Janika's Family

I'm So Alone! Wrist to Forehead

2011-07-17T16:42:00.002-05:00

Thank goodness Mike is not working out of town any more because I am going on the third week without the older kids here. With me, the twins, and the dog home all day long they get stir crazy. They like having more people here to play with and break up the monotony.

The dog really misses her kids. Did I say how we got a puppy a few months ago? The babies named her Tinkerbell because Mike said they got to name her and that was the last movie they had watched. She is a really great dog. She is fully housebroken and a little bit kennel trained. I have not read anything about dog training and I am the only one here to consistently do anything with the dog. So I am proud of myself--especially since I never wanted one more thing to do. And yet I did it and she is great--except for the stinking chewing thing. She's half lab. Did I expect any less? The other half is Australian Shepherd. She is so stinking needy. She has to be close to me, and if I am not petting her or resting my foot on her she barks at me or goes off and chews something. I wish I did not love living things.

The reason I am focusing on this is because she is barking at me right now. Since I saw Marissa's dog say "I love you" I have been barking that at her and she is learning it.

My point here was that is is really nice that the kids time with their dad coincided Mike getting full time (non-contract) employment and coming back to the Dallas office so he can be here in the evenings. Because otherwise the babies and I would be driving each other batty--we are still on the edge of that. It is just lonely without a house full of crazy.

We got a babysitter on Friday so we could watch Harry Potter (Deathly Hallows Pt II for posterity). A couple of weeks ago we got the 15 disc blue ray release of the super extended version of Lord of the Rings. Each of the three movies takes two discs just to watch the movie. Then there are three more bonus feature discs for each one. We have not even touched those yet. It took us most of the week to get through just the movies.

That's all I've got for now. It's something, anyway.

Granny Leavitt (Dora Darthella Downs)

2011-05-25T23:07:00.002-05:00

Granny Leavitt died today. We got the warning that she was deteriorating quickly two days ago. Tragically, I was thinking last week that it had been a while since we had heard anything from Grandma and that I should get everybody to call her. I did not. So, as always, the greatest lesson in death is to use the moments we have for the things that matter most.

When I was 6, my Grandma Lay died, my Great Grandpa Downs died, and my cat Boregard died. Before I had the capacity to grieve I was taught that there was no reason to. I would be able to see them all again in heaven, and they were happier now than they had been. The sad part was how much we would miss them. I have no specific memory of my great grandfather so I do not know how often I saw him, but I saw my Grandma Lay once a year when we visited her and one or two times when she came to visit us. They often came on Halloween (Nevada Day parade) or Christmas. So, though I would miss those events, they were not a part of my daily life so there was not that much to miss. Since then I have viewed death in terms of the loss associated with missing someone. I have never felt much loss because no one who has been a daily part of my life has died. Sharon Palmer and Charlotte Soukoup are the closest people to me that I have lost, but by the time they passed, I had not seen them for a long time so there was no future to miss.

This is the distinction. As a child--and up until now I have seen the grief or the sadness of it as a lost future. But I now see that the real tragedy is in all the moments I could have better spent with them. All the opportunities to show my love and appreciation that I excused. All the relationship that was never built. The part of me I lost by not sharing it with those I love. So I am left with the memories I did build and the love I did share, made all the more precious by their rarity.

So here is what I remember of my grandmother. More than anything, I remember Hannah, Wyoming where the seven of us Lay children stayed for six weeks. I turned 12 that summer. I helped grandma make Tang for Grandpa and helped her pack his lunches for the night shift with Carbon County Coal Company. Many of our dinners included home-frozen corn from plastic bags that I heated in the microwave. She found clothes for Devanie and the twins at a garage sale. Many nights I would stay up late with her and watch (I'm pretty sure it was) Johnny Carson while Grandpa was at work. My mom was mad that she had let me do that because I had dark circles under my eyes when she picked us up.

I was the first granddaughter, after Grandma had had my mom and then her six boys she anxious for a darling little girl and I finally came. I held a special place in her heart. But I did not understand her love and concern for me when I overheard her telling my mom how she needed to teach me to control myself. As an insecure newly teen it was a devastating disillusion to find that I was not adored by my dear grandmother from every angle. I allowed that to create a rift in our relationship. Even years later when I had the opportunity to heal the rift, I concealed the pain and kept it for my own.

When Grandpa died Grandma Leavitt carried herself with strength and dignity through the funeral flurry. That night when everyone had gone to their rooms and the lights were out we finally heard her pain. Her voice sounded like my mother's. I ran out to comfort her, but when I saw that my mom was already there to comfort her own mother, I let them be. I have heard that same sob choked out of my own throat. The same voice of the generations that has graced our chapels with beloved hymns has cried to God in our secret places and our darkest moments.

Grandma had lost the precious love of her life. She had little desire to live without him. Still, strength and dignity won. She found and acted upon her own personal purpose as she chose to serve the mission they had planned on serving together--even before the General Authorities so actively promoted senior missions. She forged herself into another binding link in generations of faithful women of God.

Because of the limited amount of time I spent with her, the thing I know best about her is the absolutely incredible woman she produced in my mother, Randa. I do not mean to minimize Darthella's sons. They are men of strength and distinction who bring honor to the name of their parents. But it is the daily observation of my own mother that teaches me who her mother was, and who I can become.

Despite the love I missed from Grandma Leavitt of my own neglect, and despite the loss of future opportunities for her and I to strengthen each other, I know that death is the reminder of the value of life. By the time I leave this life, will I have lived as faithfully and loved as fully as time and the very best that is in me has allowed? There is time to be better. I am needed. And I need my family to know that I need them today and into eternity. My heart would be so empty without them and without knowing that they are forever mine.

I am so very happy for Grandma to be reunited with her precious Jack. The joy they share as he acknowledges his pride in her for enduring without him. The sweet fulfillment of knowing there is nothing more for either of them to endure--except to see their children endure. But in their love and anxiety for us they now work again, side by side. How blessed we are. And how great is their joy.

Identical but Distinct

2011-05-22T14:31:00.002-05:00

My babies are three and a half. I miss the days of infancy, but I adore the little people they are becoming. While their personalities are not "totally different" each is a very distinct person.

Amelia gets a little more excited about the rock songs that come on the radio--she gets more excited about recognizing a song period. But when I look in the rear-view mirror, it is precious to see them turn to each other and smile in recognition of a song and then start feeding each others excitement about it.

Anastasia is a storyteller. She has a fantastic memory. She will talk to people for--as long as they will listen--and tell them about characters from a movie she recently watched--and she has an exceptional grasp of character motivation and the meaning of actions. She will tell memories of time she spent with her cousins or anything you want to know about her dog, brothers, sisters, how she dunked her head under water when she went swimming last summer, about her best friends (who are actually Claire's best friends) and she will even make stuff up about them.

She talks so much because she is a super attentive listener. Words and sounds are her world. She will name things according to the sound they make. Sunday shoes have harder soles and make more noise. The rest of us have learned to call that sound clicking or clunking. She calls her Sunday shoes her kirk shoes. I can't think of any other sound words she has made up, but she regularly does that if she has not learned the right word for what she is trying to describe.

Amelia loves movement. While it has taken a long time to get Anastasia to stop freaking out on the swings, Amelia has loved it and always wants to go higher. She loves to do puzzles and is good at seeing the little picture parts in the pieces to know where they go. She has also decided lately that she does not want to wear dresses all the time like Anastasia does. I think Amelia is a little more averse to change. We put the castle bed up a couple of months ago and she says she wants to unscrew it and have her little bed back.

So, I can't help but wonder how those differences come about. One hypothesis I have is that in the womb, Anastasia was smashed against my pelvis and had limited movement, where Amelia hogged up the space and kicked all the time. With more limited movement, but more access to sound (her head being closest to the surface) Anastasia became auditory while Amelia became more kinetic.

I also wonder if the primary distinguishing trait of identical twins is that the younger ones have a more rounded face. I adore them. They have been absolute pills lately because I have not taken daily focused time to be with them. I say that because it is my opinion that behavior problems are parental attentiveness problems. That is not about guilt and blame. That is about the power of a few minutes of focused love and attention, followed by independent play. We can do so much more if we do the right things.

Skembox

2011-05-06T06:26:00.003-05:00

I knew I had not blogged in a while, but I just realized it has been three full months. Mike is still working out of town and coming home on the weekends. He should be done with it by the end of June.

I wen to Utah in March the twins and I visited Devanie during spring break. I took our new puppy, Tinkerbell. She was very good through the very long ride. She also had a lot of fun with Devanie's little puppy, Jazzy.

The main reason I went was to get the prototype for my toy invention built by the folks at Tanglewood Design. They also made the castle bed that I just installed for the babies. I picked up some of those pieces and had the ones that did not fit in the van shipped to me. About a month later I had everything painted and set up.

The name of the toy is the SkemboX. It is the non-digital toy with as many apps as a smart phone. Of course, me and my development team are still working on the apps, but the existing hardware (really, screws, bolts, MDF, etc.) offers a lot of options to begin with. It is a 2ft. by 4 ft. box with different cutouts on every side to spark a child's imagination. It can even be used as a desk or bookshelf.

I have some business details to take care of before the major launch, but it should be coming soon. I will be sending an email to all of my friends for them to opt in to the Skembox list so I can keep people up to date on product information and give them ideas for using it and playtime ideas that don't even require owning the SkemboX.

Apart from that, I am getting really close to finishing up my bachelors degree. I only have five more classes to take. I really hate my school, but it is too late to leave. I do not think it is the school specifically, but the online atmosphere. It is convenient, but I would really like more human interaction--especially for the price I am paying. But I am going to leave that there. I need to do another assignment before the babies wake up.

Top Secret

2011-02-06T21:41:00.002-06:00

My life is very full right now and I am very excited, but if I tell you anything more, I would have to kill you.

I can only talk about the sad things. For the past month, and probably for at least the coming month, Mike has been working out in East Texas during the week and coming home only on the weekends. This week because of bad weather, he was not even able to come home on Friday night. The week before that he only stayed Friday night and had to leave Saturday afternoon because he had deadlines on Monday that meant millions of dollars for the company. My time with him has been very limited.

The upside is that we have been going out on actual dates on the weekends and we enjoy each others company more. I also have more time during the week to work on the other stuff I am not currently talking about.

I absolutely adore my baby girls. I am having so much fun and taking so much time to play and learn with them and read to them. It makes it really easy when Anastasia says things like "You are the best mom in the whole world." I was taking dinner out of the oven tonight and she gasped like she had never seen me before and said "You're so pretty. That's why you need a prince." I said, "That's why I have Daddy." We have successfully played Candy Land a couple of times, but it does not work if anyone else is with me and the babies. They do not have the attention span to sit through anybody else's turn besides mine and sisters.

I have a rough draft for a research paper that is due tomorrow that I have not started, but I have a hard time caring because it doesn't matter what I write, the teachers say "nice job" and give me full credit. Getting mediocre feedback inspires me to be a mediocre student. Why excel when there is no reward for it? I only say that because of the massive amounts of mental energy that I put into my assignments. It is not an effective use of my time--except that I am using every paper I write as something that ties all of the knowledge of my other classes together to eventually become a book.

I am super sleepy. Good night.

Ask a Busy Person

2011-01-09T15:18:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I get focused on a specific goal, and I think to myself that I need to do only that; not be so distracted by different things. The trouble with that is that I get bored too quickly and never achieve that goal. I am feeling especially productive right now because I have, like, five major goals I am working on and developing right now, so when I get bored with one, I move on to the next, and before long, I come back to the other because I am excited about it again. If I only have one focused goal, I end up playing games and Facebooking, or something like that. I got over it sometime in November when I chanced to open Phillipians 4:13 and read all of the verses surrounding the oft quoted "I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me" and I profoundly sensed the truth of it--that I needed to stop limiting myself and just go all out. If I do everything with faith and gratitude, knowing it is what I am supposed to do, nothing can stop me.

I did not set any New Year's resolutions. It just so happened that I got all psyched up about a couple of ideas in my head at the end of December. I don't know if anyone is even reading blogs anymore, but I am reluctant to write any details about my projects, not just because you really do have to be careful about your ideas, but because the more I tell people about stuff, the closer I am to quitting the goal. I like to sneak up on people and make it a surprise. "Wow," they say, "I had no idea she could even do that."

On the other hand, I really need people to come on board with me. I am thinking in gigantic terms and I cannot do these things myself. I need people who can get past their little hangups about how busy they are. I need people who have a sense of purpose about making changes in their own lives so they can change others' lives. Everything I am doing takes nothing away from my children. In fact, they were the motivation for my taking action. We are coming closer together because of it.

See, to me, it is not enough just to teach your children not to get into trouble, or how to keep their room clean. If you do not have a purpose of your own that reaches outside of your isolated circle of children and spouse, you have contributed nothing to the world at large. If you teach your children that keeping the house clean and raising babies is the ONLY thing you need to do, by your example as a mother, you are teaching them how NOT to be involved in their communities and make a difference in the world--and they will follow your example.

My husband thinks that by saying this that I am saying motherhood is not enough, or that I am minimizing the role like a feminazi would. All I am saying is: saying motherhood is ALL that matters is a contracted world view, if your definition of motherhood is limited to intellectual--or even spiritual teaching, as well as domestic instruction. You must teach them BY EXAMPLE how to apply spiritual and intellectual truth in the larger world. If you do not expand your own circle of influence beyond the home, you will not be able to multiply your circle of influence by having children who expand their influence. Not many people do that. That is what makes those who try so extraordinary.

Who will raise tomorrows leaders and difference-makers? Who will show them how to make a difference today? Who will join me?

The Goose is Getting Fat

2010-12-05T17:14:00.002-06:00

Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat
Please put a penny in the old man's hat.
If you haven't got a penny,
a hey-penny will do
If you havent' got a hay-penny
God bless you!

And now for something completely different.
My husband just told me he wants to have a whole month where we try Spam recipes. I suggested that we do that the month leading up to Thanksgiving, so that the kids would really have something to be thankful for by the time the turkey came around.

I started a physiological psychology class next week (biology of the nervous system). That has been fun so far. I love hard sciences (as opposed to social sciences). However, I never see myself working in a biological field. That is saying something, because every class I take I want to change my major, and spend the class figuring out ways to use the knowledge I am acquiring in a professional setting. The biological knowledge will be useful in many other fields, but I have never been interested in medicine (nutrition, maybe). The best part of the class is that it is full of psych majors and we all like digging into the brain and playing with the mind.

I am happy it is Christmastime.

Like a Period

2010-11-16T18:27:00.003-06:00

Apparently I only blog once a month.

And I don't include pictures.

What if I am having a violent mood swing, and don't want to do it the way I always do?

Not to Make You Feel Bad

2010-10-17T18:21:00.002-05:00

My babies are 2 years and 10 months old. Amelia can identify half of the Alphabet because each letter is associated with someone she knows and loves. G is for Grandma, C is for Claire, U is for Uncle--LeeJoe, Thomas, Matt, etc, etc.

Anastasia can tell me the plot of any show she has seen and has started creating her own story-telling style. Of course they can sing their ABC's and several other songs. And, because they are my children, lovable personality oozes out of everything they do. Anastasia loves to draw hearts and they are almost recognizable as such.

The biggest challenge with them is keeping their clothes on. Every time Anastasia gets a drop of something on her dress she has to get a clean one. Or she has to change if she sees something different lying on the floor that she wants to wear.

The most exceptional thing about them is their memory. They remember names and talk about things from days and months ago.

They are still rambunctious and not very well behaved, because I don't get on them enough to keep them in line.

I like to do more interesting posts, but something is better than nothing, right? My posting on my other blog is exceptionally interesting, though.

Got My Life Back

2010-09-05T16:36:00.005-05:00

It has been a month since I last posted on this blog. I did post on my other blog one only three weeks ago. It has been fairly busy, though. Life has finally been restored to the normal order. The kids are back home and in school and Isaac is back in early morning seminary, so I have to wake up at 5:30 in the mornings again. I like waking up that early except that all last week I did not get to bed until midnight. I have not been eating well enough for my body to handle that. I say this as my husband sits down next to me with 4 hot dogs and 3 slices of American cheese melted over the top of them.

Anyway, we have another new car in our driveway this month because my husband had an 18-wheeler roll backwards onto the hood of his BMW. He found a Mercedes to replace it. He got a good deal on it. Half of the price was covered by the insurance settlement from the other car. But we still have two car payments now. Harrumph!

Emylie is going to school in Hallsville still because she has one more month before her dad has to move to San Marcos, which will be 4 hours from us instead of two. Emylie will choose if she wants to go with her dad and start a new school or stay here with the rest of her family. We are praying that she will stay with us. I have had a few good conversations with her about the realities she faces and the impact of her choices. She really needs to be here instead of being alone for 3-4 hours a day, minimum at her dad's house in a place where she knows no one. This is the thing that weighs on the mind of this mother.

My babies are painfully adorable. They have an exceptional command of the english language and utilize it fully. They use three and four syllable words correctly and in context. I wonder if there is a correlation between having multi-syllable names and early vocabulary and intelligence development. Anastasia has only been called by her full name. Same with Amelia. Big name little kid, big brain little kid?

Andrew started Karate this week. Claire and maybe Isaac might be joining him later in the month. Claire started playing the Clarinet in band this year. Isaac is taking advanced digital graphics, which seems to be the only thing he cares about, so I might get him some private lessons with someone we know who is very skilled at that. In fact, I told him I would if he would go to seminary.

The pictures are from Boondocks Motocross track.

That's all for now.

2010-08-08T17:14:00.001-05:00

Today is Lexi's birthday. Yesterday we spent the day together as a (partial) family. The twins, Mikey, Dad and I went down to San Antonio to pick up Lexi from Especially For Youth. On the way back we stopped at the Outlet Malls in San Marcos. We allotted two hours for ourselves so that we could get home at a decent hour. We had a good time together except that the babies do not like shopping. They like going to shoe stores if they are allowed to try them all on. Other than that, they fuss and scream a lot.

I have not been working out that much since summer started because if I have not been on the road I have been trying to catch up on housework while keeping the babies occupied or I have started on household projects. I have painted the kitchen and the babies' bedroom as well as the half-bath downstairs. Mike has requested that I not paint anything else until I have done our bathroom because somebody started on it and did not finish. This indicates a change in Mike's opinion of me, as for a long time he has not believed me capable of a good paint job. My recent projects have consistently proven otherwise. Yea!

It changes the dynamic so much to not have the other kids around. They are with their dad for mostly the rest of the summer. I really miss having helpers for the babies, but I still manage to get stuff done--and there are things that I don't have to do when the big kids are not around.

I don't know if I said anything about last Saturday's Karate Tournament. Mike posted some video of Mikey at his competition in Tyler. The babies saw the sparring matches and kept saying, "That's mean!" Andrew has been wanting to take Karate for a long time. I have just not gotten around to setting it up. I have made some calls to get that set up for him and any other kids who want to do it. Who knows, I might even join up. (Doubtful since I already have a gym membership and am under-utilizing it right now.)

Look at that. Two weeks in a row. BAM!

Trained

2010-08-01T21:25:00.003-05:00

While I was in Nevada I started to notice how well Anastasia and Amelia were doing with potty training. Since then they have nearly perfected it. Amelia does not even seem to be having a problem at night--to the point that when she asked to wear panties to sleep last night I let her. No problem.

I usually use the handicapped stall because it it the party stall--suitable for a party (potty, whatever) of three. Do you often get the privilege of being in a bathroom stall next to a toddler and parent? The things they say are fantastic. What if we as adults just started talking really loudly in the public restroom: "It's coming." Or "I let the poop down!" Or "It stinky, huh?"

I am so thankful for my older children. All of them, unfortunately, have been with other parents since I got back, so I have been alone with babies a lot. It makes me appreciate how genuinely helpful they are. They still make work for me in their own right, but the babies miss them so much. They talk about their siblings all the time.

They are also still talking about the relatives we visited. A couple of times now Anastasia has started talking out of the blue about how Uncle LeeJoe drove mommy's car and took them swimming. They love to talk on the phone to the people they now know as well (but most of you already knew that).

It is amazing how much they retain and explain. They are starting to understand family relationships (beyond mom and dad) and speak in those terms. They are learning time concepts and talk about "yesterday" and "Sunday" and "tomorrow" and can tell me what happens or will happen or has happened. Their awareness of humor is developing. They love to be silly for attention. They are coming to terms with their identity. Dad calls them "monkey" a lot and they correct him. "I'm not a monkey, I'm Anastasia." "I'm not a baby, I'm Amelia." At the same time they are starting to play roles. "I'm a monkey!" "I'm a baby!"

They have started trying to trick people by telling them they are the twin they are not, but I am never fooled--especially since they say it with that mischievous smile. Amelia loves texting and screams when I have the audacity to use my own phone. Anastasia has turned everything into a camera since we got back from vacation because of all the family reunion pictures we tried to take. She holds any semi-rectangular thing at arms distance and says " 'Mile!"

I had my 38th birthday and because I really needed one, I got a new car for it. It is a 2006 gold Honda Odyssey with DVD, leather, sunroof, and automatic everything. For the first time ever, I have a van with passenger and driver sliding doors--4 vans and 15 years after they started making them. My husband likes it better than his BMW (in some ways).

Life seems to have an openness and a vitality for me today, which is a nice change from the blocked and lifeless feeling that has been creeping up lately.

Falling asleep at the keyboard. I am by myself again because Mike is driving back from SanAntonio where he dropped Lexi off at Especially for Youth. I hope it is a good experience for her.

Yeah, I'm going to sleep now. Love y'all.

A/C at girls camp (not home)

2010-06-11T23:51:00.002-05:00

I have been wanting to blog for a long time. Claire had her birthday two weeks ago. When she got back from her dad's we had done most of the construction on a bunk and loft bed we designed for her and the girls. We did not allow her to go upstairs or to her room until her friends arrived for the slumber party. That was the Thursday they got out of school for the summer. I have not posted pictures of the bed because it is still unfinished. Hopefully I will be able to get pretty it up just right while the kids are with their dad a little later this summer.

The first morning we finally had all the kids here, I woke the kids up a little before 6AM to go to the temple for baptisms and realized there was something horribly wrong with the A/C in the middle of an unseasonal heat spike of triple digit temps. Because it was the weekend, nobody was able to do more than tell us what was wrong with it. We decided it would be better to buy a new unit than try to replace that one. To keep ourselves "cool" we spent 4 hours at the pool in the heat of the day. We spent the next two air-conditionerless days in utter misery as we tried to cope with the added heat of our burning flesh. Andrew did not put on sunscreen and has a severe second degree burn on his shoulders. A week later, the rest of us are just starting to shed that top layer of damaged skin.

We sought relief in a hotel on Monday night after the girls headed off to girl's camp and their air-conditioned cabins. We were able to get everything replaced by Tuesday afternoon and live like civilized people--or Texas girls at girl's camp.

Speaking of which, in case you hadn't gathered it, all 3 of my older girls were at camp this year. I think it was a good experience for them, but Claire did not seem that talkative about details.

Mike left around 11pm for a supersonic drive to Arizona to drop off the car Marissa just bought from a person here in Dallas. He will fly back Sunday. I will sleep in my bed now

The Endless Conflict

2010-05-18T06:23:00.001-05:00

I have a few minutes before choir practice. Mike is going to pick up the kids and the babies are taking their nap. They will have to go with me to practice.

I have been in a somewhat reflective mode lately. Every 6-9 months or so I go through a what am I going to be when I grow up crisis. I guess it is more of an issue of acknowledging the truth about what I know I have always wanted and figuring out what I can do to get there. When I was talking to my oldest son a week or so ago about taking his schooling and his future seriously I told him to really work for what he really wants to do. I told him how I went to beauty school so I could have a good job while I worked my way through college where I would study to become a teacher so that I would have a backup if what I really wanted didn't work out.

What that really means is that I have spent my whole life on a backup plan, planning to fail at what I really wanted. And I have not even been able to succeed at the backup plan. I know, I know, you don't want me to feel like a failure and you want to remind me what a beautiful family I have. You want to tell me that the years I have spent with them have not been wasted.

Truly, I would be devastated and my life would be empty if I had made the big dream while not being able to get married, or pregnant (or remarried even), because in my heart of hearts, that is the most important thing to me. Truly, I would not trade what I have for any level of success, and I am willing to endure any manner of hardship to keep my family. Nonetheless, I cannot avoid the feeling that I am not operating at full potential.

Of course, as a divine daughter of God, my potential is infinite, and I have eternity to explore the greatness within. But I will not have that infinite opportunity if I do not make the most of the gifts and opportunities I have while in my finite, state. The quality of my life after mortality depends upon the value and diligence of my actions in this life.

It is two days later. I never even turned on my computer yesterday and I did not get through the laundry. I have two more loads to do today. For those considering a new front loading high efficiency washing machine, know that the loads take much longer to run through and you cannot load them as tightly, so they may not be the best choice for people with volumes of laundry they want to do in a condensed period of time, and you have to spend more money on detergent.

I do not feel like I accomplished much yesterday, but I could not not have done much more. Were they the right things? That is my struggle. Time to quit thinking and start doing.

Princesses

2010-04-25T21:26:00.004-05:00

Anastasia and Amelia love to watch Enchanted. They call it "Ah-Ah" because of the little song she sings to bring the animal helpers. It inspires them to be beautiful.

They are absolute princesses--not Divas. They love to wear dresses and spin. At the same time, they love to go with me to the gym and mimic the exercises they have observed. Anastasia loves basketball and being pushed on the swings. Amelia likes to be in control of the swing situation and just flies on her belly. They are exceptionally conversational.

Amelia loves hiding. She sits in the corner of our sectional with a billow on top of her and waits quietly for me to pass by. She ran off at half-price books yesterday (in her squeaky shoes, so I knew where she headed) and stood quietly in the corner of the bookshelves waiting for me to find her. Squeal and giggle.

They have also learned by the example of many siblings and parents how to argue, correct one another, and compete with one another. "My mom!" "No, My mom!" Amelia is the reasonable one when I suggest that she let sister have something in exchange for something else or to share.

They love their other siblings. Claire is a safe haven for them. They ask about the kids when they are at school, and they are so excited when Mikey, Lexi, ad Emylie are here as well. Everyone gets a little tired of them because of the things they break, get into, or run off to, but they are so ridiculously loved. I am fortunate to have such great helpers.

Since Andrew got a motorcycle for his birthday, Mikey felt he had to have one, but we expected and planned for that. We had Mikey's birthday party this weekend even though it is well over a week before his birthday because we got the bike and we could not keep it from him any longer--and he won't be here on his birthday.

Mikey did fine the first time he got on the bike (even though it is huge compared to Andrew's)--a YZ125 but the mud was very slippery and he tipped and burned his pant leg on the engine. After that he was very spooked and didn't want to get back on. With the threat of having the bike put on Craigslist if he did not get back on, he persevered. Lexi and Claire, th0ugh, were the go-getters with it.

I tried to sit around all day nursing a calf injury. They babies both leaned out the side of the shopping cart while I had my back turned to them. They tipped it over and I caught it with the back of my knee. Then Mike went and caught the back of his leg on the footpegs (while wearing shorts) of the motorcycle while trying to start it. And now we know clearly, and without question, who has the higher pain tolerance.

Raising a blended family has been a tremendous challenge, but Mike and I have come such a long way with building relationships and how we deal with situations and each other. We still have a lot more that needs to progress, but we will not be running out of room to grow any time soon.

2010-03-21T17:27:00.003-05:00

The things we do to keep children happy during church.

This week I dug out some patches of grass to plant roses and bulbs that I was supposed to have planted in the fall, but I could not until this week because that is when I was finally able to get the dirt to condition the soil so the roses would not die like last year. The weather was gorgeous for such things; temperatures in the high 60's to mid 70's, clear and bright. Then Saturday it rained on all my newly planted plants. I was so grateful.

Then when I woke up this morning, we had another inch or two of snow on the ground. Maybe that is really good. My bulbs were supposed to be planted in the fall. Maybe they will think they had a winter to hibernate and bloom nicely because of it. I think it will be nice and sunny again tomorrow, though. Happy first day of spring. Happy El Nino.

February Hilights

2010-03-14T21:42:00.004-05:00

The week the Olympics started we had more snowfall in Texas than they did in Vancouver. 12 inches in 36 hours.

Andrew's Pinewood Derby. I missed most of it because all the other kids had activities where I was supposed to be

Sunday Blogging

2010-03-07T19:56:00.002-06:00

I think I said a little while back that I would try blogging every Sunday. I did not say when I would start, but today seems to be the day.

I started working out in the gym in the middle of January. I have not hit it very hard. Nonetheless, except for the week the babies had pneumonia, I have gone 2-4 times/week. I recently stepped it up a notch and did 3 sessions with a personal trainer. I feel my biggest accomplishment, however, is that Mike is now fired up about going to the gym. After his second week of working out he is now all concerned about his diet and is really focused on getting healthy. He stopped drinking Dr. Pepper without provocation. His fervor may become a little more than I would prefer, as this progresses, but for now, it has many benefits.

For myself, it gets the babies out of the house for a little while where they are not destroying it. And since I can't seem to do anything else when they are awake, it is as good a use of my time as any. Oh, and I'm getting my sexy back. My hips and thighs were expanding at a 40 year old rate. I just couldn't handle it any more. Now I am able to wear some of the pants I had put away for the sake of discomfort and public consideration. Those are still the pants I grew into with pregnancy, so I have a way to go still, but it is coming along.

I am no better of a mother than I was, though. Well maybe I have a little more energy now to make things happen around here, but doing more does not help if you are not doing the right things, right?

I was called to be the Relief Society Secretary. This is my first time in a Church auxiliary leadership position since Primary Presidency when we lived in NY before Claire was born. I have had lots of callings I have enjoyed since then, but I still have not been trusted to a leadership position for years. As the secretary, I technically still don't have one, but I at least get to be where the action is. This is actually the worst calling I have had as far as fitting my aptitudes. Paperwork and organization are precisely my weaknesses. But I am willing to grow and improve.

Time to get the kids to bed.

Public School

2010-03-01T11:09:00.002-06:00

All I can say is wow. Wow.

Andrew was kicked out to school last Monday because he did not have his most recent booster shot for hepatitis. It had been less than 2 months since his last shot, which is how long you are supposed to wait between boosters. He had not had any shots previous to this year because I had submitted a conscientious objection as required by law. This year I decided it would be easier to just get the shots.

I was wrong.

I have had to take him out of school four times this year to keep up with the series. He has more antibodies in his system than any other kid in the school, due to the concentration of shots he has had in less than six months. Despite the fact that he poses no immediate or future risk to the other students, he was excluded from all school activity for the sake of adherence to regulation.

It is my conviction that a system which makes policy a priority over people and purpose is doomed to fail. Forney School District has shown me, without apology or equivocation that their hard-line interpretation of Texas law is more important than my child's educational and social well being. Here is what I wrote to his teachers this afternoon:

I just wanted to share my intense frustration with the school district's implementation of policy, that I know you have nothing to do with. As you may know, Andrew was excluded from school for 3 days last week because of his shot record status. I talked to both the head of nurses and the superintendent about options which would allow Andrew to continue to go to school, while I got everything in order related to his records. They gave me a 3 day extension, which was not in any way enough. Nonetheless I made every good faith effort to correct the situation and had it taken care of by Friday. And though Andrew came to school today, having all of his shots updated, he was still not able to attend class because he did not have the documentation with him.

I was not told that he was not being allowed into class, because the office staff was too busy to talk to me, they just had Andrew call me. I told him I would be there in about an hour, as I had to feed and dress myself and babies. But I got caught up in my morning routine and forgot about the shot record until Andrew called me at 10:30. I did not realize that he was not being allowed to go to class until I met him in the office and asked if he had been waiting there the whole time. When he said yes, I was so outraged that I did not even give him a kiss and a have-a-good day. All I could say was wow. Wow. I put the paperwork on the desk and suggested to the office staff that I deserved a little bit of good faith for all my efforts and walked out the door.

Did they think that I would tell my son to lie about having gotten his shots? Did they think that the State of Texas was going to do a records check this morning and they would be busted for not maintaining files properly? Why has adherence to policy been consistently more important than my child's education? If the school district does not prioritize his education, why should I?

Because I am the parent, and I do care. That's why I have taken the time to talk to those who have the right and authority to make exceptions--as exceptions, not trying to change policy--but they pretended to be bound by unbending constraints. All the while trying to make me as a parent feel guilty for not "caring about my child's education enough" to make sure that all these technical details were taken care of. I was hurt by the disdain showed to me despite my efforts all year long to get Andrew's shots. This was the fifth time this year that I have had to take him out of school to continue the series, as you might recall. And because I care, I let go of my pride and got Andrew vaccinated again instead of the other option of submitting a conscientious objection which would have meant two more weeks of Andrew missing school. I was not going to use him or harm him to make a point like the parents of ponytail boy did. [Recent local news story of parents who refused to cut their pre-k aged son's hair according to dress code so they put it in a ponytail, making him look like a girl, but that was still not good enough for the school, they wanted it braided and the parents still wouldn't do it.] In spite of all my efforts, Andrew could not get the benefit of the doubt for a few short hours to go to class this morning.

I am in my third year of study working towards a degree in education, but I am seriously reconsidering that decision. I cannot imagine wanting to be part of a system which has such disdain for parents, and whose policies take priority over the intended goal of education for the children they are supposed to serve.

This is the reason you teachers wring your hands trying to get parents involved in their child's education. We as parents understand that we have no say in what happens in the school. Our voices are not heard, nor are we respected for the primary and vital role we have in teaching and directing the children we chose to bring into the world. As a teacher, you get attached to your students and call them your children, but they are only on loan to you with our faith and trust that your purpose is their intellectual welfare. However, the education system is set up to make us as parents respond as subjects of the school system, like peasants to a monarch rather than being democratic participants in a system designed for us and by us. I understand that teachers as well suffer frustration with all the bureaucratic constraints of curriculum and testing. This is a continuation of the root problem that our education system comes from the government and agencies down and not from the families and teachers up.

Forgive me, I am getting a little off subject. I just wanted to let you know what was going on and ask you to please help Andrew make up for the time he has missed outside of the control parents and teachers. I will be asking him about assignments he needs to make up and subjects he needs to study. Thank you for your time and effort despite all the bureaucratic discomfort you wade through on a daily basis.

Janika Skembo

I wish my husbands (ex and present) were supportive of homeschooling. I wish I was dedicated enough put in the time and effort that requires.

Two is Better than One

2010-02-07T15:49:00.003-06:00

I tried to do my Disney blog from my iPhone, but it didn't work, and I have a "no make-up" policy. When I do that, it keeps me from capturing the present.

Instead I will talk about my wonderful babies. They are maturing so much. They are finally developing some distinctive traits. Anastasia is very verbal. She has started saying "Whas dat?" all the time. She wants a name for everything. She has entered parrot phase where she tends to just repeat the last couple of words of anything someone says.

We hired one of Mike's friends to professionally paint our stairwell and do some other work and he has a helper. Every time they open the door or come back in during the day, Anastasia says "hello!" Clear as a bell, bright and cheery like they have been gone for a week. Or she will say "Hi worker mans!"

Amelia's most distinctive trait is still her compulsion about music. Anything that has a beat makes her wiggle. She loves to dance and will do turns and leg lifts and a number of other indistinguishable movements that range from hip hop to ballet style. Anastasia wants me to pick her up and do ballroom with her when the music is on.

Anastasia likes to climb up on the piano bench and pat it so that I will sit next to her. Then she crawls on my lap so I will play the accompaniment for twinkle little star while I help her move her fingers to make the melody. Amelia has gotten over that and wants to make her own music.

Amelia still tends to be more willing to give up what she has for her sister, but they both want me to get a drink, snack, candy, or whatever for their sister if I give them one, and each insists on taking it to the other wherever she is.

They are both sick, but Amelia definitely gets it worse than her sister. When they were 2 months old and got RSV, it was Amelia who spent 4 days in the ICU and two in a regular room, where Anastasia had 4 days total in a regular room. They are dripping horrible mucous and nasty cough. Amelia is running a fever. When Amelia gets sick, she gets grumpy and lethargic. Anastasia gets wired and goofy.

Anastasia can open doors and leads the mischief making. Amelia is always trying to climb up my legs and wants to be with me all the time. I am absolutely not liking the terrible of these twos. They get in to stuff and love to make messes. Terrible two times two is four, right? But it is 10x as much trouble.

Still, I love my precious babies so much. I have not taken the time I need to to just play with and enjoy them, though. Time goes so much quicker when you are older. I am about to start rambling on about missed opportunities and failed self-expectation, so I will stop.

I will say, though that I auditioned for the TV show America's Got Talent last weekend. I told Mike I might not do it. I was worried that I would make it and that this is not the right time for that kind of focus. He thought it was ridiculous of me not to try. I did not have to worry about making it. About 1/3-3/4 of the people who audition are singers. It is just overflow from American Idol and people who are too young or too old for it. But the show is not looking to be American Idol. They want variety acts and such. Going in costume is the key. Having a gimmick is crucial. It was a good experience. I will be much better prepared if I decide to do it again.

My 3 year old dryer is dead. I might be able to get a repairman out here for $100, but I hate that stupid machine. It has been falling apart for many months and in not energy efficient at all.

I am going to try to commit to updating my blog every Sunday. It was pretty easy to do today because I did not have to travel with kids. We will see how well I do.

Magic

2010-01-12T21:43:00.001-06:00

Connecting with Family

2010-01-08T08:50:00.004-06:00

The first stop of our winter vacation was a dinner visit to the Rifley Grandparents in Mobile. I have only been able to see them twice before, and Andrew and Claire have never met their biological paternal grandfather and his mom, their great grandmother.

Matt (my children's father) did not meet his

biological dad (Ron Rifley) until he was almost 18. His mom and dad split when he was two after his dad was stationed in Korea for a year. We had Emylie and Isaac when we passed through Alabama on our way to live in West Point, New York. Grandma Ruth was not there at that time, but we met her and Uncle Bob in Houston when we were living in San Antonio. Claire was there, but certainly too young to remember.

We ate Pizza with Grandpa Ron and he showed the kids his fishing tackle shed and shark teeth, etc. Then we went on our merry way. His house was pretty different from the last time I had seen it because he had a few feet of water in it from Hurricane Katrina. Though I have no personal connection with them, it is very important to me for my children to be aware of and connected to their family.

The next thing we did was meet with Aunt MaryAnne and Riley and Dustin. We ate dinner at Fridays. The next day we went to Kennedy Space Center. Andrew loved it. The younger ones did not get that much out of it. For the money they charged, there was not that much there. I can only make myself feel good about it as a donation to the Space program. Mostly, though, we got to hang out with MaryAnne. I don't know if she got any pictures with the twins. I don't have any. Maybe next time.

She had to go to work the next day, so she left at five.

Unnatural Talent

2009-12-16T23:22:00.003-06:00

There is a little understood secret about talent. It is not natural. It is God-given, but He only gives us seed packets. Some get a big fat packet. Some get a variety pack. Some get only a tiny bit of tiny seeds. No one gets the seeds scattered on the ground for them. Only they can open the packet and only they can plant the seed.

See, talent is nothing without work. Anyone who is asked to describe me is likely to mention something about my voice. They ask me about the training they assume I have had. Though I have never taken a formal voice lesson, I have spent hours of days and weeks of months singing and listening to myself; studying and copying great vocalists. I have sifted through the voices I modeled and tried to find my own. Sometimes I have been intensely focused on a specific performance. Other times I have been focused on the hope of being a well-known performer. But many times, I have let that hope fall dormant and I stop practicing. I never stop singing. But when I am not focused on becoming, my voice gets lazy and I lose the sound quality which qualifies all the accolades I have received and have hoped to receive. Talent is not natural. It is work.

When I go back to my passion (what you are passionate about is your talent) I thrill again to reach notes, match expression of the artists I study, and seek, and breathe my own life and meaning into it. The muscles become strong again and my confidence increases. Unleashing my own ability is a thrill which only makes me hungrier to share that ability with others. It just seems like such a waste if I am the only one who knows.

Then there is dance. It makes me feel alive. For years my body has rested from the intense effort and exertion of regular dance. And yet, my muscles thrill with the strain of doing a develope into a rond de jambe. The tension of my unused muscles is joyfully wakened by a deep stretch. Though I have never seen myself becoming a professional dancer, it is a talent that I love to develop, use, and share.

Whenever I hit a lull in my aspirations, I explore the thought that maybe I have been delusional for all these years and I should just be content to be an average person. I try to wrap my head around the idea that it is okay for Janika to focus exclusively on day to day realities. The thought makes me ache. I could let go of the tension of unfulfilled hopes and expectations in an attempt to be satisfied with less than my best, but I would be left with emptiness and purposelessness.

Some people are content with average. Some people find great joy in a common life. There is something exceptional about that which I respect. When anyone lives their life to their fullest, they deserve the highest honor no matter how average it is.

My discontent is because I know I am not living my own life to the fullest. Sometimes I get glimpses of my own greatness. It awes and humbles me as God lets me peek at who I can become. Often it is through the eyes of admiring peers. I would not believe in myself if so many people had not told me all my life how unique or talented I was.

Maybe if I only had one passion I would be able to work it and succeed better than I have. But music and dance are the beginning of my passion. I love words. I love giving meaning and expression to thought. I find great satisfaction in letting people into my mind. I have an intense need to preserve thoughts which I might never recall otherwise. It is the very smallest legacy I can leave. The simplest, and most vital. Who was I and what did I do while I was here? My family at least should be able to discover those things.

I even find great satisfaction in cleaning a house down deep until it sparkles. More so when I create something for my house and put a room together in a new way. However, I find daily maintenance exhausting. My passion for it does not exceed the required effort of it when maintenance takes away from my ability to work in other areas of passion.

My point here is that talent is work that brings joy and satisfaction. It yearns for expression and gives purpose. Whether it is simple or grand, the key to success is that it is a profound part of being that generates a sense of need and brings joy when realized. "When you've got it you've got it" but when you don't use it you loose it. Talent is not natural, it is work. And work is fun.

Take Two iTest

2009-12-02T13:12:00.003-06:00

Picture from an iPhone published from a MacBook.

Turkeyless Trip

2009-11-29T21:23:00.003-06:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Mike's parents and all of our kids at our house one week early. The "real" Thanksgiving day we spent travelling to Craig and Consie's house in Missouri, not expecting anyone to be there, but Mike's dad was for that day. It was just the babies and I with Mike so we could hang out there while he and his brother Matt went hunting, which they did on Saturday. Mike did a little bit on Friday as well. They did not see a single deer all weekend.

We drove home on Saturday night because we decided after Thursdays day trip with the babies that we would only go nighttime with them from now on. We left at 8 last night and got home at 6 this morning, napped for a couple of hours and got ready for our 1:00 church meetings in our newly remodeled/added on to building.

I just got back from driving another two hours to pick up the kids who have been with their dad all week. I should not have even turned on the computer because I am falling asleep at the keyboard. Mike has already been asleep for 2 hours. But I just wanted to post a picture from the iPhone to see if I liked the picture quality of it on my blog. The one Mike sent me from his iPhone is a horse at his parents house which we might buy. I just tried to post it, but it saved as a zipped file and blogger can't upload it. IPhone picture to blog transfer strike ONE!

(Mike wants me to have an iPhone, but I am a little anti-apple and a lot anti -trend, -spend, and -technology is my friend.)

Home Improvement

2009-11-15T19:32:00.002-06:00

This week has been busy with evidence. I sewed eight sashes for cub scout patches, 6 102" Drapery panels and 3 valences. This weekend I painted my living room and hung the aforementioned drapes. Because my ceilings are a little bit high and I did not have an adequate ladder, I made good use of my Isaac. Pray that your children will be taller than you. It helps justify slavery. I really appreciated all he did to help, and could not have done it without him.

Claire and Andrew kept the babies occupied all day, which was another key factor in my success. They mostly played outside and made the trampoline into a tent with the blankets Claire and her friend used to sleep on it the night before. See, we live in Texas and this is the time of year when it is good to sleep outside. Before the end of September, it is just too hot and muggy and buggy.

I also started studying for my English Lit CLEP test. I did not do well at all on the practice test, so I have a ton of reading to do. I read Beowolf--out loud to the babies in a Welsh and Germanic accents. They did not listen with rapt attention by any stretch. In fact they tried to get me to stop at times. After a while they realized I would not stop and went about their own business--sort of, you know.

I know you want pictures of my new living room, but that will not be seeing it until I have a working camera again. I guess Devanie takes all her pictures on her video camera. I could do that if I wanted to, I suppose, but that would mean having to learn something new, and English lit has me maxxed out. Sorry. Doesn't mean I love you less. Thanks for stopping by.

What a Treat

2009-11-03T06:01:00.002-06:00

Last year I realized too late that I could take my infants trick-or-treating and eat all the candy myself, so I did not take the babies around the neighborhood for something they would get nothing out of. This year they were ready to get the concept of door-to-door beggary.

I dressed them up as---ummmm---winged babies? They wore their orange sherbet Sunday dresses with wings on the back. ADORABLE. One had green wings and the other had orange wings.

They went to the first house with trepidation. Then when they got the candy, the man at the door looked a lot more friendly. They thought maybe they should go in the house and become very good friends. I told them to say "Thank you. Bye bye." I turned them around and walked them to the next house (with a little help from the other trick or treaters (Andrew, Claire, and Mikey). When they got candy again, despite the ugly witch sitting in the chair who gave it to them, they started to catch on. Amelia ran ahead of everyone to the third house--nylon and wire wings bouncing all the way.

Neither of them ever said trick or treat, or anything like it. But they got a sugar rush with daddy before a late bedtime. They are still recovering from lack of sleep. I am disappointed with the candy quality in our neighborhood. Where's my chocolate? Guess I'll have to go hit halloween candy clearance rack.

Bubble Bath

2009-10-29T08:13:00.003-05:00

A couple of days ago--maybe even yesterday, Andrew asked me when the babies were going to have their first bubble bath. They are in the tub now (Bathroom door is 5 feet away from me) and they managed to open a bottle of shampoo in their water, so they are having their first bubble bath. I don't do bubble baths for little girls generally, so they treated themselves to something wonderful and I am letting them enjoy it. It makes me feel better about the waste of a 1/2 bottle of Loreal Kids shampoo.

Over the weekend Mike was in Missouri again, so I took the opportunity to paint the babies' bedroom and two garage sale toddler beds. I only have one of the beds put together because I cannot find where I put the hardware for the other--exceptionally frustrating. So one is sleeping on the crib mattress on the floor. They are having a great time in their new bedroom, but they are not napping as well. 2 out of 3 days they have slept, though so they will continue to adjust and nap.

I have to do my homework and make 5 costumes today and get ready for a major Halloween party, but I thought I would share.

Down With the Sickness, Yo

2009-10-20T07:35:00.002-05:00

Mike may be the only one who has not gotten the second round of 2-day headache-fever-weakness. Everybody has missed a couple of days of school. The babies spent an entire day cuddled in our laps. I called off choir practice and missed church. Those who have recovered still have coughing mucus. There have been 15 swine flu deaths in the Dallas area and a few people in my ward have gotten it. But it does not worry me at all. I did not even consider taking anyone to the doctor because nothing has been that serious. I did go so far as to give the babies Tylenol, but the older kids got echinacea, and fluids as did I. Other than that, the human body is amazing and can take care of itself with minimal help and financial outlay.

I spent yesterday in my weakened state of recovery washing sheets, towels, blankets at my husband's request and all the regular Monday laundry. I still had two more loads to do this morning. I think my dryer is not working properly. It takes way too long to dry. It is a Kenmore Elite that I bought less than 3 years ago and it is falling apart on every level. All my appliances are going to be GE from now on (because I do not want to go super high end LG and whatever).

I kept the TV running all day to slow my pace and give me an excuse to sit down. And I still managed to hand in my rough draft for my term paper 2 hours ahead of schedule. I am that good--even if I don't feel that great. Time to let the babies out of their beds.

Sleep Patterns

2009-10-06T07:17:00.002-05:00

I took Emylie and her friend to First Monday Trade Days in Canton this weekend with her friend. We met up with Sybil, our former next door neighbor. I bought a couple of Christmas presents and a special, but expensive organizational tool--an antique miniature trunk.

Monday, the kids here had the day off for "Fair Day" so they could utilize the free tickets to go to the state fair, but if you already read my previous post, you know that we did that already. We had a work day instead. They helped me clean house and watch babies. I sanded down a toddler bed to paint so I can put away the babies cribs. They are almost 21 months now. Tragically, they have not taken naps for the past four days. I am concerned that they are not going to anymore. I have never had children stop naps this early. I only know that when it takes more time and effort to get them to take a nap than you get from then napping, it is time to quit. I will still institute a mandatory stay-in-your-bedroom time if this is permanent. But I need to put them in bed by seven instead of eight if that is the case.

My mom called me Sunday morning to let me know that my grandma is in hospice care and not expected to live much longer. Last night I woke up at 2:30 and did not get back to sleep until almost 4. I had a lot of things troubling me because of a certain child of mine, but I thought of my grandma and how long she has been without her husband and how joyous their reuniting embrace. That hoped for joy gave me peace and helped me to relax and get back to sleep.

Still, I feel very groggy and would have been grateful to not have to take Isaac to Seminary or respond to my husbands alarm for work.

For Me

2009-09-28T05:45:00.002-05:00

I have not been motivated to post lately because I thrive on the comments of others, and nobody seems to be reading blogs anymore, so I need to get into the mindset that this is my journal for me. The trouble is, there is not too much I want to talk about these days. Nothing is bad. It some ways it is too good. I don't want to rub it in everyone else's faces or have them comment about how jealous they are. But after 8 months of being unemployed we finally got a job and it is a great job. Mike is making big money and we are spending it.

I have not taken pictures, but we got a new living room and dining room set. The couch is a squarish contemporary sectional and the dining set (which shares the same open space is an ultra traditional dark wood with huge leather chairs with nailhead trim. We still have to replace the "builders special" "chandelier" and have the 3-pendant light set picked out. I have also bought paint to cover up the contractors flat white walls and have no idea when I will be able to actually put it on the walls. I assure you, I will not be doing it while the babies are awake. There are a ton of other home improvement things I want to do, like get the toddler bed up and put away the crib and pack 'n' play and fix up the girls bedroom. All the kids need to have their rooms painted. We also want to put in hardwood floors and tile in the kitchen and bathrooms. I will not be doing the bathrooms. I have done a bathroom before, but taking out the toilet and getting it back in makes it more of a chore than I am willing to do.

Isaac is at Seminary right now and the other kids should be getting ready for school, but I don't think Claire has made it out of her room.

We went to the Texas State Fair this weekend and tried the deep-fried butter. It looked like a donut hole with a juicy center of melted butter. Sprinkled with powdered sugar and dipped in jam, it was almost like food. However, it left a film of fat on the palette. We can say we have tried it. That is enough. We will stick to the funnel cake.

Potty Training Twins

2009-09-15T08:01:00.003-05:00

Talking about bodily functions isn't couth, but old people and mothers of young children seem obsessed with it. Maybe because it is such a dominant feature of our lives.

The babies are now 20 months old so I have been introducing potty training concepts. I have put training pants (real ones not diapers that pull up) on them a few times. The comfort of the big girl panties compared to diapers and the unmistakable sensation of wetness have made them very aware of their need to go pee. Anastasia has successfully used the potty seat. They both love to sit on it, but because they are fighting over who gets to sit on it, they don't concentrate on business. Then, even when I hold one on the big potty while the other sits on the little one, they just want to get up after a few seconds. This is one situation where it really changes the dynamic from that of having just one kid to work with.

They are both getting the concepts, though. Anastasia even grabbed herself the other day and said "Potty!" so we rushed to the bathroom, but she did not do anything. Potty training is such a chore. It takes so much focus and dedication (which is why so many of today's lazy parents don't train their kids--or have their kids train themselves--until they are almost in Pre-K these days). However, the effort is well worth the result. That is why children are infinitely better than pets. After just a few short years, you don't have to have anything to do with their poo poo anymore.

Time to let the beasts out of their cage. They are awake now.

Mike Mulligan's Steam Shovel

2009-08-31T09:20:00.004-05:00

A couple of years ago I took the backroads through Kansas on the way to Missouri and saw a big old steam shovel on the side of the road and vowed to take pictures of it for LeeJoe the next time I passed through that way. I guess it is for Zach, too. This was the very last stop of our 5,000 mile trip.

Back

2009-08-27T08:56:00.002-05:00

Back to school, back online, back up your files, go back to the old post and see the trip pics I was finally able to post. Behind my back is the door to the babies' room where they just woke up and I can smell them from out here. And I should go back downstairs and do another load of laundry.

15 minutes later....
I'm back. Goodness grosscious! I should have gone in at the first hint of noise and odor. Someone (who shall remain nameless) decided that poop was an appropriate medium for art. Two babies are now clean, and the artwork is no more. Now I REALLY need to go do another load of laundry.

40 Minutes later....
Back again. Grody laundry in machine, babies fed. Now where was I?

My internet was not working partly because of a virus and partly because of something else. After Mike fixed the virus there was still a bunch of reconfiguring and who knows what that he had to do, and I didn't ask him about it because we were both so tired and stressed out last night that we ate, and vegitated in front of the TV for 1/2 hour after dinner and went to bed.

The kids had their first day back at school yesterday. Then I went to get myself registered at the local college for some courses that I can't get with my online stuff. I had the babies with me and spent 3 hours there to finally get to the counselor who said I did not have the information she needed (even though I had already emailed her with the information she needed) so she told me to go home and get it and come back within the hour so we could finish up the application. Me retrieving the information required my use of the internet. The kids would be coming home from their first day of school when I went out the second time and the babies needed a nap. It was the last day and last hour of registration, so I will just stick to my online stuff this semester.

Isaac is in 10th grade this year. He is starting in a brand new school (to everybody, not just him). There are only 9th and 10th graders there, so his class is the head honcho. Next year, when he is in 11th, they will add that grade to the school. Same thing for when he is in 12th. His class will always be the big dogs on campus and they will be the first graduating class. I am excited for him.

Emylie decided, despite formal counseling and much intense and loving discussion that she wanted to stay with her dad this year. That is the thing about split families--you just don't have as much control as a parent as parents should have. Making a stink doesn't make it better. But I did try. I can take the rejection personally, or I can recognize that it is just a no win situation for any child who loves both of their parents and keep loving her.

Claire is in 6th and has 3 different teachers. Her homeroom teacher is male. That is her first time having a male teacher. Andrew had one in second grade. She went into the classroom on Meet the Teacher Night and saw the desk labeled Ty and definitively concluded that it was the boy across the street all the kids hang out with (along with brother PJ and sister Patience). So she claimed the neighboring desk.That reminds me, PJ is in Isaac's Theater class.

Andrew is in 4th and has two teachers. He has a couple of friends from around the neighborhood he was able to hang out with. He is excited about having his own locker.

Nobody had homework except me. About a year ago to this day, I bought a new house. At the title office there was an endless stack of papers to formalize the sale and legalize the conditions of the sale. I would prefer to do that every year, rather than back to school "closing." Each classroom had a separate set of classroom expectations which needed to be read and signed as well as filling out contact information for each of the teachers to keep in thier classrooms. Fine. But what set me over the top, was that I had to fill out the EXACT same forms I has already filled out for registration in the past month. Every one of them. WHY!!!? Then, after spending inordinate amounts of time doing school shopping (uniforms, supplies, and accessories) I get another list from each of Isaac's teachers (6?) of things he needs, because high school can't be made uniform like Elementary.

On the up side, high schoolers do not get endless lists of things they will never use which will be distributed to other students and/or hoarded by teachers. Claire and Andrew EACH had 72 pencils on their school list. 72! That's 2 per week of the school year! I remember going through as many as 4 pencils per year. Honestly! I sent my children to school with pencil bags full of miscellaneous Primary birthday pencils and novelty prints along with partly used yellow no. 2's from previous school years. And one new package of 10 for each. Let's see what gets confiscated and what they get to keep.

Anyway, it is now hours since I started this post. I have gotten 4 loads of laundry in and have 6 to go. My fans may notice that I am doing laundry on Thursday rather than the Monday I love. Back to school has me all out of whack. I am looking forward to settling into our routines.

Now I need to do my very own homework for my online classes. I have two writing assignments due by midnight, which includes 4 chapters of reading, which I have not been able to do because of internet issues and back to school busyness.

Time to get back to my life.

Five Thousand Miles

2009-08-14T08:17:00.004-05:00

In seventeen days we have covered 13 states and 5,000 miles. We helped my mom move everything out of her condemned house that she had moved into it a couple of weeks before. We stayed there in Kirksville and Brashear for a full day then took off for Nauvoo. That was only a couple of hours away. She is the backroad halfway point between Far West Missouri and Nauvoo. We arrived just in time for some of the pre-pageant activities and to get decent seats for the big show. It was pretty moving which is made all the more poigniant knowing that it was such a pivotal place for many of our ancestors.

We spent the night at the White House Inn on the main street of town. Nice place. Then we spent all the next day touring the sites and attending events. I got to talk to some of the pageant cast members who gave me some information that will help me finish putting my pageant together--hopefully. We ate dinner and headed out for an all night drive. I drove until about 11pm then mom took over. I traded back in the morning and we landed at Devanie's in the late afternoon.

We hung out for a couple of days. On Saturday Nathan's family wanted to get together, so we were invited to go with. We went to Jungle Jims indoor amusement park. It was essentially a souped up Chuck-E-Cheese with a couple of fair kiddie rides. The babies went on a mini-roller coaster and had a blast after the initial fear wore off. It was the merry-go-round that terrified Amelia. She didn't fuss, she just bugged her eyes and clenched her jaw while gripping the pole. We went to church with Devanie on Sunday.

On Sunday evening we headed up to see Kim and Gwen in Idaho. While there, we took some time to surprise Grandma Leavitt with a visit. She didn't recognize us at first. It has been a very long time since she has seen any of my kids. Mom insisted that I leave her and the babies there while the older kids and I went to Yellowstone the next day. It took four hours to get there. We drove the loop around the main park and saw all the major geyser basins. We waited a long time for Old Faithful, but it did not disappoint, despite all the pre-gush teasers. We "camped" in the park and were ready to tackle Uncle Tom's trail which leads to a pretty stunning view of the Yellowstone Grand Canyon the next morning. By then the kids felt like they had seen everything they needed to see, so we headed out. But we could not leave without stopping at the museum in West Yellowstone to see "Old Snaggletooth." My mom had told us about how she had heard about and seen him while she worked there in the summers during college in the sixties and was surprised to see him in the museum some years later when she went back to visit with her young family. He was killed by poachers according to the sign.

We went back to Kim and Gwen's to collect Mom and the babies and headed back to Devanie's. We spent Wednesday and Thrusday at the Lagoon amusement park with Mom, again, insisting on keeping the babies. Devanie and her kids were with us on the first day, but the second day it was just me and my older kids.

Friday we went to see my Uncle Jared and his kids at Twin Falls, Idaho. He has the best matched set of kids for mine. Tyler is a girl who is Emylie's age. Jayden is Claire's age and Jackson is close to Andrew's age. Isaac will always be the odd man out. Nobody was having boys when I was. While we were there, Lee Joe managed to bring his family to see us for a few minutes. We all went on a hike together. Instead of leaving like I planned to, we stayed one more night. That gave the kids the opportunity to ride the ATV's and motorcycles. Andrew even tried to learn how to ride Jackson's little 3 speed. I think that was one of their favorite things about the whole trip.

We drove all Sunday and got to Far West on Monday morning. Mom and I took a short nap. Mom and Dad Skembo had just arrived there themselves. They have spent all summer in Arizona taking care of Max and his medical needs. All of us decided to stay an extra day we just enjoyed each others company and helped a little around the store and on the farm. Tuesday I took Mom back to her house and came back for one more night of rest and to get all packed up. We left at 8am and got home around 6pm. Home seemed like such a foreign place, but the babies were so happy to see their daddy.

Now we have to clean out the van so I can find the data cable for my camera so you can see what I am talking about.

New Blogs

2009-07-20T18:32:00.002-05:00

I have added Claire's new blog to the feed on the side. She started it last month, but has not had access to it, and no one has commented on her posts because nobody knew about them.

I have also decided to start another blog of my own that will act, essentially, as a way to preserve my personal writings. Most of them at this time will be various written assignments for my college classes. They will be intellectually stimulating for those who are into that sort of thing.

2009-07-13T08:02:00.002-05:00

We went to Cedar Creek Lake this weekend with our friend Steve. His wife Lori is in Colorado trying to get away from the Texas heat--and taking care of the house they own there. Lexi and Mikey have been here for over a week now, so they came too. Elizabeth, Lexi's childhood BFF/sister came along as well. Since I nearly drowned at Paradise lake during a stake youth activity, I have not been that interested in swimming in natural bodies of water. I love a pool, for the indicators on the side that let me know ahead of time when I am in over my head. This weekend I waded in to my chest and held at least one of the babies the whole time we played--less than 2 hours. My arms are really sore because of it, but we did have a really good time. My shoulders are really pink now, too.

I don't know if I told you about my refrigerator. We got a new one for our anniversary on the 17th of last month. I woke up one morning and the old one had a burnt out light and the drink I poured for myself was not cold at all, so we thought the fridge was not working anymore. Mike had already found a new one he wanted, so he had it delivered. I later found out that the pitcher I had poured my drink from had been left out all night and Claire had put it in the fridge just before I came to the kitchen. Anyway, here is a picture of Anastasia in front of it. It has the lower drawer freezer, which I did not think I would like that much, but I do. It is very well designed.

Scott and Arren

2009-07-13T07:43:00.005-05:00

I finally got my camera loaded into the computer, so I have added a few pictures to posts you may have already read. Here are a few more in context.

Scott and Arren came for a visit from the other side of the world (Washington State). We went to visit Cash and Tara on the other side of the Metro and got a group shot. Mike is not in it because he was at work and I am not in it because I took the picture.

Tara had just gotten back from her first day of work after a medical leave, so she was really tired, but we had a wonderful time talking to them and they were very tolerant of the babies exploring the apartment living room. Jayden was the worst. Ha ha.

The next day, Arren and I went on a walk to the park with the babies. When we got home we realized Anastasia had thrown her shoe out of the stroller somewhere along the way. I left to retrace our steps and find the thing. It was hot and I'd had enough of walking so I took the van. Before I left, I sprained my ankle really badly, but Arren didn't know until I came back with the shoe and couldn't quite walk.

Run-in with the law.

2009-07-08T14:30:00.003-05:00

Fun Fourth weekend with just the six of us, rather than the ten of us. We went to the Fourth Breakfast, hung out for a little bit, went swimming, hung out a little bit, went to see a "display" of fireworks and joined with Lexi and Mikey's mom and her boyfriend to set off fireworks. We did not get to see the city fireworks, but we got instruction about city ordinances for fireworks. Apparently their subdivision is still in "city limits" and they had the police out in force. The whole collection of purchased fireworks was on the front lawn and was confiscated (to be used at an end of shift police celebration).

We wrapped up the fun and Mike went down the street to the fireworks stand and bought some fun of his own to be released in our neighborhood, which does not, as yet, have such restrictions on fireworks.

Mikey and Lexi are here for the week. Mikey and I are touring the world with a two-piece band. We got our plane last night. Now he needs to get off Tony Hawk so we can continue the tour. I completed a successful solo tour last week. We have gone swimming and to the park. The babies are looking a little brown and their blonde hair is a little brighter. My legs still have a bit of an iridescent cast to them, but the chalkiness is minimized. Lexi and I just got back from getting pedicures.

Life is pretty good. Love all the way around.

Me

2009-06-28T17:42:00.002-05:00

This website is about and for my family and friends. It is full of the conversational small talk of the comings, goings, and events of my family. Today, this is not for you. It is for me and it is about me.

I "read" Atlas Shrugged this week by Ayn Rand. I evaluated her philosophical concepts, appreciative of her thoughts and perspective. I got bored with the endless reiteration of her singular, minimally encompassing principle that the nobility of man's achievement must be each individual's choice solely for his enjoyment as his ultimate reward. I have loved discussing its strengths and weaknesses with my husband. He is the one who read it first and has been encouraging me to read it.

The biggest problem I have with it is that it reminds me that I have not matched the achievements I have aspired to. I have barely made significant progress. In so many areas and at so many times in my life I have studied something or done something that has opened my mind to my potential to contribute to that field or to the world in the utilization of any one of those abilities. Then I think, if I wear out my life to fulfill the sum of those abilities, I can't help but think that I would leave an indelible mark on the world when I leave it. It is not conceit or arrogance, but an awed humility that one small person could do so much.

But the wrenching agony of knowing and not becoming! "But you have 8 kids. Teaching them and taking care of them makes a difference in the world. Don't you value that role?" That role is valueless if I teach my children that they have the capacity to make a difference to change the world but not prove it by my actions, or at least write down the ideas for making it possible. If I only teach my daughters to be mothers and wives, I have taught them to be contracted and limited. It is our greatest power, but that power is magnified when it is not the only power.

The power to achieve the visions in my head does not lie solely in my power. My greatest frustration is that the skills and ideas I do have are not complete. They require other people who share my ideas and are committed to the achievement of it. I do not know who those people are. I do not know where they are. I do not know how to know who they are; to recognize their ability and invite their commitment. I have trouble believing that they will be true to the commitment because I do not expect anyone to be better than I am, and I have betrayed my commitments to myself again and again. And yet, I know that so many people are so much better than me in that regard. That is why I need them. I need to know that I am not the only one in this world who believes in my capacity and theirs. I need reinforcement. I do not need to learn endless new skills. I need to collaborate with those who already have the skills.

I suffer with loss. All the reaching thoughts I have had have been trusted to technology that has betrayed me by annihilating those thoughts, never to be retrieved again, or they have never left the recesses of my own mind and can no longer be retrieved.

This is not a post about depression and abandonment but an affirmation of hope and a commitment to continue the pursuit, regardless of the end result. The heights I might reach by falling short of the greatness I perceive within me will still leave me a place of honor and the patriarchal prophecy will be fulfilled that I will be called blessed by my posterity.

Keep moving forward, Janika. All things are possible. God will provide a way for you to accomplish the things which He has shown you you can be.

Bad Beginning

2009-06-20T00:01:00.004-05:00

Grandpa is in town for a couple of days. We took him to his semi-annual physical, he took us to Krystal Burger. He took the kids to see Up. We took him to see--um The Proposal. We started out with Year One, but the beginning was so bad we walked out. That was just in time to see the movie we had originally intended to see, but did not really want to wait for.

I finished my constitution class. I got a perfect score on my final, but it is not worth that much to me because the teacher only made generic comments and no markings on the paper. I got full marks throughout the course. I think I deserved them, but I can't help but wonder how easy it was for the other students to get full marks too.

I have already started my next class, which is history of education in America. I am looking forward to this course as well. I really like going to school, but I am trying not to put in so much effort so that I have time to do other things.

The babies had a horrible day today. No, I had a horrible day with the babies. There were only a few bad moments but the were momentous and bode very poorly for future days. The are climbing on chairs and then onto tables and spilling everybody's half-drunk drinks and pouring out half-bottles of pancake syrup for a little snack. Okay, it was mostly Amelia. But Anastasia went outside with me to get in the car before we took Grandpa to his flight physical and she shot off down the sidewalk and was to the opposite side of the neighbor's property before I could catch up with her. They have nearly figured out the divide and conquer method, where they split up and I can't grab both of them at the same time. It is time to break out the harnesses.

No, it's time for bed.

My Stomach Hurts Really Bad

2009-06-14T20:18:00.003-05:00

i
This weekend we took the kids to the mall--it's what everybody wanted. Lexi was not feeling well, but she figured she would not feel well whether she was at the mall or at home, so she, of course, opted for shopping. Even that could not hold her long. She kept getting sick and Mike took her home while we finished our shopping. The best deals were at Children's place, DEB and 579. Everybody got a little something--even the sick-o. She found the deals at DEB before she couldn't take it anymore.

She was asleep when we got home, but at 3 AM she came to our room crying. Mike took her to the hospital in Rockwall and called me throughout the night to update. She had a CAT scan to determine if it was ovarian cysts or appendicitis. It was appendicitis. I think it was around 9 that she went in for surgery and had her appendix removed.

I woke up not feeling well either. Lexi, Emylie and Mikey have recently had a 24hr. stomach flu. Emylie's came while she and Lexi were at girls camp, which they came back from on Friday. I was really tempted not to go to church, but Mikey and Claire had talks to give in primary and I had to direct choir before church. My blood sugar bottomed out and it was all I could do while I was leading the music during sacrament meeting to keep my arms moving--and, of course, I picked long songs this week. By the second hour, all of our obligations were fulfilled, and I was fading, so I got the kids out of their classes and tried to go home, but we stopped to see Lexi at the hospital. She was awake and doing pretty well. The did a simple 3-incision lacroscopic proceedure. She will be recovering at her mom's.

Mike was up all night and spent the whole day at the hospital except for the few minutes he squeezed out to come see Claire and Mikey's talks in primary. He came home around 7 and crashed. He will be back up at 5:30 so he can go see Lexi again before he goes to work. She will be released sometime tomorrow. Her mom will probably be there all day since she has the day off.

I added some pictures that Lexi took while we were sitting outside her mom's house after she got out of the hospital.

Life is good here. Thanks for asking.

Go Ni-Ni

2009-06-01T12:47:00.002-05:00

I am upstairs waiting for the babies to follow me so I can put them in bed for their nap. They follow me everywhere. I do not have to tell them to come. They are at the bottom of the stairs now. They are tired from jumping on the trampoline.

There's Amelia. She's always first. She loves her nap. Finally Anastasia.

I took them to nursery in the final hour of church. They have 4 more weeks before they are officially old enough to go, but they were wired, tired and hungry. I packed a snack for them and left it on the kitchen counter. We were just in time for snack in the nursery though. I stayed with them and watched them interact with the other kids. Peyton was really interested in them and kept touching them and getting close to them. But the babies were not as interested in her as they were in singing time.

Then during bubble time, I don't know the girl's name but she used to love on the babies when we first moved here, she gently came up to them, one at a time, time after time, and hugged them. Which was so sweet to see because before she knocked them over when they were barely able to sit up when she tried to hug them.

They had a great time. I would have gone to my class, but I was having so much fun in there with them. I had choir practice just before church and one person plus my accompanist (thanks Rachel) showed up in the last 15 minutes--which is 1/2 the time allotted to us. I have a 1/2 hour window to try to teach people a song. That is not much of a sacrifice. I think people are like me. It is hard to remember things. That is why I will be making phone calls next week before church.

The babies have been playing here long enough. Anastasia just said Ni-ni? I said, "you ready?" and they both marched into the bedroom. Oops, I just remembered I took everything off their beds to wash them today.

Claire's Birthday

2009-05-26T16:34:00.003-05:00

Next weekend is Claire's birthday, but her dad has her that weekend, so we celebrated with her this weekend. She is 11 now. She was complaining about not being able to go to girl's camp with Lexi and Emylie. I told her this would be the last year she did not go.

She wanted to see her old friends in Coppell, so we decided to have a party at the park we lived next to. Since she did not have contact information for most of those friends, we decided we would have a reverse surprise party. We knocked on the doors of all her old friends and said, "surprise! It's Claire's birthday. Want to come to our party?" Or something like that. Only her friends Lauren and Marissa (twin sisters) and two neighborhood boys and the family were able to come. The bulk of it was facilitated by our dear former neighbor, Sybil. She made cake and had balloons and streamers. I brought burgers and dogs to grill.

It was sprinkling before we started grilling. Then the sun shone magnificently for the party. Then, as soon as we had everything packed in the cars, a downpour began. I guess that was Claire's little birthday gift from Heavenly Father.

It was a lot better than what I got her. I was going to get her some of the advertised dollar flip-flops at Old Navy, but they were totally gone and had been for hours by the time we were done with all our fun. She did pick out a handbag while were were there (she already has 1/2 dozen of them). But wer were not able to find anything else in the remaining 1/2 hour of store hours. The store was a wreck after a major shopping day and finding anything was a bit of a challenge.

The kids had school off on Friday, and Claire asked me if I could come to her track and field day on Wednesday, so I figured I could come on Weds. and spend the night with my friend Theresa (who took me on the cruise) and her husband nearby and then take the kids home Thursday evening. I spent the day on Thursday working with Theresa in her yard and brought home a bunch of monkey grass. I only planted it along the back of the house until I could get the plastic border to plant it around my things out front. Three of my four new rose bushes are blooming. Myy friend, DeeDee gave me daylilies which probably won't do anything this year, but at least I have something besides the monstrous shrubs that the developers put in.

10 Minutes at the Park.

2009-05-15T16:07:00.006-05:00

Amelia is sitting on my lap with a fever and I can hardly see the screen because my eyes are so puffy and swollen with allergies, but I missed you, and I don't feel like cleaning anything. Anastasia was really fussy this morning and was better after I put some teething gel on the tiny spot of gum between her front teeth and molars. While I was at it, I put some on Amelia since they always cut their teeth together. That may be why Amelia has a fever.

I finished my anthropology class, but I did not post any of my writing from there and now I can't because ANOTHER computer had a breakdown. Fortunately my assignment was turned in before the failure. The problem is the power supply. It is like a car having a dead battery. The engine is fine but it won't start. We will replace the power supply as soon as we get paid. I had a dream last light the Mike said we got paid early and it was $3000. I was a little disappointed to wake up with only a memory.

I put the babies in the wagon this morning and took them for a walk to the park. It was a solid 10 minute walk, 10 minute play time and 10 minute trip back. Anastasia was a little more excited about climbing and sliding. There are no swings in the neighborhood : ( We got home in time to watch Backyardagains over lunch. Then it was nap time.

I am looking forward to the American Idol finale. Kris made it to the top two because Mike voted for him. Mostly, Mike was hoping that Adam would get the boot. He can't stand the theatrics and doesn't think that Adam is anything like a rock star. I think Adam is expressive and creative and that he has a great voice, but I agree with Mike that Kris has a much better chance of being a really successful artist. Adam will have a ridiculously loyal fan base but he takes too many risks and will not appeal to the masses.

Kris is an all-around guy-next-door CU! TIE! He just needs a good producer to guide him through the music selection process and he will be all over the charts. Did you notice, he plays piano AND guitar. He is a good all-around musician.

I think it would be great if he won, but he will probably be better off if he doesn't. Idol fails to maximize the success of their artists.

A Job!

2009-05-06T19:40:00.002-05:00

All the paperwork is signed, so Mike officially has a job. He spent Tuesday and Wednesday in Tyler (The lovely city in which we met 3 years ago this month) to do a network installation for the electric company's division there. He spent the night there last night because it was cheaper for the company to pay for a hotel than for gas 2 times. The babies are crying at my legs and trying to turn off my computer, even though I have spent more time playing with them and giving them attention than I have all week. It is 15 minutes till bedtime. They are bathed and ready. Once they are down it will be time for my American Idol results show, though I only saw Danny's performance last night, so I really don't know who to vote most likely to go home.

Alright, now I am typing with both of them in my lap and the screaming has not stopped. That means we flex on the 10 minutes till bedtime. It starts now.

Don't Mind Me, I'm Asleep

2009-05-03T23:59:00.003-05:00

I don't even know how long it has really been, and I am really too tired to post anything, but I'll give you a sloppy snack of Janika's Latest. Kids were all here this weekend and we got to have a little adventure. It rained off and on all day Saturday, getting progressively worse through the evening. The sky got darker and greenish. The rain came down really hard. Hard enough that the kids were done playing in it. It got so intense that we couldn't really see out the window. But the kids were able to see well enough to know that the trampoline had been picked up by the wind and got its legs dropped out of their sockets. Our eastern fence blew over and the western one had a little more lean than it used to have. Our neighbors behind us got one of their fences knocked over too.

When it died down, the girls went outside to tell our eastern neighbor that their dogs were out and our fence was down. They worked together to put it back up. They said one of the neighbor ladies saw a funnel cloud and a bird get struck by lightning and explode. Don't know about all that, but there was flooding and a whole lot of fences and signs down this morning.

We never lost power. We heard at church that some people did, but they were not in our neighborhood.

This is the last week of my anthropology class, so I have a term paper due this week, so I will not be likely to post here in that time, unless I put up some of my anthropology discussions like I have been thinking of doing.

Now I have to convince my husband to go to bed.

But Hopeful

2009-04-22T09:47:00.002-05:00

My brother-in-law is showing responsiveness and has been given tons of love and attention by family and local church members. Progress was most noticeable after a recent fast. Mike's relief is visible. I can see the burden lift from him. We are still tense, but not depressed.

I am taking Cultural Anthropology right now. I like it, but mostly I like being intellectually engaged. It is almost 10 AM and I have not heard the babies. I am sure they woke up this morning, but fell back asleep. They walk all over the place now. Their vocabulary is increasing. They are good at "bunny" and "bird" because that is what they always see out the kitchen window as they eat. Which is also why I have not planted a garden this year like I intended to. We have 3 bunnies that spend a lot of time in our yard. They would eat my garden all up, and I couldn't make a fence for it this year.

Time to check on the babies and eat breakfast.

Not Good

2009-04-15T17:34:00.002-05:00

I am only a third-hand source for information on Max, but it would seem that it is time to step up the prayers. The doctors say that his rate of progress is such that his chances of coming out of the coma are very thin and that his brain damage is extensive enough that if he does come out that he could require full-time care.

Medical miracles are almost common. It is possible that the doctors could be wrong, but we have to be prepared for either possibility. There are heavy decisions to be made. Please pray for the decision makers (Craig, Consie, and the doctors) that they will get all the information they need and know what is best. Pray that they will have insights into the Lord's will for Max and the family, and that we will have the strength to accept it. I am still praying for a miracle, though.

In Case You Didn't See

2009-04-14T08:43:00.002-05:00

These pictures are from our visit to the museum of flight at Dallas Love field and are the property of Corrie Alvarez. They are bigger on Facebook, but I don't know if you can access them without her being your friend, except the ones she has tagged me in.

This Week

2009-04-06T08:33:00.003-05:00

The girls are walking more than crawling now. They have started mothering their baby doll. When they are in their car seats, they will sometimes reach out and hold each others hand and giggle at each other. They can reach to climb onto the couch now.

Amelia is very verbal. She likes copy what I say. She imitates sounds--anything she hears--and likes to make up her own streams of gibberish. She also loves to sing along whenever there is music.

Friday was Mike's Birthday. I bought him a cheesecake and "took him" to dinner at Razoo's (Cajun food for non-locals). The batter fried green beans were good. Mike had the gator tail (not a catchy non-descriptive name like buffalo wings, but literal gator tail) because that is his favorite, and the only place to really get it. Steve and Lori (old friends from Mike's Colorado days) joined us for that and gave Mike an iTunes gift card--very nice.

After that, Mike picked up Mikey and Steve and Lori came over to our place for a bit to play Rock Band. The newbs held their own very well. We had to call it off before too long, though because I was singing too loud and the babies couldn't sleep in those conditions. They had come over earlier in the week to eat dinner with us as well. It is really nice to have friends around.

The next morning I woke Mike to tell him that his parents were on the way to AZ to be with his youngest brother Max, who had been discovered on the roadside, not breathing after a motorcycle accident. The paramedics revived him, but he has been in a coma all along. They took him into surgery and removed some skull to relieve the pressure on the swelling brain. I just now got the message that his MRI shows a lot of blood clots. The doctor is not hopeful, but hope is all we have.

I am trying not to get wrapped up in future possibilities, but that means holding our breath and living moment to moment. Not knowing is the hardest part. Pray for all of us to have the strength to accept Heavenly Father's will, and that His will might include some level of recovery.

Easter Bunnies

2009-03-31T22:15:00.003-05:00

We have bunnies that live in our back yard. Anastasia likes to watch them from out the window. They have a better view when they are in their high chairs. Two Sundays ago Anastasia made major strides in walking on her own. While Mike was gone to Utah to fetch some printing equipment with a friend for his business, she has made the transition from being a crawler to being a walker.

Amelia will stand up and walk on her own, but she is still pretty convinced that crawling is the way to go. She is also much more interested in raising her arms and getting people to carry her where she wants to go.

They have also both cut all four of their 2-year molars. When I was their age, I had 4 teeth total. What is silly, though, is they refuse to chew. They like to shove a bunch of stuff in their mouths and just swallow.

Their nap schedule has been off since daylight savings time. They are cutting back on the number of hours they sleep and are loosing a little of their baby pudge. Did I ever tell you I gave them their first haircut? Mike was not happy, but I am glad they no longer have a kentucky waterfall.

They fight over toys now--or over mom. They are doing a little bit of hitting and pushing. Then, sometimes when they play, one will be silly enough to stick her finger in the others mouth. She ends up crying. But they also giggle and hug each other, and will even comfort one another when one is sad.

Well over a month ago, I went to Emylie's Solo and Ensemble festival. She got a 1 on her solo. I snapped a few while she was hanging out with her friends. Andrew and Claire are the ones without matching shirts. The girl on the left is Emylie's buddy Samantha. Emylie has the short hair and choker.

Disconnected

2009-03-27T21:47:00.002-05:00

It has been a really long time since I blogged. A big part of that is because my internet provider went out of business. Every month we have a 24hr minimum outage. If it happens over the weekend, it will not be taken care of until mid-day Monday. My jobless IT skilled husband has gone up to the office and offered his expertise for hire every time this happens.

Service went down early Thursday evening. Mike went up Friday morning prepared to actually go to work and not take no for an answer, but they brushed him off again. When we still did not have service on Monday, he went back and the office was closed--permanently. Thank goodness the credit card had a glitch when he tried to pay them, or we would be out 50 bucks for no reason.

The reason we went with that company in the first place was that our homeowners association has blocked the major providers out here, so there are only 3 choices--2 now. He found another company and pressed them for immediate installation. They got it set up on Wednesday--just short of a week after the other went down indefinitely.

Mike spent some time tracking down the Homeowners Association to complain as well. He was told that when they laid out the development, they installed fiber optics and are working on a contract with Verizon for FiOs delivery.

In the meantime, Mike and I got so behind on our online school work that we had to drop the classes. I can't describe the emptiness I felt not being connected to the world.

Spring Break

2009-03-19T00:40:00.002-05:00

Everybody is here for spring break. But I don't really have a spring break for my online classes. So I don't have anything like a break. Claire is not feeling well today and the babies are still off and on with...uh...loose bowels.

Amelia had to be changed during Sunday school after I had been bragging about how I hardly knew where the changing tables were in our new building because my babies just didn't usually do that at that time of day. It wasn't a big mess, but there was a penny in her poopy panties. Last week Anastasia ate a bracelet. I thought my daughter had turned into an oyster and was turning out pearls, but those pearls I preferred not to fish out.

Perhaps this implies that my daughters need more supervision. Or that my house needs more keeping. But maybe I just need more help.

Life Beyond Blogging

2009-03-10T21:28:00.005-05:00

One of the most important things I have had to do that has kept me from blogging, is get the final achievement in Hexic on the XBox. I can't explain the compulsion of it. I only wish the truly important things in life were as compelling. But I succeeded in getting over 2 million points after creating 6 black pearls and joining them in a circle. And, yes, I am a better person for it.

It was in pursuit of that goal that I noticed how quiet the kitchen was. As I expected, both babies had fallen asleep over their animal crackers.

They also have become afficianados of the Xbox themselves. I let them play with the uncharged extra controllers and the push the buttons. They cuss (euphamistically of course) and cheer the game like I do.

My digital achievements pale in comparison to the relief of getting our tax return. With 2 new baby deductions for 08, and a new home deduction, we are sitting pretty. Well, we would be if we weren't so far behind from being out of work for the past 6 months.

The girls can both walk, but do not. They still think crawling is a lot faster. They are 14 months old and one day. They h-a+ve bee+n really fu+ssy the+*96+st*9*99999 past few days because they have messy sick.d It has been really hard for me to get anything done. That was Anastasia's signa-ture, by the way. I don't know where Amelia is, but I am sure the click of the keyboard will lure her soon enough.

I missed sacrament meeting on Sunday because of stupid daylight savings time. Apparently they just decided to go with the songs the previous ward had used on the board, and I have no idea who ended up leading the music (because that is all my job, see).

I gave the babies their first hair cut yesterday. They do not have their cute little curls anymore, but they no longer look like they have mega-mullets. I am trying to help their short top hair catch up with their long back hair.

It was almost too warm here last week. I actually had to use the A/C. Now the heater is back on because we got a very wet cold front. We had tons of rain yesterday (2.6 inches). So I am stuck in the house, bored out of my mind while Mike parties in Denver because he had to go up there and pay a traffic ticket in person. They told him he would just have to pay and that would be the end of it, but they told him when he got there that he needed to appear in front of the judge and they needed 3 business days to get the paperwork together and set the date. We cannot afford to have him going back and forth, so he pushed them on the time frame and will be there until Monday, which will be nearly a week since he left.

I have actually talked to people on the phone lately more than read blogs. It is a kind of nice change, but I miss reading everybody else's. I am really far behind now.

I am enjoying my math class because I don't have the textbook everyone else has, so to make up for it, I have just been looking up stuff on the internet and came across coolmath.com Great website for all types of math. Get your kids on it. Tell them they can't play video games and surf the net until they have spent a certain amount of time on it--I'll tell you if that actually works for me over spring break.

I am going to grab some pictures for you and then I need to find both of the babies. I just remembered I left my bedroom door open.

Blasee

2009-03-03T22:41:00.002-06:00

I made it through my first week of online math class--not sure if I passed it, but I made it through.

I have a few pictures to post, but I do not have the camera up here. I noticed that it has been a while since I posted anything, and I wanted to let you know that I still think about you and love you. After I check my email, I may read some of your blogs, but I doubt it, since it is after 11 right now and I did not get to sleep until after 3:30 am "last night."

I am profoundly grateful for the blessings of hot water and central heating. We were without for nearly 5 days. There is no good reason why. Suffice to say, I hate my gas company. Still I love my modern luxuries.

Yep, I am falling asleep as I type. Time to go.

Trouble, Trouble

2009-02-24T09:42:00.002-06:00

That's right, double trouble. Anastasia has taken several steps completely on her own, but they are still quite hesitant to walk. Maybe they spend too much time in slippery footed pajamas. When we we hold their hands to have them walk, she says "wakwakwak." But none of that is really any trouble.

The trouble is, our electronic components are all at eye level for them, and they love buttons and lights. We moved the coffee table to in front of them to deter them, but since it is a lightweight bamboo, they have figured out how to push it out of the way. They know now when they are doing something wrong and will check to see if I'm looking before they get into stuff. If they find that I am looking they rush doing whatever troublesome thing they were going t-o do so they get in as much trouble time as possible before I get to them.

Remember, there are two of them. One will be told no and be removed from the place she is not supposed to be and the other one will rush to it and make sure that the rules apply to her to. This is what is commonly known as a tag team. -**-*-* that is Amelia- tou-chi+ng the+8 +-88keyboard while I try to hold Anastastia off and continue typ*ikn*g. Fun game she -thinks.

Now you know why I don't blog so much these days. Today, though I am also starting back to school, so that is one more reason to be on the computer and not blog. I will probably post writing assignments for you on occasion, but my first class is math, so I would++ not expe+*ct to have much of interest to post on that. (The extra baby type is less because- th-e*+y-********************ach- +++++++++++++++ HAD been pulling everything out of the desk drawer.

Love y'all

Where is Everyone?

2009-02-19T09:03:00.003-06:00

I think blogger is getting a lot less activity these days. I know I have been kind of out of it and my regulars have not been commenting as much as they used to. But I'm here anyway.

I am starting back to school next week. It is a good way to keep from having to repay my student loans. My degree will be in organizational management. I don't know how much I have left to do, but it should be getting pretty close--especially if I test out of some of my general courses. I just hate the headache of filling out the financial aid paperwork.

Friday I will be going to support Emylie in her Solo and Ensemble competition. Saturday my voice student will have hers. This is the first time I have taught one-on-one voice lessons. It was a bit of a challenge for me to translate my own skills into lessons. How do I sing? I don't know, I just always have. I think she got something out of it, though.

Isaac's birthday is on Friday. He will be 15. I am not sure what we are going to do, but he will be here with me.

Before

2009-02-16T08:14:00.002-06:00

Just for the record, both Anastasia and Amelia could dance before they could walk. They have excellent balance and will stand unsupported (usually with something in their hand for security) and bob up and down or sway from side to side. And yet they refuse to take more than half of a step.

They are 13 months old and have yet to be determined to walk. I really would prefer not to carry around 23x2 lbs. regularly. I do have a little bit of extra tricep bulge, but I would rather have the weight training be purely optional and not mandatory.

They are starting to really play with each other. I have not captured any of it on film, but but I say "Say Hi sis!" and stick them together and they put their heads together and giggle at each other. They have started hugging and tugging at each other. Amelia is really cuddly and she will initiate loving on her sister. They aw sigh and laugh at each other as they do it.

They also are picking up a whole bunch of words and actions. Whenever we are sitting at the table to eat, when there is a lull in the "conversation" they will look to the window and woof at the sound of the neighbor's dog. They can also say dog. We are working on bird and "tweet." They are starting to mimic hand actions to Popcorn popping on the apricot tree.

But, again, for the record, they could sing before they could talk. They have ah ah ah'ed little pitches in response to my singing to them for a long time.

They have both overcome their fear of navigating the stairs from the top, so they are downstairs playing the piano this morning while I am up here blogging. I suppose I should do something about that. Bye

Rain!

2009-02-09T09:33:00.002-06:00

Last night around 5 am it started raining. I have been hoping for that all week. I have some berry bushes to plant and I want the ground to be soft and delicious for the little sprigs. I am yearning to do yard work. It has been 3 years since I've gotten involved in my flower beds. I also hope to plant a few vegatables this season.

I do fear that spring has come to Texas. Puxatawnee Phil is on the east coast. What does he know about Texas? The cold happened in December. My heating bill was lower in Jan, and I haven't turned on the heat here in 5 days. I expect there will be a few more cold fronts this season, but I am seeing some ant activity and the amount of green grass in my back yard is increasing. I only fear that because it means having to worry about pest control and A/C sooner. But I am looking forward to planting and digging in my new yard and making it distinct from those of my neighbors with colorful blossoms instead of this bland contractors landscaping.

I hope we have a really wet spring, because it has been a really dry winter.

Glory, Glory, Halleluia!

2009-02-04T10:15:00.002-06:00

In The Overworked American by Juliet B. Shore, she reports a study on the usefulness of household appliances, and their ability to reduce the number of hours a woman spends doing domestic tasks. "Studies of US women also found that those with more durable equipment in their homes, work no fewer hours than those with less. Only one major appliance has been shown to save significant amounts of time (the microwave oven). Some actually increase housework (freezers and washing machines)." (p. 88)

If you will recall, it was several months ago that I reported our microwave had blown up and was no longer working. Shortly after we contacted Maytag who sent someone to look at the microwave and repair it. That was in October.

By the way, the reason the Maytag Man of commercial fame does not have anything to do, is not because the machines never need repairing, but he was fired. There is no such thing as a Maytag man. Maytag contracts their repairs through private companies.

So after 2 different repair companies, 5 different service calls, 10 replacement parts (and 5 back order holds on those parts), 3 major holidays (and 3 minor ones), and, most notably 4 months without a microwave, glory be! we have a fully operational machine again.

We celebrated by popping a whole box of microwave popcorn. My babies can have warm baby cereal in 9 seconds, instead of me having to let the water run until it gets hot. I can defrost meat that I need for dinner right now since I never think of it ahead of time--again, I save time and water by not having to thaw it in the sink. My husband can have his beloved melty cheese hot dogs. I can use the storage containers I put my leftovers in to reheat them instead of having to dirty a pan to warm it on the stove (which usually means having to wash it out first, since I have such a limited quantity of cookware). 1-2 minute reheat calculates to much less than all of that.

In short, I was skeptical of the findings of the study when I read it a decade ago. Though I was able to maintain food quality and care without a microwave, I am satisfied that there is some validity to the conclusion that the microwave is an actual time saver, and I am ever so thankful to have one that works.

Baby's Got Bum Bum

2009-01-29T11:57:00.006-06:00

This is how they sleep in the morning. I usually do not peek in on them until I hear them, but this day we had a lot of things to do, so I went in to make noise.

The camera is the kind of noise that wakes them up. They have gotten to the point where they realize posing for pictures is appropriate. *Snap* *shing* "Someone wants to take my picture? Why yes you may."

By the way, I am really irritated with the way my layout is publishing, but I have no interest in taking the time to play with it. You have a ton of pictures to look at, so quit complaining. I know, I am the one who is complaining, but I can project myself onto you if I want.

Is that a Skembo, or what? I don't know if it is Craig's baby picture or Consie's, but I call her Anastasia, and I pretend she's mine.

Same Box; Different Day

2009-01-29T11:46:00.003-06:00

Sure it looks like the same pink outfit in all the pictures, but it is not.

It is better if you click on the pictures and get the full size image to see how ADORABLE these kids are, all the way down to their rosy, chapped little cheeks.

Their cutness today is only slightly minimized by nasal drip. They have what Mike and I had, but other than sinus issues and a little more neediness they are okay. We just have to keep them hydrated and their noses cleared out so that crud doesn't get into their lungs and cause problems.

Babies in a Box

2009-01-28T11:58:00.003-06:00

I have been working on refinishing the remaining DRMO bookcases that I bought for $9 each when I lived at Ft. Huachuca 14 years ago. The lighter one has been sanded, but I ran out of stripper and coarse sandpaper, and my one-coat stain and polyurethane is too thick to work properly anymore. I guess that is what happens when you put off projects for so long. Neither bookcase is completely done, but I am just going to make use of them as is.

Of course, you would never have known about the project and its incompleteness and failure, but for the artsy backdrop it is to curious, playful babies.

They are too young to learn miming "stuck in a box" so I am training them to do it for real while maintaining the theatrical "fourth wall."

I started this post 24 hours ago, but I did not finish it because I got stuck playing Hexic. It is a bitter truth: brightly colored hexagons have taken priority of my beloved blog readers. What have I become?

Got a game I gotta play. Peace out.

Birthday Cake

2009-01-25T17:39:00.003-06:00

As a special birthday present, I let the girls lick the frosting beaters. Between the two of them, they could not blow out a candle, though they have started blowing on their food when it is hot and they can blow simple woodwind instruments for music.

They really liked their chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting. Because I am a person of integrity, I will record for history that that the Birthday Cake came a few days after the actual birthday. I refused to have anything like a birthday party for people who had no idea what birthday even meant. Yeah, this is not my first child's first birthday. We get more reasonable with experience. Doesn't mean we love the kids less. This time I am just saving up Birthday excitement for kids who appreciate it. I burnt myself out on birthdays before the kids have memories to appreciate it.

Physical Therapy

2009-01-25T17:17:00.008-06:00

Just before Christmas, I took pictures of the girls at physical therapy. Christen does the work on Anastasia, and Lyndsay plays with Amelia. We spend about an hour there. About as much playing goes on as anything else.

You can see Anastasia's new collar as she eats grahm crackers, and Amelia as she pretends to need the head straightening collar. Actually, I have tried to start playing the game with them both where you tip your head to the side and mimic each other so that Anastasia will voluntarily learn how to use those muscles. The muscles is stretched enough to give her full range of motion, but it still too weak to help her keep her head upright. The whole point of the collar is to create something irritating that she wants to pull away from, thus strengthening that muscle. She is supposed to wear it for 2 hours, 2 times a day.

Ketchup

2009-01-21T14:59:00.002-06:00

Just to catch you up on my week. I have not blogged because I became addicted to Hexic. My thumb hurts from using the XBox controller so much. I hate myself. I don't have things in my life that I am addicted to. I know the things I could get addicted to in a hurry, and I usually avoid them altogether. I was not strong this time. Now I must pay the price. Apart from the self-loathing, there is the knowledge that all that time spent could have been used to complete any number of projects that I have been working on or have hopes of doing.

There is a small advantage to having played the game. My spatial visualization skills have improved and I have been able to work out some staging problems with the theatrical production I am working on. Another advantage is the bonding I have had with my husband. He thinks it is funny. He encourages me because I don't get on his case so much when I am so obviously flawed myself. The trouble is, we stayed awake too long, way too many nights with one playing it online and the other on the XBox. I have had the highest score so far, but I take a lot of time to calculate my moves. He can score almost as high without taking the amount of time I do.

In other news, the motherboard failure caused the loss of all data on the two hard drives it was attached to. The good news is that we had not been using that computer for long, and did not have a ton of data on it. To clarify, that was Mike's new self-built computer. MY computer that I have had since 05 crashed when we moved and we still have not hooked up the hard drive to see if that data has survived.

One thing that is obvious is that I need to post more pictures more often so that fewer are lost should such a thing happen again. Mostly, I am endeavoring to have hard copies of all my pictures--which I had actually started doing before Mike's crash. Today, however is not the day for me to post those pictures.

Anastasia was fitted yesterday for a Tot Collar to help her strengthen the muscles on the left side of her neck. Physical therapy has given her full range of motion, but she does not have the strength to move it herself.

Both of them are adorable, though as they nod their heads yes and no. Amelia goes nuts with it. Sometimes it is in response to a question, sometimes it is headbanger dancing. Whenever they are watching adults talk and they start nodding in acknowledgement of each other, the babies raise their eyebrows and start bobbing their heads as well. They are picking up on so much so fast. We were pretty sure that Amelia was going to walk first, but Anastasia is catching up.

This morning the girls were helping me wake Mike up. I put Amelia on the bed and told her to kiss Daddy. She moved to his face and made the kissie sound without any visual cues from me or him. She knew exactly what I was talking about and did it.

4 of the 6 In and Out Kids were here the extended weekend. I played Legos with Andrew and helped the girls sort out their clothes. The babies love having their siblings around. Isaac's new friend, Colton went to church with us on Sunday. They were together all weekend.

My belly is full from a big fat homemade bacon cheeseburger. That's the end of Ketchup.

First Birthday

2009-01-12T09:08:00.003-06:00

Anastasia and Amelia are now one year old. Sunday was their first birthday. They got new Sunday Dresses. While they were sitting at the breakfast table dad and mom spoke in our high pitched voices with our smiles and eyebrows raised and said "Happy Birthday" at the same time, and the knew it was a special day. They smiled with ignorant innocence at our antics and sensed that something very special was happening. Then it was over. They returned to manipulating cheerios with their chubby little hands, maneuvering the cereal into their rounded mouths.

After church we did video instant messaging with Grandma Skembo. After their late nap they were very grumpy and remained that way most of the evening, so I just held them both in my lap in the recliner and watched Thomas S Monson on BYUTV.

The days become months, which become years that are remembered in brief moments and mostly lost to our view, but love remains.

All Day

2009-01-10T19:16:00.003-06:00

The whole day was wasted. Utterly wasted. I wanted to be creative with my blog, but after searching hours for the right template, I realized I was going to have to redo all my gadgets and blog lists, etc., so I decided not to do it. But I had already done the lethal editing that removed my existing blog except for the basic template. I figured, what the heck, if I have to redo it anyway, why not get one I like. I searched again. However, I could not get my computer to open any of the html text that I downloaded. It turned it into ridiculous gibberish. So after endless attempts and angles that I tried from to do something a little out of the ordinary, I ended up having to go back to a basic blogger template and recreate my blog rolls. I don't know who I might have forgotten, but I had to pull it all from memory. If you want to be on the list, let me know.

I figured it would be okay to have a basic template and I could personalize it with pictures, etc. However there is not a single personal picture on my hard drive. My entire library is in four hard drives, all of which are not connected to a functioning PC. So I could personalize my blog with the sample pictures that come in Microsoft OS packages. *Sarcastic half-smile with head tilt*

Enjoy all my new features *repeat*

*Later*
I grabbed a couple of pics from old posts. I realized I don't post pictures very often.

In Case You Were Wondering

2009-01-08T13:53:00.002-06:00

I'm still alive, but our main computer is not. My computer time has been limited, and I just haven't wanted to climb the stairs to the secondary computer. I spent yesterday in the car going to Anastasia's PT appointment, back home, and then to the other side of town, and Monday I spent all day doing dishes and laundry--7 loads to be exact. I am still trying to catch up on the house from the kids being here. To complicate, the babies have been a little fussy.

I have taken some pictures that I would love to post, but this computer is not good for that. Sure, I could do it, but it is just more work than I want to do right now.

Anastasia has two more teeth on the bottom for a total of 8 in her mouth. Amelia probably has a few days before hers come out. It seems that Amelia is one of those kids who will be regularly marred. Andrew always had a knot on the left side of his forehead. Amelia has her third black eye in two months. Even her 4 month baby pictures have a scratch below her eye.

I could do more of what I need to do if I woke up a little earlier. That would be easier if my husband would let me go to bed a little earlier. At least the babies are sleeping okay at night.

Blah blah bye blah

Vacation

2009-01-03T08:36:00.002-06:00

The kids have been here all week. It has been blessedly uneventful. Everyone is getting along beautifully. The weather has been gorgeous, so the majority of getting along has happened outside. Isaac found a best friend down the road. Many of the neighbor kids hang out in our back yard on the trampoline. There are not very many trampolines on this block.

The babies have adapted to the commotion and are taking their regular naps and sleeping at night. They love their siblings. I am not looking forward to having to fill the void of attention they have become accustomed to when everyone is gone.

Now I have to go make breakfast for everyone so we can spend the day touring downtown Dallas for our last full day together.

It's Over

2008-12-29T10:03:00.002-06:00

Greeting cards have all been sent (not by me, of course), the Christmas rush is through. Our delayed Christmas is over with no fanfare. The kids are all here for the whole week. Isaac will be going to the New Year's eve dance and the girls will be going to stay the night with our next door neighbor from Coppell. We will probably play games with the two remaining boys after we get the babies in bed.

I really like New Year's Eve. There's not as much hype as with Christmas, so there is less let-down if it doesn't turn out. As a young person it was great to be able to stay up so late for it. Even though I stay up till midnight pretty regularly, there's just something about New Year's that makes me happy. I like the idea of big get-togethers and organized parties, but if that doesn't happen we can just watch parties on TV.

Maybe it is just all the great memories of playing Monopoly and whatever with friends, or going to the church dances, or there was the year I spent at Disneyland. More recently I went to my friend's anniversary ball and got to party with my husband for the first time. That is one of my favorite memories with him so far.

Then there is the anticipation of the coming year and the sudden (if unfounded) belief that empowering change is possible. I don't know. I just like it. Have a wonderful and blessed new year.

Christmas Ditty

2008-12-24T19:36:00.003-06:00

I love Christmas and I love all of my faithful readers (and even my unfaithful click-by's), so I wanted to give you a little something. I had the idea to do this a couple of days ago, but I couldn't do it while the babies were sleeping because they would wake up, and I didn't want to do it while they were screeching in the background. Since Christmas is upon us, we just have to take what we can get, so I let them screech in the foreground. You probably wanted to see them more than you wanted to see me, anyway.

Have a most Merry Christmas. And be excellent to each other.

My Honey

2008-12-22T16:40:00.004-06:00

I took the big girls to the mall recently. Their main hope was to find Twilight T-shirts. As I was looking at the group shot T-shirt, it struck me that Emmett looked a lot like the pictures of Mike as a strapping young man that I had been looking at over Thanksgiving. Maybe you can't see it, but I can fantasize.

Family Reunion Revisit

2008-12-17T16:13:00.004-06:00

My family met Marla's family for the first time last year when we went to Utah for the Lay family reunion. Yeah, that's how long it takes me to upload a video.

Some Dinosaurs are scarier than others. And some people are sillier than others. It's a magical leopleuridon, Charlie. He's showing us the way. Thomas, sorry about the rated ex content.

The Truth About Blending Families

2008-12-16T10:37:00.002-06:00

This is stinking hard. It doesn't matter how good the kids are, how everyone gets along or how much you all love each other, there will be conflict. When there are only four days a month that everyone is together, progress in conflict resolution is exceptionally difficult. That is compounded by the fact that there are other parties involved outside the home who have concerns about the children, and often differing views that may be in direct conflict with your own goals and resolutions.

Fairness. It doesn't matter how hard you try, the biological children or the step-children will feel like you are showing favoritism or being somehow unfair. You absolutely cannot discipline a step-child as severely as you do your own children because the history of love isn't there to balance out the severity, so any correction to the step kids makes you the wicked stepmother. Then, because you are not as harsh with them, your own children feel like you love them less. Somehow balancing that is an extraordinary feat.

But the children are the smallest part of it. The biggest problem is having two different child rearing perspectives (same as any parenting relationship) and then having experience-reinforced child-rearing opinion. That may not be such a problem in a relationship with passive, amiable people. Two stubborn thick-heads in this situation multiplies the difficulty. Mike and I spend an average of 20 minutes every weekend that the kids are here, locked up in our room discussing how to deal with a child or situation. It is rarely a calm discussion.

It's just stinking hard.

It Starts

2008-12-10T14:58:00.003-06:00

Everyone says "Twins, how do you do it?" I say: After the third month it was easy. They hold their own bottles, put food in their own mouths and just play together. It is a lot of fun.

That was before yesterday. Amelia* was listening to her echo as she yelled into an empty pitcher. A short while later, I heard the same sound, followed by sloshing. I followed her the sound to the bathroom where she had finally discovered the toilet. I knew this was coming. So I wash her hands and take off her wet shirt.

I was trying to put away dishes from the dishwasher. Anastasia figured out that she could open the cabinet any time she wanted. Both of them decided to pull out the contents of it.

While I am still trying to clean the kitchen and decide what to make for a dinner, I hear a tinkling sound that I expect is a spoon on a glass bowl. I didn't worry about it because it sounded like she was on the floor by the dining room table, but I couldn't think of why the bowl would be there. Still I continued to work.

The sound of breaking glass sent me running. Anastasia had pushed my ice cream bowl from the night before off of the couch and onto the concrete. How she got up on the couch, I don't know. I put her down and grabbed the broom and dustpan.

Before I can get that done, I hear Amelia screaming in the kitchen. Trash is scattered on the floor and she has her finger stuck in the partially intact raw-edge lid of a tin can. I take it out. No blood. I clean up the trash and put in a new bag as quickly as I can so I can get back to the broken glass before they do, and make sure they don't undo the trash again before I can finish the glass.

Once the glass is cleaned, I sit on the couch, TV on with both babies in my lap and wait for Mike to get home.

*The names given here may not reflect the actual perpetrator, but a close approximation.

Tall Enough for Trouble

2008-12-08T13:33:00.004-06:00

Have I mentioned yet that the girls absolutely love the phone. Some of you have even received calls from them. It was the first thing they ever fought over. They are getting strong enough to play tug of war with each other and the phone.

The issue is compounded by them being old enough now to reach the height of the average table. This was when we were still in Missouri.

I put lights up outside my house on the trees, hedges and garage door. It was pretty easy because the trees are only a few years old. I won't take pictures because it is exceptionally unimpressive.

How to Tell Who's Who

2008-12-03T08:26:00.005-06:00

People always ask me how I tell the twins apart. Simply put, every once in a while, I endanger one so that she gets an injury, making it obvious who is who. But I make sure that both are neglected equally. This time it was Amelia. She fell off Grandma's bed and met a nightstand or something on the way down. The pictures in blue are before it happened.

Anastasia is just plain silly. They ate a lot of bread and potatoes while we were there. Obviously my little chubbies are not on a low-carb diet.

Far West Missouri Farm Fun 1

2008-12-02T20:25:00.003-06:00

The first day we spent on the farm, Grandpa saddled up the horses and worked with the kids on them a little bit. Shortly thereafter he stepped in a mole hole and twisted up his ankle. That made the whole week a little less fun for him.

The next day Mike arrived with Mikey and Lexi and Mike saddled up the horses to let the kids and himself ride. I didn't manage to because I was making pie and taking care of babies. Consequently, I did not get any pictures of them.

Was it then Thanksgiving that I finally got to ride? There was plenty of time to because when we got our late start (10am on dressing the turkey) and although the turkey had been in the fridge 3 days, it was still pretty frozen. Then, although we preheated the oven we did not put the turkey in for another 40 minutes. Then after we put it in, one of us (probably me) managed to turn off the oven. A few hours later the whole thing was still cold. We finally ate around 7.

Far West Missouri Farm Fun 2

2008-12-02T12:08:00.003-06:00

The golf cart is the way to get around on the farm--Especially when you are saddle sore from trying to control a stubborn, green broke horse. Unfortunately, no one waited for Lexi, so she is walking bow-legged down the hill behind Emylie.

Grandpa and Mike let the kids do a little shooting, but everyone had had their turn by the time I arrived with the camera. I was up in the farm house (soon to be Bed and Breakfast) trying to get the babies down for their nap and heard the guns going off. As far away as they were, it was loud enough I was afraid it would wake the barely sleeping babies. This was on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving.

Bed and Breakfast Progress

2008-12-02T11:58:00.004-06:00

It has been six weeks since I last visited Missouri, and progress continues on the Bed and Breakfast conversion.

The front gate has been converted into an ultra-classy wheelchair ramp that flows flawlessly into the flagstone patio.

While we were there, the trim around the porch was put up, so that wood is no longer visible.

There is a little wrap-around deck in back, and there will be a balcony above it. What was the porch is now a garage. I think all the siding had been installed by the time we left.

Why Am I Sitting in This Computer Chair?

2008-11-30T21:03:00.002-06:00

I drove all day yesterday, and today drove another 4 hours today to get the kids back to their dad's house. My joints are stiff and I am still a little saddle sore from Wednesday's horseback riding. I would post pictures, but I think my camera is out in the van, and I have no interest in going out to get it. I am waiting for my dear husband to return home. He is on his way back from Missouri a day behind me.

It will be so nice to be together in our own bed again. Last night when I got the kids home and into bed (around 10:30), I crashed and remember nothing until the alarm went off at 6:30--and I felt like I had hours yet to sleep. We were active and worked hard while we were with Mike's parents (that's what it takes to have a lot of fun) and our nights were fairly sleepless. We had the babies in our room, and they did not do well with all the commotion.

Once again, my tiny party animals want to be part of whatever is going on. Napping was very difficult for them, and when we were finally able to get them to sleep, it was on a king sized bed--that's safe, right? Nice and big. Amelia bailed onto the concrete and hit a nightstand or something on the way down. She's got a black eye. She's not a black guy. (Say it out loud and it will make sense, but you still won't get it because it is a private joke.)

Anyway, the weather was great, if not a little chilly. The work on the bed and breakfast continues (at 7 in the morning while we were trying to sleep in it). It will be great when it is up and running. I hope all of you who are remotely interested in Midwest LDS Church History vacations stop there in the future. Check the Far West Missouri link on the right for more info.

Like I said, we went horseback riding, played with the donkey, fed the pig, collected and ate eggs from the chickens (2 1/2 dozen deviled eggs for Thanksgiving), shot skeet--or tried, played Mexican Train dominoes, ate, made food, ate, made food, ate, wandered on 40 acres, made trips "to town" took turns babysitting, and hung out with Aunt Marissa, Grandma, and Grandpa.

Oh yeah, we went to see Twilight. That was just for the five of us who have read the book, but have not already seen it. (Grandma and Grandpa went to the midnight showing on opening.) The theater itself was a big part of the experience. It is such a small town that the movie theater is a corrugated metal warehouse with used seats from some other theater that had long since outgrown them. There were only two bathroom stalls made from 2x4's and pressed board (the not even plywood stuff.) It only took about 10 minutes in the theater to get used to the smell of urine--that or I just began to subconsciously think of the tiny town of Forks as a stinky place. As far as the movie itself, I didn't like Edward at all. He is unique looking, and acted well enough, but he's totally not my kind of gorgeous.

The movie stuck really close to the book, so if you like the book, you should like the movie. For a low budget, independent film it was great. I wish they had spent a little more money on getting a really good makeup artist. That may have been half of my problem with Edward. Anyway, it was fun going with Lexi, Emylie, and Marissa. Mostly, I loved being with my husband. It is so rare for us to be able to do things together. I love him. Speaking of which, he is still on his way home, and I am not quite ready for his arrival.

Hope you didn't miss me too much while I was gone. Good to be back with y'all.

Decorations Are Up

2008-11-21T13:00:00.007-06:00

The kids were here this weekend for the last time before Thanksgiving. Since we will be in Missouri for that, and it will be another 2 weeks after that before we are all together again, it was time to do our traditional put-up-the-tree Family home Evening. This year the kids and I crocheted a garland, instead of stringing popcorn.

I am so in love with my tree. It is full of red bows that symbolize being eternally bound to God through the blood of Jesus Christ, which purifies us, symbolized by the white garland. I still haven't bought the candy canes, though that will be generously interspersed among the other ornaments. They, of course symbolize the shepherd's crook, reminding us that angels came to the shepherds, announcing the birth of the Christ, and that Christ is, himself, the Good Shepherd. The remaining decorations on the tree include glass balls that make me think of the "worlds without number" that God has created.

Then, through all that, are ornaments that represent the years of my life. Some were school projects made by my children. Some we made together. Some are from friends and family. Each reminds me of a moment in time in this little life of mine.

When the kids helped me put the tree up and decorate it, it made more of a mess than anything. This is what it looked like on Tuesday afternoon.

A short time later, it looked like this. Once again, you have encountered a rare opportunity to see my house.

The wall was red when we moved in. It worked out okay, so we have not changed it.

Still Growing

2008-11-19T10:20:00.002-06:00

My babies are now tall enough to reach what is sitting on the edge of the table. We spent all day out yesterday, so they didn't get much sleep. We started Anastasia back on physical therapy. We took her to the craniofacial specialist to see if her head was lopsided enough to warrant a molding helmet. The answer was no (Yea!) She reinforced my opinion that the asymmetry on the back of her skull was not as bad as most torticolis babies because she was a tummy sleeper.

That is kind of a pet peeve of mine. The "back to sleep" SIDS campaign promotes back sleeping like it is the cure for SIDS, when so little is understood about the "disease." What is not explained in the campaign are the behavioral markers, etc that make it a real concern. Infants of a healthy weight, at birth and through gestation who have active neurological responses are at extremely low risk. Each parent has to evaluate the information and their children for themselves and make their own judgement. Skull formation was much more of a concern to me than SIDS (before I even knew Anastasia had torticolis) and she preferred sleeping on her tummy. On her back I was at risk for not being able sleep for any length of time. Having twins and a history of very negative effects of sleep deprivation on my mental and emotional well-being, I made the best choice for me and my children. The most important thing to remember about medical "recommendations" is that they are based on generalized and incomplete data. Parents have to make intelligent choices about what is best for their specific circumstances.

Anyway, the specialist recommended aggressive therapy to get Anastasia's tilt straightened out and thought that everything else was great. Christen is her therapist. They (everyone in the PT dept loves the twins) were so excited to have the babies back and were amazed how much they have changed in the month they were gone. They put Kinesia tape on her neck like you saw on a few of the Athletes during the Olympics. I totally don't get how it works. I just hope it means that it will help Anastasia be an awesome beach volleyball player. Okay maybe that is a distorted notion of causal relationships. Still...

Oh, we had our first frost here last Sunday. We are having a roller coaster of warm and cool days, but it is all fantastic, cool fall weather. We got snow last year, so I don't expect it this year.

What to Say?

2008-11-14T19:58:00.002-06:00

I haven't blogged for a couple of days, so it't time again, but I don't really have much to say. It is an all-the-kids-are-here weekend. Isaac is on a scout campout, but I fear lest he be rained upon and his tent blow away. It is getting very cold and windy out there. I did not realize how cold it was until I dropped him off. He should have brought an extra blanket.

A friend gave us a copy of the new World of Warcraft expansion. He is a devious, devious man, and I question the genuineness of his friendship, but I feel for his wife and will ever sympathize with her plight as a lonely WOWdow.

This weekend we are putting up the Christmas tree. Next weekend the kids will be here, we will hopefully be in MO for Thanksgiving, and we don't want to wait an additional 2 weeks after that, or I might as well be married to my ex who thought Christmas should wait for the passage of his birthday on Dec 7. Perish the thought!

In closing, there must be something I can say to remind you what a precious delight my babies are. Ah, yes. We have graduated to the forward facing car seat. They are now 10 months old and are demonstrating all the necessary skills to be part of our family (dance, rythm, and musicianship --on multiple instruments and voice, as well as remarkable intelligence with hints of athleticism).

I shall now go watch Napolean Dynamite, already in progress.

Day Trip With Kids

2008-11-12T11:14:00.003-06:00

This weekend has been pretty full. I know it's Wednesday, but I was on a roll and didn't want the weekend to stop.

I was supposed to have the kids this weekend, but Emylie had an all-region choir concert (middle school) in East Texas in the town I lived in before I got married two and a half years ago. Rather than bringing them to Dallas, I picked them up from their dad and we had a day together--except for Emylie who was in rehearsals. We had a picnic in the park and played on the playground. Babies got to swing go down slides, and ride Merry-go-rounds. We went to the train station, played in a caboose, and watched the people load on and off the Amtrak. We just happened to be in the right place at the right time. We drove by the old house, which still hasn't resold, even with a paint job because it is such a crappy structure. It is a great house, but it has so many problems. I got to see the flowers I had planted were still thriving.

It was funny going back. The kids were a little nostalgic. "Oh! I remember that when we always used to..." But the first thing they said was something to the effect that I had sure moved up. It really is a crappy little forgotten town. There is a lot of work going on to renew it, but you have to have an entire community who cares, and when 3/4 of the population is in poverty, there just are not enough resources to care.

When I got to Emylie, it was 20 minutes before she had to be lined up to get onstage. That was just enough time for me to find out that she needed black shoes and a skirt, which were not available at her dad's house. Fortunately, I knew where Wal-Mart was, dashed there, found the necessary items plus a dressy shirt for under $20 in 20 minutes. She was in the front row (I don't make tall kids). I was so glad to have been able to be there for her.

Afterward we went out for dinner and ate the pumpkin pie I had brought, which I spent an entire day making from scratch (including boiling down a pumpkin), because that is what Emylie always gets for her birthday. I gave her some art supplies as well. She has taken to sculpting. She is doing it "professionally" because her friends are willing to pay for the dragons she is making.

Isaac made it through a whole grading period at the top of his game. We are thrilled that high school has brought some maturity and responsibility. Funny thought: I have found a huge percentage of my friends from Whittell high school on Facebook. Many of them were freshmen when I was a senior. I now have a child that is the age I remember them.

Claire and Andrew are having a little trouble being away from mom as much as they are.

Babies just woke up, and I didn't do what I wanted to do while they were napping. Ah, well, such is the life of a domestic administrator.

Lighter

2008-11-06T11:09:00.005-06:00

Political season is over. No more heavy discussions. This blog isn't about the big world, its about my little world and what matters most to me, so you get to see pictures today! Cheers, and Bottoms up!

Two weekends ago I mentioned a trampoline campout with the kids. Claire, Emylie and Lexi's friend Lynzee are on the trampoline. Mikey and Andrew are trying to cause mischief underneath it.

I don't know where Lexi was at this exact moment--probably getting more bedding. We brought out most everything we had so they would be super-snug.

It is fall here. These are the dazzling colors of our changing leaves. Okay, so its not New England. And, by the way, this is my new house. I also have.......a shrubbery! I don't like it. My arms and back were very sore from cutting it down by a third with loppers. No I don't have a hedge saw. Maybe I'll get one for Mother's day. Hopefully not, I'm just thinking of the year I got a lawn edger. Mike, however is not that kind of guy. Maybe we'll get one for Isaac for his birthday ;)
You will have to click on the picture to full size it to see my Halloween decoration on the porch. That pumpkin is now on a pot on my stove waiting to be mushed into pie filling.

Emylie had her birthday on Sunday, but this weekend is when we have her. She always gets a pumpkin pie 100% from scratch from me for her B-day. She is 13 and a full-on teenager. She is an amazing young woman. She has a profound intellect, being a studious observer. Her ability to observe makes her an outstanding artists. She is loyal to her friends and family and prefers one-on-one conversation to large social gatherings.

I heard a thunk and a fuss, but by the time I got there, there the sadness was gone. Amelia figured out how to climb into the toy box. Anastasia loves her toy sister.

Change

2008-11-05T09:24:00.003-06:00

Yes, I'm very disappointed. I am anxious (in the anxiety sense) about what the future holds. However, I am calm and resigned.

Before McCain nominated Palin for VP, I had no interest in him, except as opposition to Obama. I expected that Republicans could not hold on to the Presidency with approval where it has been. It is just the cycle of politics.

The great advantage to Obama's win is that Mitt Romney can run again in 4 years, where if McCain won, he would run again in '12, and if he won Palin would be a shoe-in canditate in '16, blocking up 2 elections minimum, and possibly 3. And if there were that may succesive terms of Republican rule, America could not possibly sustain support for another term. As is, we get a break from the Republicans and get reminded of what America is like under Dem's, so we can appreciate a need for Republican balance.

Some are concerned that Obama meets the description of the Anti-Christ in Revelation. I am not convinced of that. I do find it interesting that in our post 9-11 world our country selected someone with some Muslim background and sympathies. I don't think that is wrong, as much as it is an interesting commentary about our perception of differences and enemies. During the Cold War and before, there was a national hype that was government and media supported about who was a danger to our country. If you even went to a meeting a communist attended, there was a huge shadow over your head, and you were considered a threat to national security.

Perhaps the McCain campaign percieved that Americans were still subject to communist hysteria (20 years after the end of the cold war, making legal voters who never knew that world) and reasoned that questioning Obama's associations would create fear and suspicion as in years past. They failed miserably in the campaign on so many counts.

I am glad we don't have that sort of xenophobic hype or stereotyping prejudice any more. But now it is like we are not allowed to have enemies. I am not talking about Muslims here, but Jihadists who have declared war on us. The social standard of tolerence need not apply there.

Obviously, I am no longer talking about Barack Obama. He is not a professed Muslim. Rev. Wright's church was bible based (if only tenuously). Yes we need to love everyone and accept their differences. What is tragic is the extrapolation beyond that that it is not okay to disagree with others; to stand up for your personal convictions. The extrapolation worsens to a modern philosophy that there is no right or wrong to defend or fight against, respectively. If we would just give up all our ideals and convictions or avoid sharing them we could have world peace, the philosophy continues. Loving the sinner means being required to love sin. Loving our international neighbor means accepting opressive leaders in the name of peace. Again I stray from my original topic to clarify that when I think of social demand for acceptance of sin, I am thinking of things like homosexuality and abortion, which I certainly don't associate with Muslims or even terrorist who abhor those sins as well. The whole philosophy I am discussing at this point is radical leftist atheism (which with the modern doctrine of evolution--not Darwinian evolution--to me qualifies as a religious creed.)

Back to my original intent: Dennis Miller said on Monday that if Obama won he would not spend the next 4 years bad-mouthing the president, even though he is a 100% McCain supporter. He is tired of criticism and negativity. I totally agree. Of course, since the media is always more kind to a Democrat, it won't be too much of a problem. Still we can only weaken our country by being more unkind to and critical of our leaders than we are of our enemies--even when our leaders have brought us to victory over our enemies. Sickening.

It is time to heal and pray that despite liberal leadership, the body of Americans will have an increasing sense of morality and decency. Our economic future depends on it. The over-riding theme of the Book of Mormon is 'Inasmuch as you keep the commandments of God, living with faith in Jesus Christ who should come, you shall prosper in the promised land of the Americas.'

There is much more to be said about that, but I have micro concerns of my own for today.

Revealed

2008-11-03T11:14:00.002-06:00

I was sustained yesterday as the Ward Music Director. I had been substituting in Primary, leading the childrens music as a long term sub and was loving that. I was hoping that I might permanently be called to that. Instead, I have to work with the adults. I am supposed to select songs for the main congregational meeting, direct them, and select special numbers as well as direct the choir.

This is the first calling I have had (including Visiting Teaching) since before the babies were born. I am really glad to be doing something. I think people think it is so hard to have twins that they have been afraid to ask anything of me. Silly. In fact, that probably contributed to my decision to write a religious themed musical theater production. I was really tired of not doing anything and decided it was time to take initiative myself, and not wait to be asked. Now I have that on my plate and have been given an additional assignment. But when it is something you love, it never feels like work.

Ugh! I Cheated Myself

2008-11-02T06:45:00.004-06:00

I am sitting here dressed, hair fixed, makeup and Cookie Lee accessories ;) on with an hour before we have to be at church, which gives me time to feed and bathe babies and remind my husband about 20 times that it is time to get ready.

But thank goodness I had a little extra time to check my computer before the babies woke up because the clock indicates that I have TWO hours to be ready for church. Of COURSE it's daylight savings time! I could have slept another hour. My blessed husband, who did not go to sleep until 3;30 because he was playing World of Warcraft gets a one hour respite from my nagging. I get to blog, the babies get a long bath, and the rest of the kids will just be doing what they would anyway at the homes of their other parents.

Yesterday I went to the CORSA club meeting with Mike and the babies, Cash (who is the actual member of the club) Arren and Scott. CORSA is for owners and afficcianados of Corvairs. Again, everybody loved the babies, not only because they are adorable, and there are two of them, but they are magnificently behaved. One of the ladies chatted with me for at least 15 minutes about her grandsons and aunts who were twins.

Somebody said to me when I was pregnant with the twins, "When you have twins, you have to listen to everybody's twin stories." It's true. Everybody knows twins are cool, and they want to let you know that they are somehow connected to that coolness. "I have sisters who are twins." My aunt... My brother-in-law... My best friend's sister had twins. My godson married a twin. etc, etc. It doesn't bother me, and I don't blame them. You kind of get the same effect with pregnancy, but because it is more common than twins, there is not quite the degree of fervor.

It is Fast Sunday and I have plenty of time to think about how I'm not eating breakfast. I am fasting for God to guide Americans as they make their decisions about the presidency and other leadership. Time to let the babies splash in the tub.

Canton Trade Days

2008-10-31T08:15:00.002-05:00

The first weekend of every month is Canton Trade Days. I have been interested in going for a long time, but never have. My friend Theresa was coming with her friends Thursday and asked me if I would be interested in joining her. It is less than 1/2 hour from where I live.

Other than having to pay $5 for parking and $25 to buy a Red Flyer Wagon to drag the babies around because I didn't check to make sure my stroller was in the back of the van before I left, it was pretty good. There were lots of booths and vendors selling handicrafts, imports, "antiques" and used junk. There were also some samplings of homemade salsas and preserves, etc. Homemade candles and soaps shared space with Tupperware distributors, homeopaths, beauty supplies.

My babies are absolutely perfect. They sat up in the wagon and watched the people ooh and aaah at them, smiled appropriately and never complained about a thing from 9 until 2. They were a little fussy around 11, so I repositioned them so they could sleep, which they did for a little while--until somebody said "ooh! how precious!" too loud.

I only bought a christmas ornament personalized with the year and every child's name. I still need to get "Baby's first Christmas" ones, but we now have our annual family one. Today should be another good day for the babies to sleep since they got 40min total naptime yesterday--though they did go to bed 1 hr. early.

We had a visit from a member of the Bishopric last night to offer me my first calling in our new ward. Stay tuned for more information on that.

Time to feed the babies breakfast.

Really, I love Mondays

2008-10-28T10:23:00.002-05:00

When everybody is here, the babies don't sleep. They take 1/2 hour naps and are fussy. They have gotten used to quiet daytime. They are ultra social, and love their siblings. Therefore, they don't want to miss a moment of the party. The slightest sound reminds them they might be missing something.

When Monday rolls around and the kids are all back in school, the babies sleep all day to make up for lost time. I can get a lot done that way.

Did I mention Amelia got another tooth in? That's five in her little mouth at 9 months. And she bites.

Monday morning they were both on the bed with Daddy and Mommy. Anastasia started giggling and crawling away, like "chase me Daddy, I want to play!" It was cold and the blankets were warm. They love burying their faces in the pillow and kicking their legs waiting for us to grab or tickle them. Sometimes I'll be working and hear the two of them giggling. They will be doing something like playing peek-a-boo in the curtains with each other. The joy of it is not something that can be described. It is just amazing to watch their faces as the hidden thoughts of their mind pass across them; to see the wonder of developing intelligence.

This precious time is so short.

Bug

2008-10-25T14:38:00.002-05:00

I caught the facebook bug. I should be able to settle down, now that I have almost 100 friends and contact established. I spent way too much time on it, but I think there was some value in the time spent. Still, I prefer blogging for it's pace and permanence. Facebook is about clips and personal soundbits. Here I can express myself at length (or brevity if I prefer). It is all mine, and not cluttered.

The kids slept out on the trampoline last night. They actually made it through then night. The low was in the mid 40's. I think it was usually that cold on Nevada nights that I spent outside in my youth. It is unbearable to sleep outside in Texas summer. Fall is beautiful.

Now I am going to work on my project.

NOW Pictures

2008-10-23T13:21:00.007-05:00

This is what it looks like when I am trying to blog--or anything else. I am always on the computer these days--it seems, anyway.

I have started training the babies how to climb up and down the stairs. I am tired of carrying them. They are not good at it unless they are crawling up, I have planted a bottle a few steps above them, and they are not too tired and hungry to play my little game.

Anastasia has picked up the habit of propping her foot on the table when she eats. I haven't even tried to tell her it's not polite to do your stretches at the table.

No Pictures

2008-10-18T21:19:00.003-05:00

I had a couple of pictures I was going to post, but I got them off my camera-or tried-and they weren't there.

I had the kids this weekend. We visited the old neighborhood. Claire and Emylie went to the mall with our old neighbor Sybil. She doesn't have any kids of her own, and is not expecting that she will ever be able to, so she likes to spoil other people's children.

Mike went to help his friend, Cash, put an engine back in his car. We thought the boys would be able to play with their old friends, but no one was home. We went over to Scott and Arren's house to hang out. Isaac and I did tanagram puzzles (love them)and were trying to get Andrew interested, but he wasn't biting. The babies crawled around on the nice, soft shag carpet and occasionally had to be steered away from the cat dish. Isaac and Emylie had to get back right away because they had a mini-youth conferences, because they are just mini-youth. They are at a dance right now. They will be back around ten-thirty. I am excited for them.

Mike is still working on the car. So it has been just Claire and Andrew and I with the babies. It has been kind of nice. I helped Andrew build a Hot Wheels city with our many road pieces, and I cut his hair.

Claire was out on the trampoline while I was cutting Andrew's hair, and since we are far enough out of the city that you can see a few stars, she was asking about constellations and I showed her a couple. I love my kids so much. There is always so much that I want to do with them, but I hardly ever end up doing anything at all with them. I love them all so much.

Also, if you had given up on checking Mike or Lexi's blog, they have been better lately. I put another letter on Lay Family History and did a post on my visit to Kirksville in case anyone was looking for some extra reading.

Political

2008-10-15T21:47:00.006-05:00

Just got done watching the final presidential debate. I have been fairly non-political in past years because of disillusionment in the government. However, as a democratic republic, we, as citizens have the responsibility to be involved in our own governance. So here I go.

Barack Obama creeps me out. Watching him tonight I thought of my ex-husband, who studies communication tactics and carefully shapes his image. He had the same bird-like tilt to his head with excessive eye blinking and measured responses that I have come to associate with a dishonesty so deep that the individual doing it believes the lies himself. Your assent to his duplicity is presumed and no defense is needed. Call it charisma if you like; I call it manipulation.

People who are chronically dishonest know how to mince words and shade terms to subvert truth without being able to be caught in an outright lie; the masters of truth by technicality. It is this technical approach to truth that allows them to accept their own dishonesty. Enough about my ex, let's get back to the debate.

Obama appeals incessantly to the middle class, which he defines as people making up to $250K (per anum, I presume--wouldn't that be nice). It's all about what he is going to do for us. We have the highest number of votes, after all. 5% of the population makes 95% of the money, so although the 5% has the power of money, we the 95% have the power of politics. Is it moral for the majority vote to exercise power over the economic majority and require that their economy trickle down to us?

It could be argued that the rich have become such because of the labor and spending of us, the middle class--one big Wal-Mart, millions of itty-bitty us 88 cents at a time. Shouldn't there be a success tax where they give us regular bonuses and kickbacks for helping them become what they are?

Maybe we shop there because the lower cost is our kickback. But that comes at the price of putting the neighborhood country mart out of business so we don't get as many choices as we might like. That is the model of the free market economy. Obama doesn't like the free market. He wants to impose order to it.

The BIG problem with social justice is that it is conceived and administered by government. The redistribution of wealth, known as socialism, though noble as an ideal, has been proven century after century as unadministerable. Why? Because of human greed and government corruption. We complain again and again about corruption in government. We see the "public servants" taking entitlements and self-aggrandizing as a rule rather than an exception, and we expect them to take the money we, the middle class, "deserve" and use it wisely for our benefit? PU! LEEEEASE!!

Pause here and come back later if you need to.

I am a republican because, as a rule, the party leans toward limiting government programs, supporting private initiative for social improvement, and advocating the rights of the local governments and businesses to determine how best to govern themselves.

My party preference is also because I wholeheartedly believe that government CAN legislate morality and has for years (as in Thou shalt not kill translates into a prison or death sentance for those who do). Amorality is lawlessness. Without conservative values the fabric of society decays, crime increases, and our personal security is lost. The good of society must be balanced with the good of the individual. The individual may not want to deliver an unplanned baby, but if society condones foeticide then life itself loses value and killing becomes rational, if only by a small degree.

As far as the redistribution of wealth, God has clearly revealed in the scriptures of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that all flesh is equal and that Zion is where there are no poor because everyone is to give all that they have, and then receive back what they need. The distribution is administered by the bishops of the church (who are not elected or appointed, but called of God). This has been successfully executed for brief periods of time in scripture, but has ultimately failed because of greed and pride among the members. The only way for it to succeed is to have God himself preside over it with his incorruptible justice, mercy, and love. This will happen when He reigns on earth for a thousand years of peace. God will not demand contribution or seize assets by legislation or force. He requires the heart and a willing mind. Those who are allowed to live on the earth during his reign will be those who love their neighbor as themselves; who are not willing to live in comfort when another struggles for survival.

Redistribution of wealth can only be done on a voluntary, individual basis when overseen by God. It is absolutely impossible to do otherwise. Those socialists who have no faith in God must be commended for acknowledging the need for human equality and for hoping for an ideal, but there will always be the one leader who wants power and wealth for himself who will destroy the hope of the many and subject them to his will. God must be the moral compass and giver of inalienable human rights or man will always be subject to the injustice of man.

Thank you for getting this far (even if you did mindlessly skim a bit).

Weight Gain

2008-10-14T21:50:00.002-05:00

When people gain weight they start having trouble with joints. I have stairs and my knees are absolutely killing me. I carry 20+% to 40+% of my body weight up and down the stairs 3-6 times a day. It is time for the twins to learn how to walk. They each weigh about 25lbs, and have no chance of getting lighter.

Amelia (I think I already said this) scaled 4 steps the other day. That kind of behavior needs to be encouraged. She is also standing and letting go of things for brief periods of time. No, I am not anxious for my babies to grow up, I just know my limits. I can't carry these two much longer without seriously jeopardizing my physical well-being.

Amelia is also very adept and clapping now. Anastasia can blow properly into a flutophone/recorder instrument, and is now deliberately doing an inhale whistle. She learned how to do it because she always does it accidentally with the tight way she holds her lips and breathes in when she is concentrating. I have imitated it and she has repeated my imitation, proving that she is able to do it consciously. She has my Mariah Carey range and likes the sound of her own voice. She enjoys singing to my Charlotte Church CD with me. Both of them are good at matching pictches. Amelia bounces up and down to the music when it has a good beat or cadence.

Right now (who knows if the pattern will last) Amelia has a tendency towards tidiness when eating her food. She would rather have me put it in her mouth so she doesn't make a mess with it. Anastasia digs in, smears and smushes.

I am sleeping through the night these days. I am not sure if the babies are, but I haven't heard them. A couple of nights their door or mine has been shut, making it difficult to hear them. If they have had trouble, they have been able to deal with it themselves. This is as good a time as any to learn self-reliance. I was wondering if I was ever going to get a full night sleep again. Of course, I still have to deal with a husband who won't go to bed when he should. Speakin' of which, let me see if I can work on that.

5 Quirky Things About Me

2008-10-11T13:33:00.004-05:00

1. It's what's on the inside that counts. I am not good at keeping my house tidy--putting shoes away, finishing laundry, making kids pick up, vacuuming, I almost never dust or do windows, but I always put everything in my cabinets and drawers exactly the same way--well, I'm not as meticulous with my closet, but all pans, canned goods, silverware, dishes etc are stacked the same way, rotated by date and predictably positioned.

2. I walk very close to the walls in hallways and on stairs and take a longer path in rooms, walking where most people don't in an attempt to even out foot traffic wear on floors

3. I could eat frosted mini-spooners (yeah, the Malt-O-Meal version) every morning for the rest of my life--with 15- 20 in the bottom of the bowl, frosted side up with the heaviest frosting in the back so that I can eat the best last. All cereal I eat holding the bowl tipped forward so the milk doesn't get on the cereal in the back until just before I eat it so that the last bite has the same moisture/consistency as the first bite. I eat several small bowls rather than one big soggy bowl. If the phone rings after I have poured the milk, they will have to leave a message.

4. I am such a cheapskate (from years of poverty) that I will rework furniture dozens of times in an attempt to redecorate. Design on a Dime has a $1,000 budget? Holy Cow, I don't think I have ever spent more than $200 on a room. It's all hand-me-downs and throw-aways renewed with an occcasional clearance bedding, drape, or rug, unless I find $1 a yard fabric I like and make it myself. Paint is magic.

5. I pray kneeling on my bed with my fanny up and my head on the pillow like a Muslim because of years of having a top bunk.

That's what I get for catching up on everybody else's blogs, I get tagged. Now I tag Kim, Dove, Marla, Consie, and Dee.

Trip Report

2008-10-11T09:47:00.010-05:00

I am home. The babies are happy to see their daddy. Amelia doesn't have to flirt now with every man she sees. Today is their 9 month day.

They had fun riding in the car with grandma and grandpa--especially since mama was in the back seat with them. They love to play peek-a-boo and will take any fabric or clothing item and try to put it over their head--even socks. Sometimes they get tired of the paparazzi.

The babies got to play with their Uncle Mark for a couple of days before he went to Belfast, or some other place in the UK. They played in Grandma's store and in Grandma's basement, and anywhere else we set them down.

I was busy the first four days transcribing their guest log into an excel sheet so we can create a database and grow the Far West Historical Society. Then I worked on the website. Those pages should be posted as of this evening (Saturday), so please check it and tell me what you think.

They started work on the farm house this week as well. They are adding 8 feet to the back (which they are pouring concrete for the supports for) and extending the porch all the way across the front. They had to take off all the vinyl siding so they could replace it with a consistent masonite planking.

I spent one morning helping Dee (see the Gordons at right) get her garage packed so they could move into the house they just built. I got a picture of Abigail and Zeke holding...we thought it was Amelia, but I'm not positive. Grandma posted that on her blog. Apparently Zeke loves babies and always wants to hold them, but Mom S and I decided that it would be okay if they got married so that I could at least have a shot at red-headed grand-babies.

Despite all that, we managed to squeeze in a little fun. We were shopping for shoes and got stuck in Kohl's, darn it! We came out with the usual spankin good clearance deals. Now the girls and I are set for our summer/spring wardrobe for next year.