is sticking out a little, but my U is well past my belly button and up to my ribs. Granted, with as short waisted as I am, it is not hard to reach that height. I am solidly 118 lbs now. In my daily fluctuations I have not gotten over 119.5. My body fat ranges from 19-23%, depending on how hydrated I am.

Time to make dinner

Raging H

I am grumpy. Grumpy, Grumpy, GRUMPY.

And it feels good! Nobody likes being around me, but MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND THEM! (Pause for maniacal laughter followed by a leak of hysterical tears.)

Don't be concerned. It will not harm you.
It's only me pursuing something I'm not sure of...
I chase the bright, illusive butterfly of love.

(More disturbed laughter knowing that so few people will get that joke. It is private--for me.)

My bloodstream is an intricate roller coaster of hormones. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a girl. I remember feeling this out of control when I was pregnant with Claire. I wouldn't be surprised either if it was a boy because that is the only other choice. Isn't it?

I have a wonderful baby growing inside of me. It moves a lot and its movements are getting stronger, though no one wants to keep their hand on my belly long enough to feel it. I am so happy to be pregnant. It is such an amazing, wonderful thing. At 18 weeks people are starting to notice that I am pregnant, but not everyone. We had a ward pool party last night. One of our friends commented on how "perfect" my figure was and was surprised to find out I was pregnant. There was one or two others who had a similar reaction. Me, I feel huge. I think people don't notice my stomach because my bazonkas are getting proportionally huge to my belly growth, so the attention is still higher up. I must say, my new haircut does accentuate my magnificent, slender neck and shoulder line, further drawing attention away from my hips and belly. I look forward to being out of this in-between phase, though, and looking unmistakably pregnant.

Bronco Bash

Last night we went to the middle school Bronco Bash. Mike was not able to go because he had preisthood meeting, but he couldn't go to that because someone was moving in the ward and needed help. He was torn about which to go to. I said something about Brigham Young and "go get the wagons or your religion is vain." But he got a box each of Dots, Mike N Ikes, and Hot Tamales, which the men who went to preisthood did not get.

So I chased four kids around an absolute madhouse. But they enjoyed the bouncies and the velcro wall/suit and watching the dunking booth. There was a band in the cafetorium, but not too many of the kids were into that because it was a bunch of old fat guys.

Hello School

The kids are all in school. It has been a year since I woke them all up with my soft voice and kisses to get them off to school. They are used to being at their dad's so they did everything themselves, including get breakfast. We tried to come up with something for lunches, but I really need to do some shopping. It is so nice to have them with me and feel like a full-fledged mom again.

I took Andrew and Claire in to their new school, found out who their teachers were, and showed them their rooms before most anyone else was there because we were not able to go to Meet the teacher night. Andrew has a male teacher, Mr. Wu. I did not get to meet him because he was not there yet. When I told Andrew that his teacher's name was MISTER Wu, he smiled. Like he was excited to be taught by one of his own kind. That should be good for him. Claire's room is just upstairs from his.

Isaac was all set for class. I don't know what his schedule is, but I know he got computer lab for his first class. I am really pleased with that. Emylie, on the other hand, had not been fully registered because the office staff was in meetings all Thursday and Friday. She missed her whole first period class while the tried to get her schedule worked out. She was not able to get PE, but she does have Pre-AP math and English, regular science and social studies, and most importantly, Art. She did not really want a music class, but she ended up getting choir. She was actually excited about that, though because her friend, Megan from church has choir too. I hope they make Emylie an alto. She will do really well with that.

She went to school with no intention of concealing her bald spots, which are quite pronounced. She said she didn't want to hide it, so she wouldn't have to deal with a bunch of questions later. She would rather get it all out of the way right now. She's gutsy.

Oh, when I picked the kids up on Saturday morning and they all saw my hair, the first thing Andrew said is: "She looks sort of like a goth girl." I said: " know, that's why I painted my toes so dark." Crazy kid.

Goodbye Summer

Now that the temperatures are up to Texas normal, summer vacation is nearly over. It has been a long, wonderful summer. Because of a Texas legislation changing the time when school could start, we had two extra weeks of summer. This will go on record as the longest summer vacation my children will have--until that inevitable one puts off going to college in the fall for whatever reason.

I got the kids registered in their new schools yesterday, though there are many details to wrap up. Claire and Andre will be going to the same elementary school. Emylie and Isaac will be going to the same middle school. Claire said she is kind of excited to go back to school, and she doesn't even care that it's a new school. Emylie, on the other hand is having horrible separation anxiety from her friends. The funny part is, she is the only one who already has a really good friend in the ward who will be going to school with her. Her issue is not really finding new friends, it's leaving the old ones, and she is worried about being disloyal to her friends by liking the new ones better. She is stressing herself out and her bald spots are much worse now. We are worried about her.

Speaking of hair, seeing as I am pregnant, and I knew I would be cutting my hair, and had decided how I would do it, I decided not to wait until the late trimester to shock everyone with my new look. I did it myself, of course. I would put up a picture, but I don't have time before I go to work.

Let's Go to the Mall

In honor of the Texas tax holiday, I spent my entire kids' school budget for school clothes and supplies (plus a little more) over the weekend. I had a really great time, I got good deals and lots of stuff for the kids. They should be set for a while.

Mikey and Lexi were here over the weekend. Lexi and I went early to the stores before the crowds picked through the clearance racks. Mike and Mikey met us for lunch. Lexi and I had a great time trying on clothes and looking for deals.

After we were done with our shopping, we went to the Aquatics center and swam for a couple of hours before it closed. It was a long full day. Friday was pretty packed for me as well. I woke up at 5:30, got to the stores by 7 and in two hours had the majority of their school supplies and wardrobe before I had to be to work at 9. Then I drove an hour+ in traffic to pick up M and L. On the way back we stopped at the Galleria mall. I had never been there. It is definitely a more upscale mall. Still we were able to find 3 dresses for $30 at Limited Too. This is really an awesome city to shop in.

In keeping with the theme, I wanted to share a video. It is from How I Met Your Mother, which Mike and I have grown quite fond of. Robin Sparkles is a Canadian teen pop star from decades gone by. One of the cast manages to dig it up. Do a google search for How I Met Your Mother slap bet to watch the full episode. In the meantime, enjoy this video of Let's Go To the Mall with Robin Sparkles

Numbers

104 is the number I am thinking of. It goes with 76% I am talking about temperature and humidity. Texas can be a miserable place. I am not looking forward to my electric bill, I'll tell you that. Until last week it has actually been a very mild summer. We had not had a day over 100 degrees all summer, and we have had a fair bit of rain. It is supposed to rain today and temperatures are supposed to cool off.

The next number I am thinking of is 2.54. That is how much I paid per gallon to fill up my tank yesterday. Race Trac is cheap gas, but Exxon is only 2 cents more. In other parts of town the average is closer to $2.65. So there are some advantages to living in Texas.

The final number I am thinking of is 16. That is how many weeks pregnant I am. If I were to go to the doctor and get an ultrasound, the sex of the baby could be determined. My belly has exploded, but certainly not enough that I am obviously pregnant to the general public. Yesterday I weiged in at 115, but this morning I am 117.5, which suprises me. I doubt that more than 116 of that is solid gain.

I went swimming with my husband and our friends Scott and Arren for two nights this week. That little bit of physical activity has really helped boost my energy levels. I am working up to actually being able to exercise.

Couple Time

I was excited about having a whole week without the kids and told my husband that we were going to do something and go somewhere every night, because these last weeks before school starts will be the last that we have since the kids will be with us during the school year.

Instead, Mike got called into work most nights because the network or yada yada was down. He was up until midnight for three nights in a row. The good news is, he is paid hourly, not salary. He is also able to initiate whatever needs to be done at the office and then monitor it from home.

One of those nights we went to a movie before he had to go in. It was a pre-release screening that we got tickets to because Mike's friend works at a local radio station. The movie was horrible, with no redeeming value. There were a lot of bar and party sceenes. About 1/3 of the way through, a guy sat right next to me--when there were 3 other seats before the aisle--who smelled very strongly of alchohol and cigar. I thought the movie was suddenly in smell-o-vision. I felt like I was there and it gave me a major headache. The guy kept leaning into my space and trying to engage conversationally. I was virtually sitting on Mike's lap and breathing his shoulder to avoid the creep. I leaned over and said something about it to Mike and his friend when the movie was over. Mike's friend said, "be nice, he's my business partner." Ugh! I left in a bad mood. It was a super bad movie with a terrible environment The rest of the nights I was alone.

I was excited about having all day Saturday with my husband, but while I was at Target shopping for a swimsuit (since I had gotten a $50 Target gift card from my electric company for enrolling in one of their special programs) Mike got a call from the same abovementioned friend who reminded him that the Rush concert was that night and if he could help the radio station work their booth from 4:30 to concert time he could swing a worker's pass for him to get into the concert. One ticket was all they had to offer.

I did not have the heart to keep him from seeing one of his favorite bands, so I was alone for the night, yet again. I could not even call anyone while I was by myself because my purse was stolen on Friday and I had no cell phone, and my newly installed home phone had been left off the charger the day before. Mike gets emails on his phone, so I was able to write him on the computer and do a sort of impromptu IM. By intermission the phone had enough juice for him to call and talk to me for a minute. He was sweet.

We have no kids again this week. Maybe it will be better this time.

Eeet's Aliiive!

There's something in my tummy. It is starting to move--not enough that anyone else can feel it, and not enough to be easily distinguished from intestinal gas--but it is my baby and it is alive.

Today is my day off, and I just got done coloring my hair. I got it just right this time. It is the same color as my nieces'. I left the light streaks at my temples out of the color for a really natural highlighted look. I often trim it just after coloring it, but I don't think I will this time. I am just letting it grow until I get my late-pregnancy whack. I haven't done a major chop since my divorce three years ago.

I am not liking my job at all now. I got to use a little creativity and help customers in a meaningful way when I was out on the floor. Being stuck behind the register all day really, really stinks. The customers are fine. The people I work with are fine. Doing the same thing over and over is for monkeys. But I am not even that good at it. If I was interested by working with money and computing machines, I could work at a bank--and probably get paid a little better.

I am not one to complain, but most of all, I am not one to spend a lot of time on things that don't interest or challenge me. I think I could probably make better use of my time by employing myself with the skills I have been trained in for years, like music and dance. We'll see.

I Feel Fat

Saturday I took Emylie and Lexi to the mall because this week is Lexi's birthday--and school will be starting soon. We had a good time, but it is a huge mall and I was worn out half-way through. I could feel my ligaments stretching under its new weight and I felt so fat. This morning I broke the 114 lb barrier, and I did not even eat a major meal the night before to account for the weight.

In fact I did not have nearly enough to eat yesterday. We got back from the mall at 2:00 and ate lunch. Mike had been working with a friend all day on replacing the timing belt in his BMW (yeah, Dove, he's a beemer guy : ) ). They were in the reconstruction stage and their big fat hands were not working to get a little piece screwed back on to the flywheel since the fan blade was in the way, so they requested my petite dexterity. My hands got good and black.

Then I took the kids to the Aquatic center, which is a really cool community pool. It has a couple of waterslides and a big waterworks wading pool. It is a full rec center as well. We went ahead and got a membership like we have wanted to do for over a year now. It has a weight room, etc. as well. The kids had a great time. It was all in the name of Lexi's birthday.

Then, she wanted Mexican, so I made chicken enchiladas, fixins for soft and hard tacos, as well as taco salad. I had the kids help with that a little bit. I also needed to make a cake. Our friends Scott and Arren came over because it just isn't a party without them. Megan, the other girl in the girls' primary class came as well. She had been at the pool too.

It made for a really long day. Mike sweat it out in the garage all day, but got the project all done with no glitches. He was wiped out. I was no better.

This morning as I was getting ready for church--the 8:30 meeting--I was still ridiculously fatigued. Raising my arms to put on my makeup felt like I was doing a total muscle failure workout--to say nothing of curling my hair. Then it occurred to me that my thyroid might be whacking out--probably not, I have not noticed any hair loss. I just did too much yesterday and I am still recovering.

Sorry, no pictures. I don't even think about that anymore. Sad.

Back to Work

I have had two days back at Bed Bath and Beyond. I am no longer the towel lady because I trained my replacement well. Instead I work all day long at the customer service desk. The days are longer when you are in one place. Even if it is pretty busy.

My old pants (required uniform) barely fit, and I only have one decent belt that I can wear over my little poochy. Poor smooshed baby. The hardest part about the whole thing is that they do not give me a lunch during my 9-3 six-hour shift, and because I have to man the front the whole time, breaks are not scheduled. A second person often comes in in the afternoon, so that I can at least go to the bathroom and eat a banana or breakfast bar.

I told them I would be there through Christmas, but I don't know how I will do. Tuesday was better than Monday--in a way, so maybe it will keep getting better.

At fourteen weeks, the baby's movement becomes noticeable. Maybe I have felt something, but I have also had a lot of gas.

I had a dream last night about breast feeding, which I think I have done once before already and it was a girl both times. It is the boy's name I have picked out, though--not that I have even mentioned it to Mike. Of course, it doesn't matter what I have, it is going to upset the balance of the sexes. Either way, the child will be too young to be a playmate with any sibs. The boys are currently the youngest, so that might be better, but with the span that already exists, I don't think it will matter. There will be a nearly 8 year difference with Andrew, 9 with Mikey, 10 with Claire. By the time the baby is Andrew's age, Claire will be graduated from High school. Isaac may get back from his mission about the time the child is baptized.

I have today off, so it is time to go hang out with the kids.

Birthday

MaryAnne is on the east coast and was first to call. Made me smile. Mom followed. A little later Devanie called and that was interrupted by Thomas. I also got an e-card from Dove in my email. This morning I got a message from Molly that she left after 10pm. I must not have heard the phone because I was watching a movie. I felt loved.

Mike, who has been coming home from work between 6 and 7 got off at 4. We had a $50 gift certificate from a friend for an Italian resturant in the fancy part of Dallas. It was a wonderful meal. I don't know if I have ever had service as good as they had there. My absolute favorite part was dessert--Spumoni ice cream. It is a tri-color ice cream pink (red), white, and green (as in the colors of the Italian flag). Cherry with marachino halves, vanilla, and the most amazing pistacio I have ever tasted.

We stopped at the store on the way home and bought me a necklace and earring set. Then I went to blockbuster to pick a movie. I ended up with Dream Girls. It was a good movie, but it was too long. Mike got really irritated with it because of the drawn out musical numbers. He is also not a fan of Black wailing (not to be confused with black whaling).

Being 35 means as little to me as being 25. The years go by, each one much the same as the other. We'll see, though how different having a baby is at 35 than it is at 25. Speakin' a which, I finally have firm little pooch that can't be sucked in. I get some occasional ligament discomfort between my hips and belly and I have to be even more careful when I sneeze--not just so I don't pee my pants, but the strain on my c-section scar is creating additional discomfort if I don't lean forward before I sneeze. It is all very minor, but being pregnant is becoming a noticable reality--even though according to growth stats, the baby is only about 3 inches long "the size of a large jumbo shrimp." I am 13 weeks along, which means I have only one more week of my first trimester. I used an online calculator and it says January 29th--the way I run, it will be on or after Amber's birthday. I majorly miscalculated, though, because I was thinking it would be at the end of February or beginning of March. I think that is because I counted from estimated conception, rather than first of last.

O! Pioneers

Today is July 25th. Yesterday was Pioneer day. Kim is talking about sewing pioneer clothes for treks, Devanie is talking about Pioneer costumes and I have not managed to tell anybody that last week I made 8 pioneer bonnets and four aprons. I have 5 more bonnets cut out to sew, but I ran out of the elastic I need for the back. Mike's parents own a store in Far West Missouri and they can't keep those bonnets on the shelf. They are super-sellers. They even jacked up the prices to slow things down, but she has been out of them for a month and the people who say they are going to sew them don't seem to. Sew I took it upon myself. They will be getting their first shipment from me tomorrow.

Mike's dad called me this morning to ask what I wanted to sell them for. I said that was up to them. I just used fabric that I bought at Wal-Mart for $1 a yard that I have had sitting around forever, so my expenses are absolutely minimal. When they sell, they will give me half. Anybody else up for sewing bonnets and aprons?

Of course, now that my daughters have seen that I can make them, they want one for themselves. Andrew enjoyed trying them on for me so I could check their size and shape on the child's size head they were being made for. He looked so cute in his bonnet and apron. I thought of Thomas.

Book Mania

You other bloggers and your Harry Potter this, Harry Potter that, blah, blah blah! : ) I love the books, but I haven't gotten around to reading The Half-Blood Prince, let alone Deathly Hallows. I bought half-blood when it came out in hardbound for the kids, but have not made reading a priority these past years.

Emylie went with a friend to the Barnes & Noble release party and was there until after midnight. She had a great time, and I am happy for her. She did not get the book because she is hung up on the Warrior series right now. Devanie gave her a gift certificate that she was able to buy the rest of the series she didn't have. Then she bought me the most recent in a series I have been reading since I was pregnant with Isaac. The 11th book in Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time has been out in paperback for over a year, and I never got around to reading it. Mike has read the rest of the series as well, so rather than fight over who gets to read it first--or when, I have been reading it to him. That is how we spend all of our time together lately. We will finnish the last three chapters tonight. I have really enjoyed the experience--837 pages of mouth-numbing, throat-parching fun. We stay up too late reading "just one more chapter." To me, it is better than watching a movie together.

I don't know if he has read the Half-Blood Prince yet, but if not, we may do that next. Forget books on cd, we do live books!

Something more solid

We finally have a more definite view of our future. Mike has a job. I would put exclamations and stuff like that, but I still have reservations about the reality of it until he gets his first paycheck. He has successfully completed one week of work. It is a six-month contract position with the potential of becoming a full position with the company. I do not even know the name of the company or what they do. I know he is to be paid $29 an hour doing some sort of Network administrator-type thing. They issued him a laptop, and though he can access the server and do some work from home, most of his work is on-site.

On-site includes a few different locations, all of which are within 15 minutes of our house--in the same place he was working before, which is why we moved to this side of town in the first place. Therefore, we will not moving out of this area. Therefore, the kids will start school in here on August 27th. We would like to get a 3 bdrm house where the rooms actually fit the childrens' beds AND allow the closets to open. We might even get rooms big enough to walk between the beds, but I don't know. I would wonder if it would be worth the hassle of moving, but we are already halfway packed. Either way, we are staying in this area.

I went to Bed Bath and Beyond today and got my old job back. Rather than folding towels, though, I will be working at the customer service desk. Mike's job will more than cover our expenses, but I want to have a special savings account, and that is all my paycheck will be for--except maybe purchasing a few more household items at employee discount.

Back

It was so nice to see everyone last week. I have to admit I was in a really grumpy place. I think I didn't have enough to eat on a pregnant stomach--especially on Lagoon day. It made me nasty.

Big thanks to Devanie for everything. Thanks to Lee Joe and Kim as well as MaryAnne and, of course, mom and dad, without all of whom, I would not have been able to be part of it all. The kids had a wonderful time. It had been five years since they had seen Molly's kids. Memories with cousins are so important.

After everyone left, we met some of Mike's family on Monday at Temple Square. The kids actually enjoyed that a lot. Claire would have talked to one of the sister missionaries for an hour if I had let her. She told me she was shy about asking her a question, and I told her that the missionary would love to answer any questions she had. I wouldn't be suprised if Claire ended up serving a mission. When we got home, I notice there was an article in the July Ensign about the Temple Square sister missionaries and had her read it.

Tuesday, though, was my favorite day of the trip because I got to go to the temple with my husband for the first time. Now that he is endowed, we can move forward so that our marriage will be sealed for eternity. I really wanted to do it where family would be able to participate, but we may end up doing it in Dallas, where we can at least have friends there. We would like the baby to be born in the covenant, so doing it before February is the goal, but also doing it before I am especially bulky is a nice thought. It will take at least six weeks to clear my previous sealing.

Mike and I went to the temple together this morning--on his initiative. It is really a wonderful feeling to share that with him. I have a feeling he will want to go back again and again. He is out right now putting in job applications for basic retail jobs so we have something between now and whenever he gets a more ideal job. It will probably end up that as soon as he gets an 8.50/hr job and works a day or two, he will have to give it up for one of the jobs he has been waiting for. Of course, he is currently applying at Golf stores and may be reluctant to leave before even qualifying for employee discounts.

We talked today, though about maintaining focus with his business project because we feel like that is what we are really supposed to be doing. Sunday after Kim and Lee Joe left, we went to Heber City to see one of Mike's distant cousins, Van and his wife, Heidi, in their lavishly modest home on 5 acres. Van is an investor. We talked to him in some detail about Mike's business project, to which he responded enthusiastically. I guess Mike started a business a few years ago that Van helped him on the capital with, which he sold a short time later for, like, five or six million dollars. (I'm here to help the man keep the money he makes.)

The kids got along great with their five and Emylie came home with some books that she has gotten really excited about. It is the Warrior series, which I know nothing about. Devanie gave her a Barnes and Noble gift card that she was able to use to complete the series. She is excited.

I had written another posting on Devanie's computer, but it probably got deleted before I could post it. It it is still sitting on your desktop, feel free to post it, Dev.

Simple Math

What is the maximum capacity of a midsize van/SUV? 8
How many does a large dining table seat comfortably? 8
What do you get when you add [(1+4)+(1+2)]+1?
More than you can fit in an 8 passenger van.

What do you get when you have 2 lines in a 1st Response test? A big belly.
I haven't told the kids yet. I know they will all be thrilled. Maybe the youngest two boys won't be, but I think they will.

So far, that is the only thing I know about my future. We are still planning on being at the reunion.

Mikey is getting baptized today and G-ma and -pa Skembo are here to be part of it.

I had a garage sale yesterday and came up with $150 more than I had, and a little less bulk to find somewhere to put. It was a great day for a garage sale, but we are in a lousy location. We wanted to start it on Friday night, but it rained for exactly 20 minutes. Just enough to deter us and any potential buyers.


Janika out.

One Year

I have been married for one full year. It is nothing short of a miracle. It has been a bumpy ride. Matt and I never went through anything like this. We always had a steady income--and consistent wastefullness. We rarely disagreed (out loud). We always knew what was coming next. Maybe that is why it didn't last. Our relationship was safe and eventless. Our trials were minimal. Yes there were military separations, but I liked those. It may be that adversity is key to a lasting and successful marriage.

Sunday was Father's day, and our anniversary. Nothing worked out the way we wanted it to all weekend. We got Lexi and Mikey back to their mom in the late afternoon and sat down for some alone time. His home teaching companion called and said that one of the ladies on his route was escaping from her ex-husband who found out where she lived--again--and was beating her up.

We did manage to take some time for each other. I do love being in my honey's arms. We didn't give each other a single, tangible thing. I didn't even make a nice dinner for us. We had leftovers. Mike loved it even better last night than he did the night before. We had some sparkling red grape juice that I had bought last month for a picinic that never happened on account of rain.

Our projected June 15th miracle has results yet to be determined. We had actually set a date last month, but were not as specific about it as we thought we needed to be. But both 15th's produced the same results. I will not discuss them because I have noticed that every time I post something positive or talk about it, it falls through. Suffice to say, we have no job and no money--only hope. But we do have hope--that's something.

Being with my kids

I love having my kids around. I was grumpy at them yesterday and/because I never did anything with them but it is so wonderful to have them around. We did watch a movie last night. All the kids had seen Over the Hedge, but we hadn't. I slept through the middle of it, so I missed what Mike said was the best part. Then we read scriptures together, which we have done every night that the kids have been here. Mike and I are better at remembering when it is not just for us we have to remember.

The day before, I spent a few hours online with the kids. Separate rooms, same world...of Warcraft. Emylie and Claire created a new character on their dad's accout on my realm (shadow council) so that we could play together. I am a gnome mage and level 22. I helped them kill things and complete quests and managed to help them get to level 7. Claire freaked out because I took her to Shimmer Ridge where the trolls are level 9 when she was level 5. I told her all she had to do was stay back and loot corpses. She got the shimmerweed she needed for her quest, but she didn't want to play after that. She did die once, but when I was going through that area for the first time, I was a level 10 and got myself killed about 20 times.

Yes, you are still reading Janika's blog. I have thrown away 3 days, one hour and 18 minutes of my life for a game--and I'm not finnished. One of our visiting managers talked to me at length on my last day of work because she plays too. Everybody was laughing at us all day, because neither of us seem like the type of people who would do that. It is my husband's fault. He made me make a character. I like that I can play with the kids, even though this week was the first time I had, but we have been able to talk about it together for months.

It is too hot in TX to spend much time outside in the summer unless you have easy access to a pool. So we will play World of Warcraft.

I did a little family history work yesterday because dad asked a question about some of the information I had sent him. There was a big mistake somewhere and I had to fix it. I will be going to the temple today for the Stake Relief Society trip and do some family names--maybe they will do some of the ones I have as well. Tomorrow I will probably go again, and a couple of my guy friends from the ward are going to do the inititories on the male names that dad sent for whom Isaac and the youth here did the baptisms.

Summer plans

We are still unclear on a lot of what will be happening for the summer. We are 5 days away from a miracle and are anxious to see the results of it. This much we know:

In the next two weeks, I will be packing up my house and leaving it. Mike will be moving into a local appartment so that he can work at his new job (whatever it may be) and develop his business project. I will take all 6 kids up to Missouri, where we will meet my mom and stay in her new house in Hardin and help fix it up if needed. Of course, it is only 30 min-1hr from Far West where Mike's parents live. we will be there two weeks. I will leave Mikey and Lexi to stay as long as they and Grandmas S want. July 3rd, Mom and I will go to Utah together from there with the other kids. I'm not exactly sure what will happen from there. I want to go to Nevada to visit as well.

When I have done all of that I can, I will go back to MO to let the kids run around wild on 5 and 40 acres until the end of July. Then, Matt had planned to take the kids to Branson this summer, so rather than take them all the way back to TX, I can meet him there.

In the meantime, Mike will be working and finding a place for us to live on the eastern side of Dallas (we are on the west now) so we can be closer to Lexi and Mikey and be able to see them more often, as well as allow them to be involved in weekday church activities. It will also be closer for getting to Matt, and he wants to move to eastern Dallas himself. He will not move for about a year, but we will all be one, big, happy, centrally located family. Won't that be nice?

Isaac is back from scout camp, the other three kids are here, and I had my last day of work on Friday. It feels like home again. But now I have two weeks to pack it up and get out of here.